Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi Dean - Very well done, tells a good story despite the limitations of all the subjects you cannot write about - fortunately the list did not include your favourite genre. Good alliteration in 'virulent vortexes' and 'putrid pall hangs heavy'. Particularly good is the stanza 'Death holds court ........' so true an a good use of metaphor. Good Luck in the contest. Dorothy x

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Dorothy. It was quite a list of no-no's, wasn't it?

I am very pleased you enjoyed my attempts at writing free verse poetry. I generally prefer the metered, rhyming type, but this one posed some unique challenges.

I love a challenge! LOL...

Thanks again. :}

Comment from emrpoems

Exceptional

Death resides here.
His putrid pall hangs heavy.
No one can stop him.
He has dominion over time itself.

a powerful message about the frailty of the human body much like dead leaves. I agree with your concept and loved your composition

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, emrpoems. I truly appreciate your outstanding assessment. In reality, when all is said and done in the end of life, we are nothing more than withered leaves -- compost. if you will -- for the creepy-crawlies that live beneath the surface of the ground.

Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust, as it were, LOL...

Thanks so much again, my friend. I'm very grateful to you for your brilliant review. :}

~Dean~

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello Dean
I like how reminded us

that our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.
our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.

A quote said by
~Albert Einstein

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks, Gert, and it is so ironic that you should mention that famous quote. I almost put it into the very beginning of my poem, but was afraid because of the stringent contest rules that it would not be permitted, and get me disqualified yet again. It just happens to be one of my favorite quotes of all time.

reply by Gert sherwood on 13-Nov-2014

You are welcome Dean.
Death is a very difficult subject to write about.
the best to you in this contest.

Gert

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks again, Gert. :}

Hugs!

Comment from Susan B. Lamphier

Excellent

Very powerful! I like the way you manipulated the text to add "illustration" to swirling leaves, and compacting the chorus of death's very nature. You are not maudlin, nor are you romantic, but simply tell the nature of death in a creative, interesting way. Very interesting. Good luck in the contest!
Susan

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Susan. In the end of life -- when all is said and done -- we are nothing more than withered leaves of trees, becoming compost and fodder for the creepy-crawlies that dwell within the earth. You're absolutely right. In no way did I want this to seem romanticized.

Thanks again for your awesome feedback. it is greatly appreciated. :}

Comment from Dobson

Excellent

So chilling! Full of the gothic horror of the graveyard - well done. The language and the imagery is very good -'whispered wisps' and 'ephemeral gossamer ghosts' Lovely!

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much for your outstanding and encouraging response, Dobson. While I'll admit rhyming and metered poetry is more my style, this particular contest posed some interesting challenges I simply could not pass up.

thanks again for you outstanding review! :}

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

This win is in the bag my friend, as soon as the voting begins you have mine. I am out of six stars or I would have served one up on a silver platter. Thank you for sharing your brilliance. God bless!

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Hah-ha, well, I'm so glad that you feel that way, Neonewman, but I seriously doubt that it will win. Contend, perhaps, but free verse is not my forte, and there are some excellent poets involved in this one.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, however, and the awesome review. that really means a lot to me!

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

Death has a hold on this world. The populous will find more ways of killing people then creating life giving curses. This was a well written poetic thoughts transference that I enjoyed reading and writing this response for... John

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so very much, John. I truly appreciate your outstanding feedback. :}

Comment from Michaelk

Excellent

Wow! I read the rules for posting this. I'm surprised you didn't also have to write with one hand tied behind your back while bouncing on a pogo stick.
I liked your poem. It sounded like you sat in some old abandoned house and watched as spiders and snakes devour their prey. The last stanza reminds me of the garden of Eden.
Fantastic descriptions. I got a chill when you described the swirling wind. You created an amazing atmosphere of darkness and decay.
Hence the title. :)
Great job.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Michael. I sincerely appreciate your outstanding feedback, my friend. Thanks for taking a look at it! :}

Comment from ravim

Excellent

Extemely dramatic, shooting power, flaming imagery all combine to make this dance of Death, something of and extraordinary experience. I am seeing a case of poetry powering its way into our souls. Great work.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, ravim. I sincerely appreciate your outstanding feedback. :}

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This is a wonderfully penned free verse and over the top in form and the depth of emotion each line evokes in the reader. I thoroughly enjoyed the craftsmanship. I hope you do not get dinged for some of the formatting given Ray requested "plain" black text which I think implies no formatting. I will keep my fingers crossed for you and wish you al the best in the voting.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Monica, and I hope not either. I've already been disqualified from two contests this week, and my funny money account is getting very depleted, LOL. I appreciate your outstanding feedback. :}

reply by Mystic Angel 7777 on 13-Nov-2014

Apparently the compliance committee has poor taste if they keep disqualifying YOU!

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Nah, it's been my fault, really. Except, I'm not so sure about my last disqualification. They said I neglected to include the word 'rock" in my short story, "Shooting Star", which is true, i did, initially. But after a fellow member pointed it out, I revised the story and included the word before the contest went public. Still, it was disqualified.

Live and learn, right? :}

reply by Mystic Angel 7777 on 13-Nov-2014

Makes you wonder if they are actually reading the entry OR simply looking for issues by just perusing the reviews.

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

hard to say, Monica. but, I just try to look at it as water under the bridge. After all, I did screw up initially, so there's really no one to blame but myself. if i had included the word from the get-go, there never would have been an issue. That's how I'm trying to look at it, anyhow, to keep my sanity (rather, what little I have remaining!), heh-heh...