Andrea's Ghost
An acrostic contest entry86 total reviews
Comment from pipersfancy
Sad... sad... I am a strong believer in the idea that certain places have negative energies/spirits etc. that seem to cling on. Those places just often feel... well... negative, and the folks who live in and nearby may feel that negativity, even if they never actually encounter anything that seems supernatural. Newtown, CT - also the scene of the horrific school shooting tragedy of the kindergarten class just before Christmas, 2 years ago. I loosely knew one of the victims... a little girl by the name of Ana Grace lost her life in that classroom. She and her family had occasionally visited the church to which I belong while they lived here in Winnipeg. Her father was a professor at the University of Manitoba, a gifted jazz musician with the faculty of Music. They didn't make my church their church home... instead, they chose a church closer to the location where they had built their home on the other side of the city. I posted a commemorative poem to Ana Grace in December 2013 entitled 'Without You'.
Another great write with this one, Dean.
Christina
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Sad... sad... I am a strong believer in the idea that certain places have negative energies/spirits etc. that seem to cling on. Those places just often feel... well... negative, and the folks who live in and nearby may feel that negativity, even if they never actually encounter anything that seems supernatural. Newtown, CT - also the scene of the horrific school shooting tragedy of the kindergarten class just before Christmas, 2 years ago. I loosely knew one of the victims... a little girl by the name of Ana Grace lost her life in that classroom. She and her family had occasionally visited the church to which I belong while they lived here in Winnipeg. Her father was a professor at the University of Manitoba, a gifted jazz musician with the faculty of Music. They didn't make my church their church home... instead, they chose a church closer to the location where they had built their home on the other side of the city. I posted a commemorative poem to Ana Grace in December 2013 entitled 'Without You'.
Another great write with this one, Dean.
Christina
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Thanks, Christina. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review it.
~Dean
Comment from nor84
Wow, what can I say? Most acrostics are downright boring, but this one isn't. Great artwork, scary theme. I especially liked the ghost stories in the author notes. I've never seen one (and I don't want to) but my husband says he has and friends have seen and heard things at the hospital where I used to work.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Wow, what can I say? Most acrostics are downright boring, but this one isn't. Great artwork, scary theme. I especially liked the ghost stories in the author notes. I've never seen one (and I don't want to) but my husband says he has and friends have seen and heard things at the hospital where I used to work.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Thanks, Nor. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read and review it.
~Dean
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a wonderful entry and meets the requirements with zest and passion as always. I enjoyed the notes as they enhanced the total package for me. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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This is a wonderful entry and meets the requirements with zest and passion as always. I enjoyed the notes as they enhanced the total package for me. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review it.
~Dean
Comment from Chikara
Sinister atmosphere and dark wordplay carry on your tale of a woman of black. It is smooth in exposure and finishes strongly.
The "H" line is relatively weak, as it feels forced because you are trying to rhyme the 'hear' and 'fear'.
The rest is fine work. I recommend lifting the poem a bit on your page because it bleeds into the vines below, becoming harder to see clearly; moving the words half an inch up or so would be good for presentation and readability.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Sinister atmosphere and dark wordplay carry on your tale of a woman of black. It is smooth in exposure and finishes strongly.
The "H" line is relatively weak, as it feels forced because you are trying to rhyme the 'hear' and 'fear'.
The rest is fine work. I recommend lifting the poem a bit on your page because it bleeds into the vines below, becoming harder to see clearly; moving the words half an inch up or so would be good for presentation and readability.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Thanks very much, Justthink, and I'll look into reformatting it. When a poem of this type requires editing, the entire thing has to be reworked as the poem is superimposed over the picture. It'll take a bit of time, but I'll get it.
Thanks again for your thoughtful suggestions and review. It's appreciated.
Comment from kittykatnoel
Excellent ghost story in a poem. Reads with good smooth flow, nice rhythm. In the author notes you still have, "the apparition of pale woman". I really enjoy the notes for other ghost stories of the area. Thank you for writing.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
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Excellent ghost story in a poem. Reads with good smooth flow, nice rhythm. In the author notes you still have, "the apparition of pale woman". I really enjoy the notes for other ghost stories of the area. Thank you for writing.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
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Thank you, Kitty, and I have made some changes based upon your suggestions. I hope it reads better for you now.
~Dean
Comment from Sasha
I am not usually a fan of acrostics but you may well have converted me. This is a marvelously eerie story in a poem that sent shivers up my spine. I have never seen a ghost and it is my life's ambition to keep it that way. Great entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best. Congratulations on your 4th place in the poetry ratings for 2014.
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I am not usually a fan of acrostics but you may well have converted me. This is a marvelously eerie story in a poem that sent shivers up my spine. I have never seen a ghost and it is my life's ambition to keep it that way. Great entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best. Congratulations on your 4th place in the poetry ratings for 2014.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
Comment from Genya
Alas, no sixes, so sorry my friend as this was a true six. A very well thought our acrostic telling a chilling story of revenge. Andrea Hope certainly got what she wanted and sent chills down my spine whilst doing so. Loved this. Only one little thing...nothing to do with your excellent talent, or your skill as a writer.... just I have bad eyes and found it a little hard to read on the coloured paper. As I say, guess no one else will have that same problem. Just can't find my glasses. Need them to find them if you know what I mean. Brilliant entry for this contest. Loved it. Also, thank you for the Authors notes which I found most enjoyable to read. Have a good day. Genya
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Alas, no sixes, so sorry my friend as this was a true six. A very well thought our acrostic telling a chilling story of revenge. Andrea Hope certainly got what she wanted and sent chills down my spine whilst doing so. Loved this. Only one little thing...nothing to do with your excellent talent, or your skill as a writer.... just I have bad eyes and found it a little hard to read on the coloured paper. As I say, guess no one else will have that same problem. Just can't find my glasses. Need them to find them if you know what I mean. Brilliant entry for this contest. Loved it. Also, thank you for the Authors notes which I found most enjoyable to read. Have a good day. Genya
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
Comment from emrpoems
Did you visit this house? I doubt you could restrain yourself from such a treat.
A great acrostic " Andrea's Ghost"
Solid rhyming couplets
Excellent enjambment
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Did you visit this house? I doubt you could restrain yourself from such a treat.
A great acrostic " Andrea's Ghost"
Solid rhyming couplets
Excellent enjambment
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~!
It's been a while since I read a horror poem, so I enjoyed this... Well 'enjoyed' sounds kinda weird here, so.. I liked it. More than the story or any other thing, I love it because it is an acrostic, and I seem to absolutely love acrostics! Oh, and, an always, marvelous presentation!
Great Job!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
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Hello there~!
It's been a while since I read a horror poem, so I enjoyed this... Well 'enjoyed' sounds kinda weird here, so.. I liked it. More than the story or any other thing, I love it because it is an acrostic, and I seem to absolutely love acrostics! Oh, and, an always, marvelous presentation!
Great Job!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Of course you deserve a six. Well, first let me tell you that this amazing cross-over from horror prose to poetry of exceptional calibre, is most disturbing. I am not at all sure whether you are being held hostage by one group of demons or expelled by another, but you continue to be a most impressive writer.
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Of course you deserve a six. Well, first let me tell you that this amazing cross-over from horror prose to poetry of exceptional calibre, is most disturbing. I am not at all sure whether you are being held hostage by one group of demons or expelled by another, but you continue to be a most impressive writer.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2015
