I Didn't Stand a Chance
a children's poem in rhyming couplets135 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. I can't remember a rhyme structure like this. It is almost as if the 'it' was silent. Yes, a laugh can hard to control and infectious. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Very interesting. I can't remember a rhyme structure like this. It is almost as if the 'it' was silent. Yes, a laugh can hard to control and infectious. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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thanks so much, Lancellot - I'm definitely not the one to invent it - rhyming phrases like date you/hate you, move it /prove it. Brooke :-)
Comment from acerisestory
What a fun poem, Brooke! The ending was sure a surprise. I was trying to imagine what "it" was.
I am assuming that your rhyme scheme is cd -- yes? I like the personification you gave that out-of-control laugh! It's a great picture of Sawyer. It's the first one I've seen in a while, by the way :)
Great job, my friend! Thank you for sharing. Alana
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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What a fun poem, Brooke! The ending was sure a surprise. I was trying to imagine what "it" was.
I am assuming that your rhyme scheme is cd -- yes? I like the personification you gave that out-of-control laugh! It's a great picture of Sawyer. It's the first one I've seen in a while, by the way :)
Great job, my friend! Thank you for sharing. Alana
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thanks Alana, the rhyme scheme is aabb rhyming couplets
:-) Brooke
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I'm not sure I understand, Brooke. Each of your stanzas has four lines, and I thought a couplet has only two lines. I'll bet that's something else I need to learn . . . ? Alana
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you can have two rhyming couplets in each quatrain, so a quatrain has a rhyming pattern like cat/hat/see/bee
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Thank you, my friend. A appreciate this poetry lesson :)
Comment from rod007
This piece captures the excitement of the constantly moving balls, holding an awesome excitement in the mind of a child so much so that his laugh is incessant. Great imagery and the picture adds that special touch. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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This piece captures the excitement of the constantly moving balls, holding an awesome excitement in the mind of a child so much so that his laugh is incessant. Great imagery and the picture adds that special touch. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much, rod :-) Brooke
Comment from Nosha17
Looks like your wee boy had a load of fun snapping at those balls. Great picture to complement your poem and excellent rhyming. A fun read. Faye
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Looks like your wee boy had a load of fun snapping at those balls. Great picture to complement your poem and excellent rhyming. A fun read. Faye
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Faye :-) Brooke
Comment from nancyjam
Delightful! So much fun Brooke, especially
paired with the darling pictures of Sawyer
laughing joyously, buried in balls.
Wonderful word usage appealing to children,
excellent rhyming-internal and end rhyme.
Snappy consistent meter, perfect for subject matter.
Just an all-around fun poem. I loved it. Nancy
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Delightful! So much fun Brooke, especially
paired with the darling pictures of Sawyer
laughing joyously, buried in balls.
Wonderful word usage appealing to children,
excellent rhyming-internal and end rhyme.
Snappy consistent meter, perfect for subject matter.
Just an all-around fun poem. I loved it. Nancy
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Nancy, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from LIJ Red
Kid's poem, yes, maybe. Rhyme and meter don't know much of age. The content is only part of the message. But, then, I
enjoy vintage comic books too.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Kid's poem, yes, maybe. Rhyme and meter don't know much of age. The content is only part of the message. But, then, I
enjoy vintage comic books too.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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LIJ, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
I so desperately wanted to give you a 6 for this but, alas, I am out. What a marvelous poem to go with your equally marvelous photo. Sawyer so so photogenic. Both the poem and picture made me also want to laugh.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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I so desperately wanted to give you a 6 for this but, alas, I am out. What a marvelous poem to go with your equally marvelous photo. Sawyer so so photogenic. Both the poem and picture made me also want to laugh.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Valerie, thank you so much, my generous, out-of-sixes friend :-) Brooke
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I just figured out it's Saturday...everyone, or almost everyone, is out of 6's.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another beautiful poem by the author in this piece of work. Sawyer is up to his tricks again and this is a great poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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This is yet another beautiful poem by the author in this piece of work. Sawyer is up to his tricks again and this is a great poem. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Tomes, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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My pleasure
Comment from RodG
I love the marvelous melody of this poem, Brooke, as you capture the festive atmosphere of balloons being blown up and taking over.
Wonderful internal rhymes in line 2. Almost onomatopoeia!
I also like how you characterize the Speaker who struggles to handle these balloons and winds up laughing.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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I love the marvelous melody of this poem, Brooke, as you capture the festive atmosphere of balloons being blown up and taking over.
Wonderful internal rhymes in line 2. Almost onomatopoeia!
I also like how you characterize the Speaker who struggles to handle these balloons and winds up laughing.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Rod, thank you so much for your thoughtful response to this poem :-)
Brooke
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent. Caught him at the right moment. He looks as if he is having a time.of his life. These little ones are something else. Enjoyed this one too, Brooke. Way ta go Sawyer.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Excellent. Caught him at the right moment. He looks as if he is having a time.of his life. These little ones are something else. Enjoyed this one too, Brooke. Way ta go Sawyer.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Ben, thank you so much :-) Brooke
