Texas Dream Catcher
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "CHAPTER NUEVE; PART UNO"Drug & human trafficking, can romance win?
34 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
How sad about Diego getting stabbed. Now someone has accused Soni of doing peyote...there is clearly someone out to to her and her family harm. I know she wasn't using it so she should be back soon. I hope Diego is okay when she returns. Great work with this chapter. You kept my full attention from beginning to end. I now anxiously wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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How sad about Diego getting stabbed. Now someone has accused Soni of doing peyote...there is clearly someone out to to her and her family harm. I know she wasn't using it so she should be back soon. I hope Diego is okay when she returns. Great work with this chapter. You kept my full attention from beginning to end. I now anxiously wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from rmj09
The focus homeland security believing Soni used peyote during her dance. The storyline development is Diego has had his surgery and Grandfather has done his part and Diego let Soni he is healing.
The dialogue is clear and tells the emotions and stress the characters are going through. The narrative shows the action of Grandfather arriving.
The hook where is Jim and what is he up to?
The emotions I felt joy that Diego is still alive and pride that Grandfather came to help.
I really find myself drawn into this story.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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The focus homeland security believing Soni used peyote during her dance. The storyline development is Diego has had his surgery and Grandfather has done his part and Diego let Soni he is healing.
The dialogue is clear and tells the emotions and stress the characters are going through. The narrative shows the action of Grandfather arriving.
The hook where is Jim and what is he up to?
The emotions I felt joy that Diego is still alive and pride that Grandfather came to help.
I really find myself drawn into this story.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Poor Soni has her hands full in this. Signs are encouraging that Diego will make it, but there's still the matter of the kidnapped horse. To pile on, the agent accuses her of using peyote and she has to go for questioning. With all the efforts to get her, is it possible might have drugged her without her knowledge? There is certainly a concerted effort to cause her trouble. Kuruk is a help to Soni, someone she can count on. Jim is so mysterious, he's among the missing this morning. Scene with the vet is very realistic. Great work, and well worth a six! judi
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Poor Soni has her hands full in this. Signs are encouraging that Diego will make it, but there's still the matter of the kidnapped horse. To pile on, the agent accuses her of using peyote and she has to go for questioning. With all the efforts to get her, is it possible might have drugged her without her knowledge? There is certainly a concerted effort to cause her trouble. Kuruk is a help to Soni, someone she can count on. Jim is so mysterious, he's among the missing this morning. Scene with the vet is very realistic. Great work, and well worth a six! judi
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
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You're very welcome. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. judi
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - you are the queen of pace! Everything that you write seems so perfect. Of course, I try to stay current, but even if I drop in, your work is well paced and technically correct. I'm a FAN! Bill
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Barbara - you are the queen of pace! Everything that you write seems so perfect. Of course, I try to stay current, but even if I drop in, your work is well paced and technically correct. I'm a FAN! Bill
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the encouraging words.
Comment from mumsyone
Good chapter, Barbara. I'm glad to hear that Diego isn't going to die.
Predawn light lit up the dining room,(no comma) as the Shaman closed his healing bag.
"I know you were at the reservation(,) participating in a Native American powwow,(. Isn't) isn't that what they call them?"
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Good chapter, Barbara. I'm glad to hear that Diego isn't going to die.
Predawn light lit up the dining room,(no comma) as the Shaman closed his healing bag.
"I know you were at the reservation(,) participating in a Native American powwow,(. Isn't) isn't that what they call them?"
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you, again, for your helpful review. I have made the corrections.
Comment from boxergirl
Touching scene with Soni's grandfather comes to assist with helping Diego recover. I like it when Diego thumps his tale, a sign to Soni that he will recover. Something is amiss when Robert Hughes shows up with accusing Soni of doing drugs.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Touching scene with Soni's grandfather comes to assist with helping Diego recover. I like it when Diego thumps his tale, a sign to Soni that he will recover. Something is amiss when Robert Hughes shows up with accusing Soni of doing drugs.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Another nail biter. Hope the dog makes it. One thing about innocence. Nothing will show up unless planted. Good write as always Enjoyed much.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Another nail biter. Hope the dog makes it. One thing about innocence. Nothing will show up unless planted. Good write as always Enjoyed much.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Than you for your kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
The type of quality chapter I expect from you.
Only a couple of concerns.
"You can't be finished with your investigation so soon. [Who is this speaking? Alex had just spoken at the end of the last paragraph. It sounds like he's speaking again. I just saw it was soni. Couldn't she have put that wild blackberry in her mouth after her first sentence? LOL, seriously, though, the sooner the reader establishes the character's voice the better.]
Hughes' voice was stern as took hold of her arm. [...as HE took hold...]
Good work -- as usual!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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The type of quality chapter I expect from you.
Only a couple of concerns.
"You can't be finished with your investigation so soon. [Who is this speaking? Alex had just spoken at the end of the last paragraph. It sounds like he's speaking again. I just saw it was soni. Couldn't she have put that wild blackberry in her mouth after her first sentence? LOL, seriously, though, the sooner the reader establishes the character's voice the better.]
Hughes' voice was stern as took hold of her arm. [...as HE took hold...]
Good work -- as usual!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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I have added the he. As for the first suggestion, I like it the way it is. There's a paragraph break and I feel the two sentences Soni says should not be broken up. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
excellent dialogue, moving in its nature, as the characters display their emotions about the gravely wounded Diego
fascinating description of the healing work of Grandfather, the Shaman
I'm always here for you, my child - add comma for direct address
Mack laid on her opposite side - lay - past tense of to lie
a dramatic confrontation as the government guy accuses her of taking peyote at the ceremony
Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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excellent dialogue, moving in its nature, as the characters display their emotions about the gravely wounded Diego
fascinating description of the healing work of Grandfather, the Shaman
I'm always here for you, my child - add comma for direct address
Mack laid on her opposite side - lay - past tense of to lie
a dramatic confrontation as the government guy accuses her of taking peyote at the ceremony
Brooke
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Barb,
Definite trouble brewing. Nothing good will come of Soni and Hughes battling.
~ Typo X 2
- Even though Tatiana, Alex, and Jim encouraged Soni (to) go to bed,
- Hughes' voice was stern as (he) took hold of her arm.
Good, fast paced chapter.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Hi, Barb,
Definite trouble brewing. Nothing good will come of Soni and Hughes battling.
~ Typo X 2
- Even though Tatiana, Alex, and Jim encouraged Soni (to) go to bed,
- Hughes' voice was stern as (he) took hold of her arm.
Good, fast paced chapter.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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I swear those words were there because when I edited I read them as being there. LOL Thank you.
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I'm sure there we have our own personal gremlins in our computers testing us at all times! (*.*) I know they live in mine. No matter how many times I go over my chapters, always something pops up.
Cheers
