I Didn't Stand a Chance
a children's poem in rhyming couplets135 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Charming and delightful. Love the whimsy and the well timed rhyming with internal rhyme too. Superb bouncy beat to match the theme. Nice build up with a crescendo to the closing note of laughter. Great picture too. Hee hee.
I like your creative rhymes with IT, especially:
against it and fence it.
Path and laugh--great pair~
Lots of fine alliteration too.
Sounds great read aloud and makes one inclined to giggle along.
Bravo
Love,
rd
PS Just FYI on why I may not be reviewing much for a while: I'll not be as much active here for the next two weeks...will be traveling and busy. In December, I will continue reviewing as a standard member after my current membership expires--but not as much as before. You'll be one of the people I will still review, as long as you've kept your works open to standard reviews. Otherwise, feel free to stay in touch off site.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Charming and delightful. Love the whimsy and the well timed rhyming with internal rhyme too. Superb bouncy beat to match the theme. Nice build up with a crescendo to the closing note of laughter. Great picture too. Hee hee.
I like your creative rhymes with IT, especially:
against it and fence it.
Path and laugh--great pair~
Lots of fine alliteration too.
Sounds great read aloud and makes one inclined to giggle along.
Bravo
Love,
rd
PS Just FYI on why I may not be reviewing much for a while: I'll not be as much active here for the next two weeks...will be traveling and busy. In December, I will continue reviewing as a standard member after my current membership expires--but not as much as before. You'll be one of the people I will still review, as long as you've kept your works open to standard reviews. Otherwise, feel free to stay in touch off site.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, rama devi. Yes, I allow standard reviewers. I am happy you will still be able to read my work. I hope you have a safe journey and a fulfilling one :-) Brooke
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Thanks, dear. Blessings! rd :)
Comment from Eternal Muse
Brooke, this is such a fun composition! The visuals are astounding, and I feel it's I that is in the ball pit, lol. Delightful shots of Sawyer having the time of his life with these baloons.
A very joly work, I bet he is going to lilove it.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Brooke, this is such a fun composition! The visuals are astounding, and I feel it's I that is in the ball pit, lol. Delightful shots of Sawyer having the time of his life with these baloons.
A very joly work, I bet he is going to lilove it.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Yelena, thank you so much :-) so glad you enjoyed! Brooke
Comment from TOMORAL
Couldn't stop or drop or pop it, my laugh at this one. You always know how to start my day. I just read one of Sawyer's thoughts. Great picture of Sawyer in the ball pit. Great poetry, too.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Couldn't stop or drop or pop it, my laugh at this one. You always know how to start my day. I just read one of Sawyer's thoughts. Great picture of Sawyer in the ball pit. Great poetry, too.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much, Tomoral :-) Brooke
Comment from Allison78
This was so fun to read, especially with the photo! I've missed reading your poems, life just got away. Beautifully written poem!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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This was so fun to read, especially with the photo! I've missed reading your poems, life just got away. Beautifully written poem!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Allison, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from emjaihammond
This is such a delightful look at a child's laughter. It describes it beautifully. There is nothing more contagious than a little one who has the giggles. You write it like a story. Beautiful child too.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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This is such a delightful look at a child's laughter. It describes it beautifully. There is nothing more contagious than a little one who has the giggles. You write it like a story. Beautiful child too.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from padumachitta
Hi...an out of control smile, cute. The picture of the ball room..I admit I want one for us old people...I would smile and laugh if I could bury myself in balls and swim on the colourful sea of them.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Hi...an out of control smile, cute. The picture of the ball room..I admit I want one for us old people...I would smile and laugh if I could bury myself in balls and swim on the colourful sea of them.
padumachitta
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, padumachitta :-) Yes, the balls DO look inviting :-) Brooke
Comment from Caressa_08
Yes, Sawyer definitely found his laugh trigger with these, lightweight balls cascading down on Sawyer...And, his grandma's poem with expert photography catching all the fun...It was a very pleasant read.
Caressa
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Yes, Sawyer definitely found his laugh trigger with these, lightweight balls cascading down on Sawyer...And, his grandma's poem with expert photography catching all the fun...It was a very pleasant read.
Caressa
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Caressa, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Gargantuan2
It felt as though you had as much fun writing this one as he'd had in the pit. I never had a place like that growing up, but I did have a roller rink and a place to race tracked cars. Until next time, thanks for the happy thoughts :)
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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It felt as though you had as much fun writing this one as he'd had in the pit. I never had a place like that growing up, but I did have a roller rink and a place to race tracked cars. Until next time, thanks for the happy thoughts :)
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Gargantuan, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from CR Delport
Wow, the Cute Little One looked like he had a ball :) That must be one of the best inventions ever for a kid. This is another well crafted poem.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Wow, the Cute Little One looked like he had a ball :) That must be one of the best inventions ever for a kid. This is another well crafted poem.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, CR - he gets to play in this ball pit every Thursday during weekly my gym class - he loves it :-) Brooke
Comment from flamingstar
Oops, almost forgot this little treasure. Great topic! Love the suspense building from start to finish. I was so absorbed by the words that I didn't have a chance to guess where you were going!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Oops, almost forgot this little treasure. Great topic! Love the suspense building from start to finish. I was so absorbed by the words that I didn't have a chance to guess where you were going!
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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flamingstar, thank you so much :-) Brooke
