haiku (crumpled oak leaves)
Changes64 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
excellent haiku with a clear seasonal reference and great satori line. Alliteration with crumpled and cover.
An interesting image in the first two lines. I welcome the sweater weather after all the heat of summer.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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excellent haiku with a clear seasonal reference and great satori line. Alliteration with crumpled and cover.
An interesting image in the first two lines. I welcome the sweater weather after all the heat of summer.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thanks for your review for my haiku, Shari. I appreciate your comments and I love sweat her weather, too.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from mermaids
The last line sweater weather reflects the change in the seasons and the change in us. You poetic form captures a clear picture of the Fall season moving along and coming to an end. Excellent use of words.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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The last line sweater weather reflects the change in the seasons and the change in us. You poetic form captures a clear picture of the Fall season moving along and coming to an end. Excellent use of words.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your kind review for my haiku, mermaids, and your comments are appreciated very much. I'm pleased you caught the AHA line was meant for both the garden and for us.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from judiverse
We're definitely approaching sweater weather, and the yard is really covered with leaves. I like the description of crumpled oak leaves. A rather sad picture of the lifeless flower garden. All the good things of summer and fall are at an end. Excellent job of conveying feeling about the coming winter. judi
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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We're definitely approaching sweater weather, and the yard is really covered with leaves. I like the description of crumpled oak leaves. A rather sad picture of the lifeless flower garden. All the good things of summer and fall are at an end. Excellent job of conveying feeling about the coming winter. judi
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Judi, for this excellent review for my haiku. Autumn is such an amazing season. Hints of summer some days and such beautiful scenes all,around. I appreciate your comments.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from Nosha17
It is like Nature's warning when the leaves fall, it is time for us to change our ideas, too and dress warmer. Well chosen words and imagery. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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It is like Nature's warning when the leaves fall, it is time for us to change our ideas, too and dress warmer. Well chosen words and imagery. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you,Faye, for your excellent review and for taking the time to share your comments. I appreciate your understanding of the AHA line and thanks for the good luck wish in the Contest.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from Ninap2
This creates the ultimate fall feeling. The thought of a lifeless garden covered in leaves - sweater weather - perfect. Thank you for sharing. -Nina
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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This creates the ultimate fall feeling. The thought of a lifeless garden covered in leaves - sweater weather - perfect. Thank you for sharing. -Nina
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you for taking the time to read my haiku, Nina, and for your very kind review and comments.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from krys123
Karyn;
The imagery is very descriptive and indeed exquisitely expressive in your first two lines that are also very interconnected. I could visualize deal leads being crumbled
And lying on a lifeless garden the definitely is taken fall into consideration. If third line is fun and is closely related to a rhyme but for me at a really see it. In your third line sums up your poem or haiku very well
. Good luck in the contest and may the Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Karyn;
The imagery is very descriptive and indeed exquisitely expressive in your first two lines that are also very interconnected. I could visualize deal leads being crumbled
And lying on a lifeless garden the definitely is taken fall into consideration. If third line is fun and is closely related to a rhyme but for me at a really see it. In your third line sums up your poem or haiku very well
. Good luck in the contest and may the Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Alex, for your wonderful review for my haiku. I appreciate your kind comments and understanding of the poem. Your reviews are always a delight to read. Thanks for the good luck wish for the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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You are so sincerely welcome Karyn.
Alex
Comment from sgalletti
Very fun haiku Kar! Love the concrete imagery in the first two lines. Definitely evokes fall. And the play on words in the satori is very creative. Just enough poetic devices (alliteration and rhyming words in the last line) to add interest without overpowering the aha of the haiku. Good luck! Sue
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Very fun haiku Kar! Love the concrete imagery in the first two lines. Definitely evokes fall. And the play on words in the satori is very creative. Just enough poetic devices (alliteration and rhyming words in the last line) to add interest without overpowering the aha of the haiku. Good luck! Sue
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much for your very kind review and comments for my haiku, Sue. Thank you for taking the time to read the poem and share your thoughts. I appreciate your kind good wishes for the contest, too.
Smiles,
Karyn:-)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely. The imagery is simple yet poignant and the satori provides a stellar finish. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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This meets the contest requirements nicely. The imagery is simple yet poignant and the satori provides a stellar finish. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you, mystic angel, for reading my haiku and for your very kind review. I appreciate your taking the time to share your comments, and thanks for your good luck wish.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from Dawny53
An excellent entry.. sweater weather is the perfect ending for this little haiku, your words are all very descriptive, I actually picture myself walking through a leaf strewn garden.. well done
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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An excellent entry.. sweater weather is the perfect ending for this little haiku, your words are all very descriptive, I actually picture myself walking through a leaf strewn garden.. well done
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you for this great review, Dawn. I'm glad you enjoyed the haiku, and I appreciate your kind comments and for taking the time to read.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Acquired Taste
Terrific haiku - very visual - can almost hear a breeze push along one of the leaves - thus opening the sweater just a bit. Nicely penned. AT=/
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Terrific haiku - very visual - can almost hear a breeze push along one of the leaves - thus opening the sweater just a bit. Nicely penned. AT=/
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Acquired Taste, for your great review for my haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. I'm so pleased you enjoyed the poem, and thanks for your kind response.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
