Brownie
I had brownies in the oven when I wrote this.4 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Jacob,
love your content,, but I find your syllable count a bit off... line two# has eight, if not nine... line three# has six.
Suggestion...
chocolate, so good and sweet
messy and complete.
Without proper syllable count there is no use wishing you the best wishes for the contest, you will be disqualified... so get to fixing it up, then, all best wishes in the contest... and yes, chocolate is heaven sent!
With our thoughts we create,
recipes of the heart,
James.
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Hi Jacob,
love your content,, but I find your syllable count a bit off... line two# has eight, if not nine... line three# has six.
Suggestion...
chocolate, so good and sweet
messy and complete.
Without proper syllable count there is no use wishing you the best wishes for the contest, you will be disqualified... so get to fixing it up, then, all best wishes in the contest... and yes, chocolate is heaven sent!
With our thoughts we create,
recipes of the heart,
James.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Jacob - welcome to FaanStory - hope you like it here.
Your 5-7-5 is perhaps a little simple to do well in this contest, but it does make me feel hungry. Rhyme is a nice touch.
However, you may want to edt this to fix a couple of lines - I count 8 syllables in line 2 even if I only give 2 to chocolate. The apostrophe in Its is also unnecessary.
Line 3 has 6 syllables...
Steve
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Hi, Jacob - welcome to FaanStory - hope you like it here.
Your 5-7-5 is perhaps a little simple to do well in this contest, but it does make me feel hungry. Rhyme is a nice touch.
However, you may want to edt this to fix a couple of lines - I count 8 syllables in line 2 even if I only give 2 to chocolate. The apostrophe in Its is also unnecessary.
Line 3 has 6 syllables...
Steve
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
Comment from mikemagine
Short, but sweet, with pun intended. Yes, the aroma of baking brownies...that'll put one in the mood to write about food...and maybe one should...
No flaws that I can see.
Mike
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Short, but sweet, with pun intended. Yes, the aroma of baking brownies...that'll put one in the mood to write about food...and maybe one should...
No flaws that I can see.
Mike
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
Comment from granny goes viral
Oh my goodness. I can smell them here. One of the advantages of aging, no dieting allowed. Really. It is true.
Studies have shown slightly over weight woman live longer.
I will live to be 100
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Oh my goodness. I can smell them here. One of the advantages of aging, no dieting allowed. Really. It is true.
Studies have shown slightly over weight woman live longer.
I will live to be 100
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
