Wilderness Encounter
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 12"A love story of two loners who meet by accident
2 total reviews
Comment from Dougie
By what I just read this seems to be a very interesting story. The women are obviously preparing for something and this, Viper, seems to be a dangerous enigma. I can't wait to know more of the story.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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By what I just read this seems to be a very interesting story. The women are obviously preparing for something and this, Viper, seems to be a dangerous enigma. I can't wait to know more of the story.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Dougie, Thank you for your very kind review. Oh, yes. They have a goal in mind. Do stop by again.
Comment from mmjg65
Okay, let's see...
Nothing wrong with your story, it's interesting and the characters are fairly well drawn. Pebbles determination is particularly well expressed. The story is well paced.
The narrative flow is interrupted in numerous places by punctuation errors and word substitutions. There are also some hitches in the flow of time, for instance you wrote: "as the sun makes its way above the horizon". And then the next sentence begins: "The quiet of night is soothing..."
All told, this feels and reads like a first or second draft. I think this piece would read a lot more smoothly with some more proofreading and editing. Keep on writing!
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Okay, let's see...
Nothing wrong with your story, it's interesting and the characters are fairly well drawn. Pebbles determination is particularly well expressed. The story is well paced.
The narrative flow is interrupted in numerous places by punctuation errors and word substitutions. There are also some hitches in the flow of time, for instance you wrote: "as the sun makes its way above the horizon". And then the next sentence begins: "The quiet of night is soothing..."
All told, this feels and reads like a first or second draft. I think this piece would read a lot more smoothly with some more proofreading and editing. Keep on writing!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your constructive review. All items mentioned will be addressed. Thank you for stopping by.
