Gone Forever
If it were only a coffee pot! ( Word count 785)13 total reviews
Comment from Writingfundimension
This is an excellent contest entry, Dallas. I like the approach you took to this sensitive subject, especially in the reaction that Marla has at the end. Good luck with this well-written piece!
:) Bev
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
  |
This is an excellent contest entry, Dallas. I like the approach you took to this sensitive subject, especially in the reaction that Marla has at the end. Good luck with this well-written piece!
:) Bev
Comment Written 03-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
-
Thanks, Bev. Appreciate that, coming from one of the best on the site.
-
You're very welcome, Dallas. Well-deserved!
:)
Comment from Joan E.
I just saw a piece on television about assisted suicide--so I was prepared for your short story. I relished your description of the "morning sun swallowed the few remaining patches of fog" and your "escape hatch" metaphor. I hope neither of us will have to visit "Memory Lane" with a loved one! Best wishes in the flash fiction contest and have an unhaunted weekend- Joan
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
 |
I just saw a piece on television about assisted suicide--so I was prepared for your short story. I relished your description of the "morning sun swallowed the few remaining patches of fog" and your "escape hatch" metaphor. I hope neither of us will have to visit "Memory Lane" with a loved one! Best wishes in the flash fiction contest and have an unhaunted weekend- Joan
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
-
Thanks for reviewing. Happy Sunday.
Comment from nancyjam
This is a well written story and a good entry in the Flash Fiction
Contes.
I like the way you keep the reader in suspense in the beginning
of the story, although we could guess eventually she was having
to take her to a home.
I like the irony of the name.
Good luck in the story.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
|
This is a well written story and a good entry in the Flash Fiction
Contes.
I like the way you keep the reader in suspense in the beginning
of the story, although we could guess eventually she was having
to take her to a home.
I like the irony of the name.
Good luck in the story.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for reviewing. lad you liked it.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Superb job! It's a sad thing that our personal experiences can be used to authentically capture a character's dilemma, but you managed to do just that in a very well written story.
Great job!
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
|
Superb job! It's a sad thing that our personal experiences can be used to authentically capture a character's dilemma, but you managed to do just that in a very well written story.
Great job!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for reading and the bonus star.
Comment from c_lucas
When a loved one begins to lose their memory, it is a hard time for all. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
|
When a loved one begins to lose their memory, it is a hard time for all. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for reviewing.
-
You're welcome, Dallas. Charlie
Comment from adewpearl
Whose hiding things - Who's hiding
What a tragic time in the life of a family, when adult children have to come to terms with the fact that they have "lost" a beloved parent to dementia
Excellent dialogue and character development
Brooke
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
|
Whose hiding things - Who's hiding
What a tragic time in the life of a family, when adult children have to come to terms with the fact that they have "lost" a beloved parent to dementia
Excellent dialogue and character development
Brooke
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for the sharp eye. Corrected. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Spitfire
What a way to show not tell Alzheimer's has taken over. What an ironic name for the nursing home: Memory Lane. Wonderful choice of words to reinforce the situation: frayed, frail, shuffled, mumbling, soiled and so many more.
The environment even goes along with the sad moment:
The morning sun swallowed up the few remaining patches of fog.
Best of the luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
|
What a way to show not tell Alzheimer's has taken over. What an ironic name for the nursing home: Memory Lane. Wonderful choice of words to reinforce the situation: frayed, frail, shuffled, mumbling, soiled and so many more.
The environment even goes along with the sad moment:
The morning sun swallowed up the few remaining patches of fog.
Best of the luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for the great review. Unfortunately, I had some history to draw on.
Comment from tfawcus
Such a graphic account of dementia, that most insidious of conditions that steals our loved ones away from us. You capture with precision both the frustration and heartache of the daughter and the unaware state of the mother. A story told well enough to leave your readers with a touch of moisture in the corner of the eye.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
|
Such a graphic account of dementia, that most insidious of conditions that steals our loved ones away from us. You capture with precision both the frustration and heartache of the daughter and the unaware state of the mother. A story told well enough to leave your readers with a touch of moisture in the corner of the eye.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
-
Thanks, Tony. Unfortunately. I had history to draw on.
Comment from dennis0530
Though we are all afraid of losing our memory, maybe we could soften it a little by accepting that it is a possibility while we still have full faculties. If nothing at all can be done about it, we can just assist the sufferer.
On one side, memory loss, though scary for the caregivers might be a "normal" state for the patients. It is not much different from a person who has memory intact but cannot do simple everyday tasks.
Unless the sufferer becomes violent, what is needed most is guardianship and watchfulness.
A small glitch for correction.
"the correct spelling is "seetee"
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
|
Though we are all afraid of losing our memory, maybe we could soften it a little by accepting that it is a possibility while we still have full faculties. If nothing at all can be done about it, we can just assist the sufferer.
On one side, memory loss, though scary for the caregivers might be a "normal" state for the patients. It is not much different from a person who has memory intact but cannot do simple everyday tasks.
Unless the sufferer becomes violent, what is needed most is guardianship and watchfulness.
A small glitch for correction.
"the correct spelling is "seetee"
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for heads up. Looked it up and says settee. Correcting now. That is a good idea, I like it. Trying to accept it without so much fear.
Comment from sibhus
Some really good descriptions and details, that really describe someone with dementia. I have seen it several times and you have acuately caught the pain and frustration of family members with this well written piece of flash. This makes for a great entry to the contest, and good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
|
Some really good descriptions and details, that really describe someone with dementia. I have seen it several times and you have acuately caught the pain and frustration of family members with this well written piece of flash. This makes for a great entry to the contest, and good luck.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for reviewing.
