Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Okay, okay, that's it, I'm not going to be buried beneath the sod, as coffee grounds for compost from the worms. Being burnt to ashes and thrown to the sea, mineral supplements for the fish sounds better to me. Great poem. :-)

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Sounds good to me as well, Ric. Thanks so much for the entertaining review. I do appreciate it! :}

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is yet another interesting and brooding post that the author has created with this piece of work. Well done yet again on another great write.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Tomes. I am very happy that you enjoyed this one, my friend. I appreciate you taking the time to read & review it for me. :}

reply by Tomes Johnston on 14-Nov-2014

No problem

Comment from Veeb

Excellent

Imagine my surprise when 'decay' was not about teeth! That was my first thought when I saw the title. Well, now, this really is almost over descriptive of what is happening in my leaf pile right now! hmmm. I love the format and everything works together to bring a very weird, spooky, and mysterious curiosity to something so mundane as a pile of leaves. I hear what you are saying! Well done and the very best to you in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

When we die, we are are little more than withered leaves, empty hollow shells of humanity. We are nothing but compost, much like withered, dying leaves.

Thanks so much for your outstanding comments, Veeb. They are greatly appreciated. :)

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

effective formatting
excellent alliteration in virulent vortexes, whispered wisps and others
good assonance in whispered wisps
good use of enjambment
you create a dark atmosphere effectively and employ powerful imagery
it's final feast = drop the apostrophe

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Done, and done, Brooke. Thanks so much for taking time out to read and review my meager attempt at free verse poetry without embellishment.

I appreciate it. :}

~DeanO

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

That was an amazing dissertation of death. Your poetic imagery , that reeked of its profound putrification, was worded deftly, nay exquisitely, with the touch of a true maestro.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks, Tom, but poets like yourself are the true maestros here, LOL. I rarely write free verse poetry and felt it would be a challenge, and perhaps a nice change of pace.

I'm very happy that you enjoyed reading my meager offering.

Comment from butterfly4265

Excellent

This is incredibly powerful with a lot of strong imagery. I could almost smell the stench of death as I was reading. Excellent composition and description. In my opinion a strong contest contender. I wish you the best of luck!

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Incredibly powerful...thanks, butterfly. What a wonderful compliment, especially as it pertains to free verse poetry as that is precisely what it's all about.

I very much appreciate it, my friend!:}

~DeanO

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

Dean, the language is most creative and inventive in this free verse Poe-esque specialty that you write so well. "Violent vortexes," "ephemeral ghosts of insects shudder and shiver..." I like the personification of Death in the phrase, "Death holds court underground," and others. From your words, I can feel the darkness and imagine the repulsive creatures (that threaten to give me nightmares).

I'm not sure whether this will be considered "plain black type," but I assume the fancy presentation is one of the privileges of "free verse" - part of what makes it free. As always, I am impressed with your writing. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Thanks so much for your thoughtful and very perceptive review, Jeanie. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my meager attempts at writing free verse poetry, I'll admit, it's not my forte.

That being said, so many have mentioned the formatting that I have since removed the "swirling" letters. If I am going to lose this contest, I'd rather it not be because I was disqualified...AGAIN!, LOL...

Thanks so much again. :}

~DeanO

reply by Jeanie Mercer on 14-Nov-2014

That sounds like a wise decision. One more bit of caution might be to get rid of the italics until the contest is over, in the spirit of "plain type." (Then you can fix it any way you like it.)

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Strong imagery provided here in your poem about Decay. Some big words I had to look up :) but still I had no trouble visualizing this gruesome description of the decomposition process. It reminded me of some of Patricia Cornwell's descriptive writing. Great free verse. 8-)

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014

I love Patrica Cornwell, boxergirl, particularly her book, "Postmortem". read it cover to cover in under a week. I'd love to meet her one of these days. but, i digress...

Thanks so much again for your outstanding review. I do appreciate it! :}

Comment from Just2Write

Exceptional

Geez, Dean - where did you pull this from? It's so powerful and although it is about the macabre side of life, it is quite beautiful, really. But, then in its own curious way, death is. I enjoyed how you took us from the decaying leaves that fall from trees, into the places along the wall where they gather and rot, into the micro-world of bugs and creepy things as you descend into the nether lands and then finally into the kingdom of death. Nice, subtle reference to the serpent who beguiled Eve. Loved your fanciful use of Swirling and creeping. It added an element of fun. Very Hitchcock-like.
Rose.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Hah-ha, I'm not entirely sure where this one came from, Rose. I read the contest rules, with all of it's stipulations against art work (which I frequently employ), animations (those too), and no colored backgrounds...etcetera, etcetera... ad infinitum ... and took the challenge rather personally, I suppose. I know Ray well, the contests creator. He's not too fond of my overtly showy pieces sometimes, I think, LOL.

As I contemplated what to write about, I looked out the window of my office. We have an ancient, very old oak tree perched in our front yard. Now, stripped almost bare, it looks skeletal, creepy, and one could even say quite scary! Leaves were falling from it, and I thought how we are nothing more than compost -- like falling leaves -- when we die and are returned to the earth. Skeletal tree, human skeletons, stripped of life and flesh after death. Like compost, dead and withered leaves are we in the end ...

That is where my inspiration came from.

So sorry to ramble on so, but you did ask, heh-heh...

Thanks so much for the wonderful rating and review, Rose. I truly appreciate it!

~Dean :}

reply by Just2Write on 13-Nov-2014

Sometimes, inspiration comes from the strangest places. Ray-man is a great sponsor for contests - and I know he has all those rules for good reason. Glad they helped to 'weed' out the clutter in your inspirational garden. Rose.

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Ha, ha, Yes, I have the utmost respect and admiration for Ray, in all seriousness, Rose. He is one of the few gentlemen left in the world, I fear. :}

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, dean, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the decay that takes place in autumn, great imagery presented. I wish you the best of luck in the contest

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, sweetwoodjax. I appreciate your outstanding feedback. :}