One Too Many
A drunken mouse learns a lesson27 total reviews
Comment from Caressa_08
This seems, to me, to be the best of the bunch, & think it might win..After reading the others....Quite the imaginary tale here, & very well written on how mice might react, when there's alcohol for them to sip.....Though, think if they get too much booze, I guess they can get a little tipsy or even worse, just like adults.
Caressa
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This seems, to me, to be the best of the bunch, & think it might win..After reading the others....Quite the imaginary tale here, & very well written on how mice might react, when there's alcohol for them to sip.....Though, think if they get too much booze, I guess they can get a little tipsy or even worse, just like adults.
Caressa
Comment Written 03-Nov-2014
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely. You deliver a lovely tale of two mice who seemed to have realized gluttony can be quite a vice. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
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This meets the contest requirements nicely. You deliver a lovely tale of two mice who seemed to have realized gluttony can be quite a vice. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
Comment from James Dooney
Nice one ! Looks like the little mouseys got on the beans huh !! a humourous work this is indeed. Glad to see they survived ! well done !
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Nice one ! Looks like the little mouseys got on the beans huh !! a humourous work this is indeed. Glad to see they survived ! well done !
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
Comment from amahra
I loved the cute art work. I thought the poem was fun reading and it was very well written and had very good rhyming. However, you forgot to say: "No real mice were actually hurt during the writing of this poem." LOL!
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I loved the cute art work. I thought the poem was fun reading and it was very well written and had very good rhyming. However, you forgot to say: "No real mice were actually hurt during the writing of this poem." LOL!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from PatVallesMangan
This is a delightful poem that fits the prompt very nicely. It certainly does bring you a picture that makes you laugh. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect to enhance this very cute poem. Good luck in the contest. I really think you have a great chance. Blessings! Pat
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This is a delightful poem that fits the prompt very nicely. It certainly does bring you a picture that makes you laugh. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect to enhance this very cute poem. Good luck in the contest. I really think you have a great chance. Blessings! Pat
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from Louise Michelle
LOL - this is so delightful! Every stanza is cute/funny and so much fun to read. You showed so much creativity in writing this original tale about drunken mice. Well done. Hugs, Lou
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LOL - this is so delightful! Every stanza is cute/funny and so much fun to read. You showed so much creativity in writing this original tale about drunken mice. Well done. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from Eric1
This is a very well written poem for this particular competition my friend, I am still laughing at the mouse climbing the jeaned leg in a drunken stupor, good luck with his brilliant entry .
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This is a very well written poem for this particular competition my friend, I am still laughing at the mouse climbing the jeaned leg in a drunken stupor, good luck with his brilliant entry .
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from tfawcus
This sure upstages Beatrix Potter's Tale of the Two Bad Mice. What a mouth-watering array of cheeses you have laid out in your poem! Enough to bring out the mouse in any man! The image of a drunken mouse creating havoc at a party is hilarious!
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This sure upstages Beatrix Potter's Tale of the Two Bad Mice. What a mouth-watering array of cheeses you have laid out in your poem! Enough to bring out the mouse in any man! The image of a drunken mouse creating havoc at a party is hilarious!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
Comment from MaggieMcCall
I love this! It really made me smile. This is extremely creative and I'm so impressive that you managed to keep it so fun while sticking to a strict rhyme scheme. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Maggie
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I love this! It really made me smile. This is extremely creative and I'm so impressive that you managed to keep it so fun while sticking to a strict rhyme scheme. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Maggie
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of abcb rhyming
good alliteration in phrases like classic cuisine and lesson learned
good internal rhyme in skipping and tripping
a fun story line that indeed did make me laugh
Brooke
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excellent use of abcb rhyming
good alliteration in phrases like classic cuisine and lesson learned
good internal rhyme in skipping and tripping
a fun story line that indeed did make me laugh
Brooke
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
