Sand Creek - Lest we forget
This is personal, but you should know47 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
I see why you won this competition, Ben.
You've chosen a genre about which you have passion and vast reserves of knowledge. You choose the Point of View of the Indian woman pictured and stay with this throughout the narrative. As a storyteller, I know you are aware how powerful this is in being authentic and allowing the reader into the emotion and thoughts of the character. Here, the tale is tragic as she witnesses, intuits the massacre coming and present. Your lines are full of strong verbs which give the action and outcomes extra power. The Biblical postscript is apt and confronting. Fine work. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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I see why you won this competition, Ben.
You've chosen a genre about which you have passion and vast reserves of knowledge. You choose the Point of View of the Indian woman pictured and stay with this throughout the narrative. As a storyteller, I know you are aware how powerful this is in being authentic and allowing the reader into the emotion and thoughts of the character. Here, the tale is tragic as she witnesses, intuits the massacre coming and present. Your lines are full of strong verbs which give the action and outcomes extra power. The Biblical postscript is apt and confronting. Fine work. Congratulations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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I am deeply honored to have receive your review, a write I consider one of the best on Fan Story. My blessings to you. The woman is Cheyenne, I am Choctaw, we are the same in spirit. Again, thank you.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Just another true accounting of some of the atrocities White settlers committed against Native Americans when they stole their lands away from them. Well written poem. Easy to see why it won the contest and is an All-Time Best achiever.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Just another true accounting of some of the atrocities White settlers committed against Native Americans when they stole their lands away from them. Well written poem. Easy to see why it won the contest and is an All-Time Best achiever.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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She is Cheyenne, I am Choctaw, but we are the same. Endured the same, treated the same. Thank you for your kind review. The poem inspired a novel about my Grandmother, "Silent Hand of God," now in the hands of a New York publisher waiting to be published. My blessings to you.
Comment from write hand blue
A poignant reminder of the atrocities that were perpetrated while the Wild West was conquered. But was it ever? It seems that the bullet is still regarded as the answer to all your problems over there.
I get the impression you may be a native American. When I get time I may read more of your work.
Pity about the religious content, this takes something away from the writing about this atrocity. Though of course you will not agree... I'm agnostic in my beliefs.
:) mel.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2014
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A poignant reminder of the atrocities that were perpetrated while the Wild West was conquered. But was it ever? It seems that the bullet is still regarded as the answer to all your problems over there.
I get the impression you may be a native American. When I get time I may read more of your work.
Pity about the religious content, this takes something away from the writing about this atrocity. Though of course you will not agree... I'm agnostic in my beliefs.
:) mel.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2014
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I am a native America of the Choctaw descendent. All of us so-called savages know there is a God. Thank you much for your kind review. I do not condem anyone for their beleifs, it is yours, ours is ours.
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Thank you for your reply. Any thinking person not of your country, regards the invaders that stole your land to be the 'savages'. Especially because in the last generation there has been much written about the subject.
I do take a balanced view on religion, this is just my view of course.
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I am 76 and have lived among many tribes and if my creator allows another year, I shall always uphold the remark in question, who are the savages?
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You sound as if you have had an interesting life. I'm 66 may we have many years ahead of us...
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It has been real and it has been fun, but not real fun. An old vet , who has come to trust God, my creator, for all things. My blessing to you and for many more years.
Comment from Ric Myworld
New to poetry and its many styles and structures, I am forced to trust my ears and eyes to find what touches me and draws my senses to learn. Thanks for another great read. :-)
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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New to poetry and its many styles and structures, I am forced to trust my ears and eyes to find what touches me and draws my senses to learn. Thanks for another great read. :-)
Comment Written 06-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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I am just learning a couple ways of writing poetry. Free verse is easy ,so is 5-7-5. The poem tied for first place. Thank you much for your kind review.
Comment from trimple
The beasts that roam this beautiful earth, have never been animal. The term used to describe man's unkindness is a derogatory one, aimed toward a far gentler species.
Few animals go about killing unless for food, or protecting their young.
A superb story poem that brings home the reality of selfishness.
I hang my head in shame.
trimple
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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The beasts that roam this beautiful earth, have never been animal. The term used to describe man's unkindness is a derogatory one, aimed toward a far gentler species.
Few animals go about killing unless for food, or protecting their young.
A superb story poem that brings home the reality of selfishness.
I hang my head in shame.
trimple
Comment Written 05-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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From the beginning of time for mankind, Folly struggles for superiority.However, God, being the Spirit of Wisdom is known to slowly consume its existence. Takes a awhile, light always consumes darkness. Only the wise feel the shame. Thank you for an excellent and rewarding review. Shalom.
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Ah! hello there, Ben.
I don't believe that there is such a thing as God, Ben. But I do believe in the power of understanding my fellow man.
We both hit the jackpot I see...
Congratulations!
:)
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So sad. You will someday.
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Sorry, Ben. I live in England, and I guess the churches here are pretty empty these days.
I think the idea of a supreme being that can reign terror upon you for thought crime, in an insane notion.
I respect others that do, but not for me, my friend.
warm regards
trimple :)
Comment from boxergirl
What a powerful poem about an historical event that should shame us for the way we treated the American Indians. I know there are two sides to every story but I believe we were only given one side in the past. Nice imagery with this ABCB rhyme scheme.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
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What a powerful poem about an historical event that should shame us for the way we treated the American Indians. I know there are two sides to every story but I believe we were only given one side in the past. Nice imagery with this ABCB rhyme scheme.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
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All my people wasnted to do was to defend their country with what weaponry they had. Much like America will be doing against ISSA and other yet to come. Glad you like it. Sad time for America. Where have you been? Missed you.
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My "retirement" has been keeping me busy. lol
I have been trying to keep up with my reviews but have missed some.
Comment from singmore
Beautiful photograph of the lady. I would appreciate your having stated some information about it.
This is such an important subject, and I salute you for writing about it. The first line is particularly effective and draws the reader in. As a poem, isn't it somewhere between "free verse" and a particular structure? Something about some of the lines suggests they "fall between two stools," as the saying is.
Thank you very much for writing this and for highlighting it by putting in the history buff contest.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
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Beautiful photograph of the lady. I would appreciate your having stated some information about it.
This is such an important subject, and I salute you for writing about it. The first line is particularly effective and draws the reader in. As a poem, isn't it somewhere between "free verse" and a particular structure? Something about some of the lines suggests they "fall between two stools," as the saying is.
Thank you very much for writing this and for highlighting it by putting in the history buff contest.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2014
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The photo represents all of those who were massacred that morning. Thank you much for a most interesting review. Blessings to you.
Comment from beside still waters
This is sad. When I think of America's history, one of the saddest things is how cruel the white man has been, both to the Indians and the Blacks... You have correctly captured the hopelessness of her situation...
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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This is sad. When I think of America's history, one of the saddest things is how cruel the white man has been, both to the Indians and the Blacks... You have correctly captured the hopelessness of her situation...
Comment Written 04-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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My deepest appreciation for your interesting review.
Comment from wiljacro
HI! I have read quite a few tales about the atrocities carried out on innocent groups of true Americans by the US cavalry, and your description of this one ranks with some of the worst, I sincerely hope that the pending investigation brings about some sort of restitution to the tribe that was so dishonoured by the sadistic Chivington and his troupe! Thanks for sharing this I hope your readers take this crime to heart and add their thoughts to the enquiry. wiljacro.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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HI! I have read quite a few tales about the atrocities carried out on innocent groups of true Americans by the US cavalry, and your description of this one ranks with some of the worst, I sincerely hope that the pending investigation brings about some sort of restitution to the tribe that was so dishonoured by the sadistic Chivington and his troupe! Thanks for sharing this I hope your readers take this crime to heart and add their thoughts to the enquiry. wiljacro.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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I appreciate your most intelligent review and its rating. I have had several wonderful comments toward this contest piece. Many thanks
Comment from royowen
It's atrocious what we colonialists have done to the native peoples of various occupied lands have don, we have to bow our heads in shame for these these terrible deeds, committed in the name of civilisation and sometimes the name of God! Daniel, a righteous man, declared to God
"We have sinned and committed iniquity against you..." Daniel 9:5, including himself, great free verse, although it reads a little like a rhythmic poem, beautifully written, well said, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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It's atrocious what we colonialists have done to the native peoples of various occupied lands have don, we have to bow our heads in shame for these these terrible deeds, committed in the name of civilisation and sometimes the name of God! Daniel, a righteous man, declared to God
"We have sinned and committed iniquity against you..." Daniel 9:5, including himself, great free verse, although it reads a little like a rhythmic poem, beautifully written, well said, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review. Blessings to you.
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Most welcome, Roy.
