Gone Forever
If it were only a coffee pot! ( Word count 785)13 total reviews
Comment from jim lawler
This is an easy enjoyable read; I think you meant that Marla lit a cigarette, not the pack; (a typo). Would it be better to simply state that: (the place was going to hell)? The paragraph that begins: (Now damn it) doesn't read too well; A personal observation. Otherwise this is very well written and descriptive account of memory loss. Another suggestion: I wouldn't have referred to the memory loss specifically as the short term memory. My wife has dementia and it has affected both long and short term memory. Good luck with your story. I enjoyed reading it; Jim
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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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This is an easy enjoyable read; I think you meant that Marla lit a cigarette, not the pack; (a typo). Would it be better to simply state that: (the place was going to hell)? The paragraph that begins: (Now damn it) doesn't read too well; A personal observation. Otherwise this is very well written and descriptive account of memory loss. Another suggestion: I wouldn't have referred to the memory loss specifically as the short term memory. My wife has dementia and it has affected both long and short term memory. Good luck with your story. I enjoyed reading it; Jim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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Thanks for the gracious review. appreciate the comments, made a couple of the changes.
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was beautifully written and very moving. I particularly loved 'A flood of memories drowning in a sea of sadness washed over her.' Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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I thought this was beautifully written and very moving. I particularly loved 'A flood of memories drowning in a sea of sadness washed over her.' Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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Thanks for the great review and the bonus star.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a very good story Dallas. This is a subject that haunts us seniors because we never know if it will be our fate. When you lose it you lose it. It is horrible to put someone you love in a nursing home. A well written story. Nancy
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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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This is a very good story Dallas. This is a subject that haunts us seniors because we never know if it will be our fate. When you lose it you lose it. It is horrible to put someone you love in a nursing home. A well written story. Nancy
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Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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Thanks for the great review. I was drawing on a personal experience.
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I'm sorry about that. My dad didn't speak to me after he was admitted. He blamed me, not my brother just me. He would spesk to me through whoever I was with. Sweet old guy I loved him so much. It finally got better.
