Excuse me mister monster.
A child scared of the closet monster.97 total reviews
Comment from GWinterwin
Good poem with a good picture to make it all seem real. Good word flow and rhyming make it even better. Yes the fear of a little one, to them is very real.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Good poem with a good picture to make it all seem real. Good word flow and rhyming make it even better. Yes the fear of a little one, to them is very real.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you GW for this wonderful review. God bless!
Comment from cupa tea
I love it! The image goes so well with the poem. It does indeed make you feel as you did when you were a child yourself if you were scared of monsters in the closet...The wording is perfect...good luck with the contest....
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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I love it! The image goes so well with the poem. It does indeed make you feel as you did when you were a child yourself if you were scared of monsters in the closet...The wording is perfect...good luck with the contest....
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you cupa tea for this most inspiring review. God bless!
Comment from michael mcintosh
The poem mister monster is cute and truly incredible
thought out well.A perfect poem for most small kids
that imagine their is a monster with in their room.
Like my little grand son.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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The poem mister monster is cute and truly incredible
thought out well.A perfect poem for most small kids
that imagine their is a monster with in their room.
Like my little grand son.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Hopefully your grand son can come to terms with his fear and send that monster packing. Thank you for the exceptional review and amazing six stars. God bless!
Comment from SimplyaStudent
A fun tale that reminds me of similiar fears when i was around that age. The poem flows well and was enjoyaboe to read. The artwork was fitting for the piece as well. :-)SS
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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A fun tale that reminds me of similiar fears when i was around that age. The poem flows well and was enjoyaboe to read. The artwork was fitting for the piece as well. :-)SS
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you SimplyaStudent for this inspiring review. God bless!
Comment from evilynne
I think this is a great poem and am glad it alleviated the child's fears. I think we all have our closet monsters! Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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I think this is a great poem and am glad it alleviated the child's fears. I think we all have our closet monsters! Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you Evilynne and yes we do all have our Monsters to deal with, it's how we choose to do so is the kicker. Thank you for the incredible six star rating, I am honored that you enjoyed this piece so. God bless!
Comment from Ekim777
A beautiful poem telling us more that about a child's fear of his monsters but of his learning to cope with his consciousness, his moral sense and later will come his combat with his sense of guilt. A fellow poet mentioned to me that children might desire to confront their fears whereas adults are frightened of them of fear becomes tied to guilt. I have long forgotten how to embrace my fears. Your second verse shows us up, we adults. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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A beautiful poem telling us more that about a child's fear of his monsters but of his learning to cope with his consciousness, his moral sense and later will come his combat with his sense of guilt. A fellow poet mentioned to me that children might desire to confront their fears whereas adults are frightened of them of fear becomes tied to guilt. I have long forgotten how to embrace my fears. Your second verse shows us up, we adults. -Ekim777
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you Ekim for the most inspiring of reviews with a generous star count. Wise poet you spoke with about fear and whether we face them or choose to hide from them. I agree that most of us hide instead of facing them. God bless!
Comment from Michaelk
Absolutely fantastic! You got my last six star for the week. I loved this poem on many levels. Failing to capitalize on some of the lines only adds to the feel that it really is a little kid writing it. When he wrote that the monster is in big trouble because he wrote Jesus, I nearly split my side. That was simply hilarious. Your rhythm and rhyme were great, and the poem flowed very well. Your descriptions also shined. I could visualize him kneeling at his bedside, peeking over at the closet door which was open just a crack.
Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Absolutely fantastic! You got my last six star for the week. I loved this poem on many levels. Failing to capitalize on some of the lines only adds to the feel that it really is a little kid writing it. When he wrote that the monster is in big trouble because he wrote Jesus, I nearly split my side. That was simply hilarious. Your rhythm and rhyme were great, and the poem flowed very well. Your descriptions also shined. I could visualize him kneeling at his bedside, peeking over at the closet door which was open just a crack.
Excellent poem.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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MichaelK, I want to thank you for this most inspiring review and I am honored that you have enjoyed this piece to the point of offering the most illusive six stars. I am so blessed to have found this site for the folks here educational as well as inspirational. God bless!
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No problem at all. I have a feeling that six stars will not elude you much longer. Great poem.
Comment from bob cullen
The rhyming is magical and the message is great especially on this Halloween eve.
I read this to my seven year old grandson, he's visiting us from the US so he understands Halloween.
He told me it was a really good poem. When I asked him how many stars I should award, he said ten. Sorry I couldn't afford that many.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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The rhyming is magical and the message is great especially on this Halloween eve.
I read this to my seven year old grandson, he's visiting us from the US so he understands Halloween.
He told me it was a really good poem. When I asked him how many stars I should award, he said ten. Sorry I couldn't afford that many.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Bob, thank you so much for this all inspiring review and the fact that your Grandson wanted to give it a ten just warms my heart. God bless!
Comment from kiwisteveh
A very appropriate response to the prompt as you present the child's point of view well.
Your piece started with a very strong rhythm although this fell away to some extent later in the poem.
The abcb rhyming is strong and the language suitable for a child.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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A very appropriate response to the prompt as you present the child's point of view well.
Your piece started with a very strong rhythm although this fell away to some extent later in the poem.
The abcb rhyming is strong and the language suitable for a child.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you Steve for the awesome review and generous stars. I am still fairly new at this whole poetry thing and would appreciate it very much if you would elaborate just a bit on the rhythm part. I strive to improve on a daily basis and think I have done very well in the haiku division but I want to expand and grow in all areas. Thank you again and God bless!
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I'll give it a go, but it quickly becomes complicated. If you can afford it, try one of the beginners' poetry classes or go looking online for some basic tutorials on 'meter'
Rhythm (or meter) is optional, but I find that when a poem starts off with a regular meter, it is distracting when it changes to something else.
In your case, the first stanza has a strong iambic meter. That means the pattern goes dee-DUM, dee-DUM (unstressed syllable followed by stressed syllable)
exCUSE me MISter MONster
beHIND my CLOset DOOR
After that, though, your stressed and unstressed syllables become more random, so in the second stanza you start with stressed MOM
You still have a basic iambic rhythm but in places you break it by putting twi stressed syllables together which comes as a shock to the ear which is expecting the iambic pattern by now e.g. THOSE BIGger
Hope this is some help.
Steve
Comment from DR DIP
Cute little poem for a child I must say!
thankyou for sharing AND maybe ridding the monster phobia from many closets in many kids bedrooms!
dip
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Cute little poem for a child I must say!
thankyou for sharing AND maybe ridding the monster phobia from many closets in many kids bedrooms!
dip
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you DR DIP for the awesome review and generous stars. I always enjoy your comments. God bless!
