I Didn't Stand a Chance
a children's poem in rhyming couplets135 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great lines in this one Brooke - bog - drop or pop. A really fun read that makes us think we can almost hear Sawyer's laugh.Good fun read, love it,
valda
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Great lines in this one Brooke - bog - drop or pop. A really fun read that makes us think we can almost hear Sawyer's laugh.Good fun read, love it,
valda
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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thank you, Valda, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from N.K. Wagner
I like the bouncy rhythm here, Brooke, and all the possible ways of trapping or discouraging the impending laugh. Nope. No way to stop it, short of choking. Great poem. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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I like the bouncy rhythm here, Brooke, and all the possible ways of trapping or discouraging the impending laugh. Nope. No way to stop it, short of choking. Great poem. :) Nancy
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Nancy, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from mfowler
I think it's about time that someone wrote a poem about these plastic ball playpens that big stores love to provide for keeping small children occupied during shopping trips. Who better than, adewpearl? You capture the child's fascination and joy of romping and drowning in the balls. Loved:I felt it grow but couldn't stop it,
couldn't bop or drop or pop it - great assonance to give it rhythm.
Don't you feel like diving in?
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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I think it's about time that someone wrote a poem about these plastic ball playpens that big stores love to provide for keeping small children occupied during shopping trips. Who better than, adewpearl? You capture the child's fascination and joy of romping and drowning in the balls. Loved:I felt it grow but couldn't stop it,
couldn't bop or drop or pop it - great assonance to give it rhythm.
Don't you feel like diving in?
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Mark. When Sawyer's mom and uncle were little, we used to drive to Ikea just so they could play in the giant ball pit, even if I had no shopping to do. Now Sawyer loves the ball pit at his weekly My Gym class :-) Brooke
Comment from Sanku
Simply great!. As I was reading I was wondering what it could be, I thought of balloon bursting, but in the end it was his laughter .What carefree minds children have!only You could write such brilliant lines about a very ordinary occurence as a child chuckling.I laughed at the end in sheer delight .Thank you very much ,Brooke , your poems have lifted my spirits so many times and diverted my unhappy strains of thought.I wish I were not so far away ,otherwise i would have made a trip to meet you!Love-Santha.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Simply great!. As I was reading I was wondering what it could be, I thought of balloon bursting, but in the end it was his laughter .What carefree minds children have!only You could write such brilliant lines about a very ordinary occurence as a child chuckling.I laughed at the end in sheer delight .Thank you very much ,Brooke , your poems have lifted my spirits so many times and diverted my unhappy strains of thought.I wish I were not so far away ,otherwise i would have made a trip to meet you!Love-Santha.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Santha, thank you so much for your thoughtful and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Lovely well-written poem with an excellent rhyming scheme. Sawyer's such a great model and does the most inspiring things for your children's poems. I was kept in suspense till the very last line and I kept reading to find out what you couldn't stop or scare away.
Well done, Brooke!
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Lovely well-written poem with an excellent rhyming scheme. Sawyer's such a great model and does the most inspiring things for your children's poems. I was kept in suspense till the very last line and I kept reading to find out what you couldn't stop or scare away.
Well done, Brooke!
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Chi, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from ChelseaAnel
Brings forth the sounds and purity of a child's laughter. I enjoyed the journey and was left wanting the emotion of the actual laugh once it was freely released.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Brings forth the sounds and purity of a child's laughter. I enjoyed the journey and was left wanting the emotion of the actual laugh once it was freely released.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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ChelseaAnel, thank you so much for your generous response to my poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Glasstruth
Awesome! The enjambment, flow, and rhyming, especially the internal rhymes:
"I felt it grow but couldn't stop it,
couldn't bop or drop or pop it"
is as spontaneous as laughter. Don't know if that was your intent. Great! Les
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Awesome! The enjambment, flow, and rhyming, especially the internal rhymes:
"I felt it grow but couldn't stop it,
couldn't bop or drop or pop it"
is as spontaneous as laughter. Don't know if that was your intent. Great! Les
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Les, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from seaglass
This is such a cute poem about a child's delightful playtime. I never could understand what it is about the pit of plastic balls that tickle kids so much. Great rhyme and meter as always.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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This is such a cute poem about a child's delightful playtime. I never could understand what it is about the pit of plastic balls that tickle kids so much. Great rhyme and meter as always.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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seaglass, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from kiwisteveh
Delightful use of multiple rhyming makes this lots of fun for young children, especially line 2.
I like the way you build up the suspense too, is this a good or bad thing coming - you don't revel until the very last word.
And isn't this exactly like an irrepressible laugh?
Steve
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Delightful use of multiple rhyming makes this lots of fun for young children, especially line 2.
I like the way you build up the suspense too, is this a good or bad thing coming - you don't revel until the very last word.
And isn't this exactly like an irrepressible laugh?
Steve
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Steve, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from sibhus
This is such a fun poem and I liked the unexpected ending. I wasn't sure what I thought it would be I wasn't a laugh, but it fits so well. And the piecture of Sawyer in the ball pit is perfect for this. Good poem, Brooke.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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This is such a fun poem and I liked the unexpected ending. I wasn't sure what I thought it would be I wasn't a laugh, but it fits so well. And the piecture of Sawyer in the ball pit is perfect for this. Good poem, Brooke.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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sibhus, thank you so much :-) Brooke
