The savage stranger
Horro writing prompt32 total reviews
Comment from Acquired Taste
This is my kind of horror writing...really liked this. You twisted the end by using the phrase, "The unsuspecting fellow" thus putting your reader into a false sense of "ah, ha" then turned the tide, well, turned the blade. Nicely penned.....AT=/
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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This is my kind of horror writing...really liked this. You twisted the end by using the phrase, "The unsuspecting fellow" thus putting your reader into a false sense of "ah, ha" then turned the tide, well, turned the blade. Nicely penned.....AT=/
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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Thank you AT for another inspiring review my friend. God bless!
Comment from muezza56
I really enjoyed reading this really well written short story in this horror prompt entry. there can sometimes be a thin dividing line between victim and prey, good choice of accompanying pic
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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I really enjoyed reading this really well written short story in this horror prompt entry. there can sometimes be a thin dividing line between victim and prey, good choice of accompanying pic
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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Thank you muezza for this most inspiring review. God bless!
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always fun reading these short stories or flash fiction that use so few words trying to say and express so much. It isn't and easy task. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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It's always fun reading these short stories or flash fiction that use so few words trying to say and express so much. It isn't and easy task. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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Thank you Ric for this inspiring review my friend. God bless!
Comment from PatVallesMangan
This certainly well fits the Horror genre meets the Flash fiction prompt. I liked the total twist at the end ... totally not expected. You have quite a well working imagination, and you got a lot across in so few words. Good luck in the contest. Blessings! ~ Pat
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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This certainly well fits the Horror genre meets the Flash fiction prompt. I liked the total twist at the end ... totally not expected. You have quite a well working imagination, and you got a lot across in so few words. Good luck in the contest. Blessings! ~ Pat
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2014
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Thank you Pat for this inspiring review. My imagination never seems to sleep, nor does it allow me too LOL! God bless!
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Oooooo, not good to read on a grey, dark morning...well good writing, but a chilling read...now i need more coffee and i think I will check my doors...
padumacahitta
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Hi. Oooooo, not good to read on a grey, dark morning...well good writing, but a chilling read...now i need more coffee and i think I will check my doors...
padumacahitta
Comment Written 16-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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LOL! Thank you Padumachitta for another inspiring review. I must be getting a little better at editing LOL! It is cold and grey this morning here as well in Houston Tx. God bless and send me some of that coffee please.
Comment from Drew Delaney
The twist at the end was not expected at all. Not sure about being prey, but I suppose it is for blood or about the fellow doing the same to himself because of thinking himself that he would be found guilty. I don't read these kind of things, so I am left to my imagination. You wrote a lot in few words. Drew
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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The twist at the end was not expected at all. Not sure about being prey, but I suppose it is for blood or about the fellow doing the same to himself because of thinking himself that he would be found guilty. I don't read these kind of things, so I am left to my imagination. You wrote a lot in few words. Drew
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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The imagination is the most wonderful of things don't you think? He was a serial killer who ended up meeting his match. Thank you for another most inspiring review my friend. God bless!
Comment from Glasstruth
Very exciting. With so few words you've introduced mystery, fear and the horror of killing. Yes, indeed it's savage, but written so well. Good luck with the contest. Les
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Very exciting. With so few words you've introduced mystery, fear and the horror of killing. Yes, indeed it's savage, but written so well. Good luck with the contest. Les
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much Glasstruth for another inspiring review. God bless!
Comment from Jay Squires
Fabulous Flash fiction, Neonewman. Horror at its most horrific!
A few concerns:
with the deadbolt, with a gentle twist [A run-on sentence: you need punctuation other than a comma after deadbolt, or use a conjunction such as and after the comma.]
The unexpected fellow [The UNSUSPECTING fellow
Good job, my friend.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Fabulous Flash fiction, Neonewman. Horror at its most horrific!
A few concerns:
with the deadbolt, with a gentle twist [A run-on sentence: you need punctuation other than a comma after deadbolt, or use a conjunction such as and after the comma.]
The unexpected fellow [The UNSUSPECTING fellow
Good job, my friend.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you Jay Squires for this most helpful and inspiring review my friend. I have made the changes and feel this to be complete. God bless!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Nice twist at the end of this gory, creepy story. Good entry. You might want to correct the verb tenses in that last line, though.
As I die within this stranger's arms I became his prey.
SHOULD read:
As I DIED within this stranger's arms I became his prey.
OR
As I die within this stranger's arms I BECOME his prey.
The first choice is better, since the rest of the story is in past tense.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Nice twist at the end of this gory, creepy story. Good entry. You might want to correct the verb tenses in that last line, though.
As I die within this stranger's arms I became his prey.
SHOULD read:
As I DIED within this stranger's arms I became his prey.
OR
As I die within this stranger's arms I BECOME his prey.
The first choice is better, since the rest of the story is in past tense.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you Phyllis for this most inspiring review with incredible direction. I have made the changes and do agree the first one. God bless!
Comment from alexisleech
Well done! It's not easy to fill the readers imagination with so few words, but you have managed it here. To be honest, having looked at the image, I thought it was the story about someone who had been gagging for a cigarette, and eventually succumbed after a decade of abstinence! That has to be the sign of a good writer, because it can be interpreted differently from it's original concept. Alexis x
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Well done! It's not easy to fill the readers imagination with so few words, but you have managed it here. To be honest, having looked at the image, I thought it was the story about someone who had been gagging for a cigarette, and eventually succumbed after a decade of abstinence! That has to be the sign of a good writer, because it can be interpreted differently from it's original concept. Alexis x
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Thank you Alexisleech for this most inspiring review. God bless!
