Comment from krys123

Excellent

Dean;
superb alliteration in "virulent vortexes" and "shudder and shiver" and "slither like a serpent", brilliantly composed, fascinating descriptive and exquisite expressive imagery, fabulous inventive and ingeniously creative imagination and excellently formulated observation of the unique concepts and ideas; these are just a few of many qualities this poem encompasses.
Thank you so much Dean for sharing and posting this this and another great poem written by you and of course may the Lord be with you always Dean.
Alex

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much as always, Alex. Your reviews are always an encouragement to me. Thanks for taking time out to weigh in on this rare attempt at free verse from me. I am grateful for your great feedback! :}

reply by krys123 on 14-Nov-2014

You are so sincerely welcome Dean. Your poetry is like no others that I have read. It is clearly one is close to Edgar Allan Poe than I have read ever read from someone else.
Keep on keeping on
Alex

reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Thanks, Alex, you're far too kind, sir. I will try, and you do the same, my friend. :}

God bless...

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

I have no more six stars to give but this poem deserved it. My dear friend Dean, you should be proud of this, it can stand on its own, without art work or author's notes. The visual imagery, the concrete images, the words behaving well in every lines to a smooth finish, a creeping death. The killer line where"Death holds court underground". Truly exceptional. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Nassus, and I'm so pleased to hear you say that. Contrary to popular belief here, when I write a story or a poem, the writing always, and without fail, comes first. After I feel I have down what I want the piece to convey, only then do I go in search of what I feel is an appropriate photo or animations to enhance it. If the writing is horrible, who's gonna care what the pictures look like? I certainly wouldn't if I were reading something.

So, had I been able to add pictures to this, I still would have written it in exactly the same way.

The writing is the meat. The pictures are just the gravy...

Thanks so much for your wonderful review, my friend. :}

~DeanO

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hey, Dean,

This is so vivid with visualization through your written word. And, really, I would have worried had you composed a poem about, say, a Popsicle! Decay----why didn't I think of that! LOL

This was great. I hope you do well in the contest, my friend. This is well thought out and presented.

Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thank you, Jax. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. :]

Comment from jim lawler

Excellent

Good choice of words. It tells a grim story and is understandable. It is an easy read and your description is excellent. Good luck with it in the contest. Jim

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much for your excellent feedback, Jim. I wanted to convey decay and death in its simplest, most organic form. When we die, just like the withered leaves of trees, we become nothing more than empty husks, and compost for the creepy-crawlers that dwell beneath the surface.

Thanks again for yet another outstanding review, my friend. :}

reply by jim lawler on 13-Nov-2014

I got the point Dean. I know it wasn't much of a review but it didn't need any fixing and what can you say about things that are wasting away! Good luck with it! Jim

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Oh, I can find a great deal to say about things that are "wasting away", Jim. But I'm sure you're already aware of that.

Death is as much a part of life as living, you just don't have to endure it as long. :}

Comment from pipersfancy

Excellent

Hi Dean!

Another poem seems to have effortlessly flowed from your pen! I do like the flow of words you have chosen, and the unusual formatting you have used adds visual interest.

I'll be honest... I don't find this one to be creepy at all! Rather, the opposite. I read the beginning part, and looked out my window to see swirling dried leaves... trapped in the corners of my ancient crumbling fence... and I actually find it fascinating and beautiful to see the left over exoskeletons of bugs... little calling cards that they'll return next spring... the grass clippings and most of the leaves I raked are safely deposited in my compost pile where (I hope!) they will decay and break down over the coming months so as to be a ready source of nutrition in my garden come spring...

All in all, it reminds me of the beauty of nature in the fall... and the cycle of life/death/decay/rebirth.

Ok... the last part is a little creepy... I'll give you that!

Best wishes for the contest, my friend!
Christina

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Interesting that you should say that, Christina. This poem was inspired by a very old oak tree that sits in our front yard. Of course, it is nearly bare now, and looks very creepy, like a skeleton. We are nothing more than compost when we die, like dried up, withered leaves. From the earth we were born, and back to the earth we're given.

Thanks for the awesome review. I do appreciate it. :}

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Ah but I gives nourishment to the ground, which nurtures new life, from death is life! Well done Dean, decaying things don't smell that bad, depends what they are! Well written, graphically and articulately described, this was a pleasure to read, definitely a very good entry in this comp. Well done, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thank you, Roy. I am very pleased that you enjoyed reading it. I appreciate your complimentary comments. :}

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

Hi Dean. as always your writing amazes me. I don't know where you get all of the imaginative and vivid imagery from. You make it look so easy and it isn't. Excellent presentation and alliteration. Very well done and good luck.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Aw, you are too kind, Wendyanne, but I do appreciate your kindness very much. Thanks for the encouraging review, my friend. :}

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Wow! Just words. Hey, Dean ... did you refresh youself on the rules? Plain black type on WHITE background. I don't know whether they will be sticklers on the fonts you used, but I'm not looking at white background. It's more of a cream color.

Theme is good. A little religious connotation with the serpent and the bitter fruit.

I like your poem, but then I like most everything you post.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks, Jay. I used the color code listed as "white" from the custom color wheel the editor provides. I first tried titanium white, and it looks much the same. Egg shell white is a definite no-no! So, This was as white as I could seem to make the background, no matter what I tried. Do you have any suggestions?

Anyhow, thanks so much for your encouraging review and excellent feedback. As always, I really appreciate it. :}

reply by Jay Squires on 13-Nov-2014

I don't know, Dean. I'm typing right now against a white that is a lot whiter than the one your poem's on. But, if the color wheel has it listed as white, FS has no basis for disqualification.

Good luck.

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Thanks for finally entering, Deano. I kept clicking on the PM notification, only to find you'd withdrawn the post for now. :-)

This Mr Death bloke sounds a real charmer. ;-)

I'm not sure whether the 'Contest Rules Committee' will accept your clever highlighting and falling words as, 'plain black type', but I guess that rule is open to slight interpretation.

Your trademark creepy descriptive horror shines through here.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks, Rayman! The rules didn't state anything about unique formatting, and it is plain black text, against a simple, white background. I simply sprawled that plain, black text out a bit, to maximize effect, LOL. Of course, with the luck I've had lately in having been disqualified twice this week, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see. Reviewers seem to agree that it follows the contest rules as they are spelled out.

Thanks for your review, and for taking the time to read and comment ion the poem.

Much obliged, mate!

Cheers! :}

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Nov-2014

I meant to imply that, Dean, but you're right - that particular rule isn't clear on formatting.

I LOVE and admire your general brilliant presentation, but I always try in my contests to make all entries as plain as possible to create a level playing field and let the words alone do the talking.

Sorry to hear about your DQs, but I see you've also been very successful with all your recent wins - deservedly so.

Cheers for now, my friend. Ray

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Cheers to you as well, Ray. With the utmost respect, I entered your contest thinking and firmly believing I was in full compliance with the rules you so carefully and painstakingly set down. The very definition of "free verse" is to be free in the way you express yourself, and get your message across. I'm not so sure why you're so adverse to artwork and the like as an extended form of poetic expression, but I respect your right to feel that way.

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Nov-2014

I'm not at all 'adverse to artwork', Dean, and as I said, you are brilliant at it, and your ability in that field adds a lot to your general posts, and I HONESTLY thoroughly enjoy the complete entertainment package you present.

As I've said many times in the past, I want a level playing field in contests, especially as I'm hopeless at original formatting and spectacular presentation.

Hey, mate - it's my contest that I paid for to sponsor, with respect, and whether or not you or anyone else doesn't like my rules, then tough luck - no-one is forced to enter.
:-)

Anyway, I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill, and respect and cherish your friendship and talent very much.

Here's TWO big smackaroonie kisses to prove it. :-)

XX

Ray.

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Hah-ha, yep, you're absolutely right, Ray, and I've already edited my poem and did away with those "swirling" letters, out of respect for you. My funny money account being what it is, and given the fact that I am not permitted to enter in any more prompts until next week, I felt it best to change it and leave it at that.

Smackaroonies right back at 'cha, mate...LOL! :D

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks SO much for that, Deano.

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks SO much for that, Deano.

Hey, what's one swirling word and another highlighted one, between good friends? :-)

Also, I would genuinely hate your original inspired write to have be disqualified.

I feel so much better now, and thanks for the 'respect'...duly returned.

Ray.

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

No worries, Ray. Glad to do it! I don't expect to lasso this rodeo, anyhow. My topic is a bit too morbid to win, I think.

:D

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Nov-2014

You're always in with a chance, Deano, due to you wonderful talent and thoroughly deserved popularity.

'Morbid' is often better than 'melancholy', and you are the MASTER of 'morbid'.

This site would be the loser without your great talent, my friend.

Cheers, Ray.

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

As it would be without yours, Ray. :}

We both try extremely hard to kjeep things interesting around here, I think, heh-heh...
:)

Comment from amada

Excellent

Excellent free verse entry. I am sorry for the rest of the contenders! For sure I read this poem with glee because you gave an awful time to that old decay.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, amada, and I'm very glad that you did, LOL.

I sincerely appreciate your kind comments. :}