Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

It is hard for me to accept the concept of a feminine Sun and a masculine moon. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014

Thanks so much, Charlie :-) Brooke

reply by c_lucas on 05-Nov-2014

You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your presentation is amazing. I love the picture. The font color is the sun shining. The rhyme keeps the flow moving forward. I like the personification of the sun. Well done. One question: Should the word "extend" be "extended" as in " if she's extended her stay" ? Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed your poem.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2014

---

reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014

Thanks so much - I had a typo when I wrote she's extend, which was meant to read she'd extend - I appreciate your bringing this to my attention :-) Brooke

reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 02-Nov-2014

As you can see, that typo was minor in my eyes. Your poem was very good. I have many typos courtesy of cats walking on the keyboard.