Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Dean, you need help my friend lol, This is a seriously excellent gory tale, it's a good job the prompt didn't mention horror! This is a great poem with a really good rhythm and flow, As for description and imagery, well it wasso good that I found myself in that dark dank place, This is more than deserving of a six but I have none left, so I promise you I will vote for this excellent poem to make up for it.

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

I sincerely appreciate your support and thoughtful comments, Eric. Our bodies after we die are not the important thing, as we become compost -- withered leaves of winter trees -- and food for the creepy-crawlies underground. Our souls, however, are a different story entirely, and that's basically the point I was trying to convey here.

Thanks again for your exceptional review, my friend. :}

reply by Eric1 on 14-Nov-2014

It was my pleasure my friend.

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Figures, given this prompt, you'd come up with something about the old snake with the mowing blade. You did hit some
great images.

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Thanks, LIJ REd. I so happy you thought so.

Have yourself a fantastic weekend, my friend. :}

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Hi Dean,

Decay is not a nice thought for anybody, you reiterate this in your well written well presented free verse poem.
Personally I want to be cremated, because just in case I am not really dead.

good luck in the contest.
Mary

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Ha-ha, I've heard many say that exact same thing, Mary.

thanks so much for your thoughtful and encouraging review. :}

~DeanO

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

You've just touched on religion, but slithered out LOL.
Excellent form in these free verse stanzas; contained, tightly written and with good rhythm emanating from clever use of alliteration and assonance
Your usual demonic, horror, ghoulish language is out for a walk in this one. I don't know how you do it.
Whispered wisps of silken cobwebs
adorned with decomposing husks...great stuff.
Good luck in the vote

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Hah, thank you, Mark. I sincerely appreciate your intelligent assessment, my friend!

Best of luck to you as well. :}

~DeanO

Comment from madhatter1977

Exceptional

Hi, Dean. Your imagery as ever is so well written and thought out! When I read your work I am reminded of many past writers but you make your style your own! Best wishes for the contest, Pete :)

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Hey, Pete! Thanks a bunch for dropping in and leaving me with your thoughts and comments on this. I'll admit, free verse is rather foreign ground to me, but i am trying to learn.

I sincerely appreciate your thoughtful comments, and outstanding rating, my friend. :}

~DeanO

Comment from Dr. Nad

Excellent

You have made Decay to be a hopeful new beginning for those who have embraced the eternal. I like that. The use of "swirling in virulent vortexes --


trapped by crumbling, ancient walls.


Whispered wisps of silken cobwebs


adorned with decomposing husks -

ephemeral gossamer ghosts of insects -" grabs me from the beginning. This phrase is juxtaposed against "Death is an imposition" I think you are telling us to live life large until the last drop has been drained.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014

Thanks so much for your kind comments and thoughtful, perceptive assessment of my meager attempts at writing free verse poetry, Dr. Nad. I sincerely appreciate it! :}

~DeanO

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

So that's the simple truth about the way the earth is now.
And here I thought it was Obama's fault.


Realms of darkness
where no light is allowed entry
hold horrifying secrets...

Whoops! sounds like Congress.

Nice use of contrast here: beauty in the creepy.

Whispered wisps of silken cobwebs
adorned with decomposing husks -
ephemeral gossamer ghosts of insects


Speaking of bitter fruit, I just baked chocolate chip cookies and burned them on the bottom. Sigh...

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Yummy...burned chocolate chip cookie dough!

I'll be right over, Shari, heh-heh...

Comment from nor84

Excellent

swirling in virulent vortexes --I think the preferred plural of vortex is vor·ti·ces, but Merriam Webster lists vortexes as second choice. (Hey, I had to say SOMETHING to get by the Fanstory rules.)

Best of luck in the contest, Dean. Looks good.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks, Norma. I really appreciate your thoughtful comments. :}

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

For me, the idea of becoming compost for the creepy crawlies is scary...which is why I choose cremation. Terrific imagery and superb choice of wording. You are a true genius and this is great entry for this contest. I wish you all the best.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Smurhgirlsasha, and I know there are many people who feel just as you do. In reality, once our spirit has left its mortal husk behind, I doubt we will care much about what happens to our bodies. Our flesh, blood and bones...those are just part of the flesh machine that houses the real us, our souls. Our soul, that is the part of us we should truly worry about. The rest is just compost, like dried and withered leaves.

Thanks so much for the awesome feedback. I really appreciate it! :}

reply by Sasha on 13-Nov-2014

I agree that once we are dead, who cares? The problem is the bad dreams while I am still alive that concern me so planning to NOT be buried brings me some relief now...LOL

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Ha ha, I gotcha, Smurph. As for me, they can toss me in a hole under a massive old oak tree for all I care, LOL. It'd be a lot cheaper that way, too, heh-heh...:}

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Excellent

You are the second contender I seen in this plain contest. You followed the guidelines. Reminds me of the Navy, lots of rules. Here are my favorite word groups: adorned with decomposing husks, virulent vortexes, whispered wisks of silken cobwebs, ephemeral gossamer -- I must research these two words. Putrid pall is unusual. Obviously, you did your homework. Well below the 150 mark. I get the feeling that someone already wrote the poem, then created the contest? You out-did yourself on this one. You have proved that you need no pictures, video, music or author notes to be a winner. Your words speak victory. You are a contender, not a pretender. Count your doubloon. wackydo

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014

Thanks, Spook-A-Doo, but I'm not so sure how well this will do. It was in the well received poems, on the front page for awhile, but quickly fell out. There are many entries in this contest which are still listed there. That generally gives me a decent barometer to gauge how well an entry is going to fare in a contest. But, we'll see...

Anyhow, I'm very glad that you enjoyed it just the same, my friend.

Thanks for the encouragement. :}

~SPOOKY

reply by ProjectBluebook on 13-Nov-2014

Anytime.