One Too Many
A drunken mouse learns a lesson27 total reviews
Comment from RYME4U
Very delightful to read all the way through. I love the characterization and the descriptive phrases. Th rhyme and rhythm and the artwork add to the meaning of your poem. Great job!!!
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Very delightful to read all the way through. I love the characterization and the descriptive phrases. Th rhyme and rhythm and the artwork add to the meaning of your poem. Great job!!!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
Comment from ravenblack
Mice need to stick to cheese. Leave the drinking to the cats- a higher tolerance and a drunk cat is not so good at catching mice. I know it is for the sake of the rhyme, but "wrung like a cellphone" seems forced. Wrung is also not correct as it means to twist or compress. Rang is the only past tense of ring.
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Mice need to stick to cheese. Leave the drinking to the cats- a higher tolerance and a drunk cat is not so good at catching mice. I know it is for the sake of the rhyme, but "wrung like a cellphone" seems forced. Wrung is also not correct as it means to twist or compress. Rang is the only past tense of ring.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
Comment from bob cullen
What a delightful poem. And it certainly did bring a smile to my face.
I loved the rhyme and the story. Most of all I loved their party lifestyle, free booze and leftovers. My type of diet
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What a delightful poem. And it certainly did bring a smile to my face.
I loved the rhyme and the story. Most of all I loved their party lifestyle, free booze and leftovers. My type of diet
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
Comment from Dawny53
This an adorable story, your imagination really took flight on this one! Imagine, mice living it up this way! It was a delight to read, I thought it was really very cute!
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This an adorable story, your imagination really took flight on this one! Imagine, mice living it up this way! It was a delight to read, I thought it was really very cute!
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
Comment from mikemagine
Classic!! Thanks for sharing! I drink Opium-based Kool-Aid with Jack Daniel's chasers! Nothing beats that, let me tell you!!
Thanks again,
Mike
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Classic!! Thanks for sharing! I drink Opium-based Kool-Aid with Jack Daniel's chasers! Nothing beats that, let me tell you!!
Thanks again,
Mike
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
Comment from livelylinda
Author: just what I love, creativity, originality, a fresh look at something. You have done it all, made me giggle. Your words placed me in the restaurant and I was able to watch the goings-on. Very nice and fun work. Good luck in the contest. livelylinda
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Author: just what I love, creativity, originality, a fresh look at something. You have done it all, made me giggle. Your words placed me in the restaurant and I was able to watch the goings-on. Very nice and fun work. Good luck in the contest. livelylinda
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
Comment from Ben Colder
I laugh self silly. I can see them now, reminds me of Tom and Jerry Cartoon. Now they are a mess. Good funny poem. Hope you win the thing.
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I laugh self silly. I can see them now, reminds me of Tom and Jerry Cartoon. Now they are a mess. Good funny poem. Hope you win the thing.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
Comment from Zue65
I really admire poets who can inject laughter in their poetry as you did in this poem. I really don't have the gift to conjure up giggles among my readers. I guess I am not cut for it. My hats off to you for making me laugh. God bless.
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I really admire poets who can inject laughter in their poetry as you did in this poem. I really don't have the gift to conjure up giggles among my readers. I guess I am not cut for it. My hats off to you for making me laugh. God bless.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very humorous read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very humorous read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
Comment from NurseBarb
Well deserved six stars. You have nailed it as far as paying attention to what the prompt asked for. That is making the reader laugh. This is funny, cute, and also reminds me a little of the movie "Ratatouille" which is one of my favorite animated movies. I wish you all the luck in this contest. Great job!
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Well deserved six stars. You have nailed it as far as paying attention to what the prompt asked for. That is making the reader laugh. This is funny, cute, and also reminds me a little of the movie "Ratatouille" which is one of my favorite animated movies. I wish you all the luck in this contest. Great job!
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
