Comment from gypsymoth

Excellent

Well done. You evident ally have some military backround.
Towards the very end I think you got tired of typing. Start checking from around 8 para. up from the bottom.
Cortez says, "I'll soon be free, kill each one of(your)(you)..and (their)(your)families...and there is nothing you
can(do)about it...pointing it at Cortez(') head..."Damn how the hell (am)I going to clean...Thank you(sire)(sir)
Gypsymoth

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014

Thank your, gypsymoth, for your kind and informative review. I look forward to making the suggested changes.

Comment from lindalcreel

Excellent

Looks like they got their guy and he won't be bothering them for awhile. although, I think he may have friends who will want to avenge him. The one thing I noticed was that you used a lot of proper names in the post when there was only two characters in the scene. If they are alone, you don't have to call them by name each time; it would seem more like a normal conversation if you left the names out and maybe used speech tags occasionally instead. Great plot.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014

Thank you for your constructive review. I will address the 'proper name' situation. Thank you. Do stop by again.

reply by lindalcreel on 29-Oct-2014

It's a pleasure to read your work. I try to pass on information I received from other writers on this site.