Reviews from

haiku (virgin sands give birth)

Contest entry (5-7-5)

80 total reviews 
Comment from MissMerri
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What a clever haiku! I had to wonder where you found such a perfect picture to go with your poem. I would love to find such an island as this and land there with my laptop and a boatload of food and water. (A wild fantasy I return to when I have endless streams of house guests.) no matter... The wee hours of the morning serve as my small uninhibited island. But this is a most appealing haiku you've written and very clever. I hope it does well in the contest. Good luck!

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you MissMerri, I found this pic on the internet under island pics. There were so many beauties to choose from but this one stole my heart. I feel the same as you about the wee hours being my sanctuary, this is when get the most writing done.
    The poles are open for voting if you desire to do so.
    God Bless!
reply by MissMerri on 27-Oct-2014
    I did care to do so, and did vote for what appears to be the winner! I'm good at picking 'em. My comment was the one saying "Loved this one!" You're welcome! ;p
Comment from mikemagine
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Abundant life is offered to all. Purity, too, is offered to all. Pure and holy living is the only true living, and deep in our hearts - very deep - we indeed know this. When we live a holy, spiritual life, we're reborn and our trespasses are forgiven.

Most people of this world, however, somehow keep overlooking this truth and proceed toward destruction, not really knowing that they're truly on that path to ruination.

We have the power of choice. Many have said it's our greatest power. May it be that the goodness in many grows strong and helps repair the horrible damage done to this world, primarily the damage and hurt done to people who're created by God. We really can change for the better!

Peace,

Mike

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you Mike for the most inspiring of reviews. I have been somewhat on the right path throughout my youth, but as I have reached the midway point in my life, I find my choices leaning farther away from the dark side. I offer a God Bless to all I come in contact with on a daily basis no matter their nationality. I find it most enjoyable when someone I wouldn't think of as a Christian blesses me back.
    Thank you again Mike and the poles are open if you care to vote.
    God Bless!
reply by mikemagine on 27-Oct-2014
    Gladly, my friend. Sounds to me like you're doing fine in your daily life. You sound like a pure and good-hearted person.

    And yes, I will vote for your story.

    Mike
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you Mike, I do try inspire folks near me to do the right things all of the time.
    God Bless!
reply by mikemagine on 27-Oct-2014
    :-)
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
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This is a good haiku following all the required rules and producing an interesting read. Two good interconnecting lines followed by a clever satori. Good suitable picture. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Dorothy, I always find your feedback completely inspirational and most helpful. You have helped tremendously in the improvement of my craft. God Bless!
    The poles are open if you desire to vote.
Comment from padumachitta
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hi...a super contest entry, a porper haiku, well done. A new spin on the proverbial desert island...so nice even i could wash ashore and be content

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    LOL! Thank you padumachitta for the inspiring review and generous stars. I would love to hang out there on the weekends myself.
    The poles are open for voting if you desire to vote.
    God Bless!
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    LOL! Thank you padumachitta for the inspiring review and generous stars. I would love to hang out there on the weekends myself.
    The poles are open for voting if you desire to vote.
    God Bless!
Comment from mfowler
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This is a nice haiku full of messages both natural and enticing. Firstly the concept of 'virgin sands' speaks of the beginning of something that eventually becomes a living, interconnected environment. Secondly, the satori line 'trespassing allowed' could be taken in two ways in my view: firstly, as a fun invitation to beachcombers who'd like to laze on pristine sands; or secondly, as invitation to bird, insect, marine or plant life that may visit and become part of an island. The value of a good haiku for me is the imagery laid out to absorb, and a balancing line of associated thought that makes you say,'aha!' This one does.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you mfowler for the most inspiring review and stars. You are one of my top five people I look forward to receiving feedback from. You are always inspiring and helpful in the best of manors. I will be nominating you after I answer this.
    The poles are now open for voting if you desire to do so.
    God Bless!
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you mfowler for the most inspiring review and stars. You are one of my top five people I look forward to receiving feedback from. You are always inspiring and helpful in the best of manors. I will be nominating you after I answer this.
    The poles are now open for voting if you desire to do so.
    God Bless!
    LOL! I tried to nominate you and found I already have done so, my memory is so bad at times I believe I could hide my own Easter eggs.
Comment from Christine B.
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The purity of untouched sand, the alterations made by nature's sprouting of 'life' and appeal of more advantage, the invitation of it all. Interesting spin on this inevitable birthing process.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you Christine B for another excellent review, I always appreciate your feedback.
    The poles are open for voting if you so desire.
    God Bless!
Comment from Drew Delaney
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This is really cute. The presentation is marvellous with the picture and the final line. I wish you good wishes in the contest. I just never think to try to write one of these 5-7-5 poems. Well written.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you Drew for another excellent review, I always appreciate your feedback. You should definitely give them a go, I had no idea I would be able to do them. They are so much fun!
    The poles for voting are open if you desire to vote. God Bless!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
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this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this haiku about the island that is created. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
    Thank you for another excellent review sweetwoodjax, I always enjoy your kind words.
    The voting poles are now open if you so desire to vote.
    God Bless!
Comment from Spitfire
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Nice use of paradox--virgin sands giving birth. Trespassing allowed. Wonder if that applies to cruise ships. LOL,
Nice use of assonance with virgin and birth, sprout and allowed.

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
    Thank you Spitfire for another excellent review and stars from you. I always look forward to reading your feedback. God bless!
    The poles are open for voting if you choose to do so.
Comment from Smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest

your syllable count spot on

your few words portray the new island with growth allows trespasses

good visual

cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
    Thank you Smoothiecool for another excellent review from you.
    The poles are open for voting if you desire to do so.
    God bless!
reply by Smoothiecool on 26-Oct-2014
    most welcome ..SC