haiku (virgin sands give birth)
Contest entry (5-7-5)80 total reviews
Comment from Goodauthor
Perfect! A complete thought in seventeen syllables that pain a picture of beauty barring the artwork. I believe the tropical encounters are among the most beautiful of all. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Perfect! A complete thought in seventeen syllables that pain a picture of beauty barring the artwork. I believe the tropical encounters are among the most beautiful of all. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much Goodauthor for the exceptional review, I am honored that you enjoyed this piece so. God bless!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Diny
congrats on the win!-
this style is still so limiting to me... Though I am trying my hand at it...
this was a great one that took me away even without the picture!
WRITE ON
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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congrats on the win!-
this style is still so limiting to me... Though I am trying my hand at it...
this was a great one that took me away even without the picture!
WRITE ON
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you Diny and please do continue with your efforts, although maybe don't think so hard on the syllable count. write your piece and then edit down, I promise you it will come. God bless!
Comment from Benny Beeharry
A great short writing to say the least. So natural and well done.
Still the quality is in the thought behind it.
Great thought.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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A great short writing to say the least. So natural and well done.
Still the quality is in the thought behind it.
Great thought.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you Benny for the awesome review. God bless!
Comment from Acquired Taste
This ... is absolutely lovely. Your words are visual and eerily descriptive of the fabulous photo you picked for your work. Both go together exceedingly well. AT=/
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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This ... is absolutely lovely. Your words are visual and eerily descriptive of the fabulous photo you picked for your work. Both go together exceedingly well. AT=/
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you Acquired Taste for another awesome review. God Bless!
Comment from SteveY
I guess no further rewards can be given to this one, but I feel the picture so perfectly depicts what you've described that it's just wonderful.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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I guess no further rewards can be given to this one, but I feel the picture so perfectly depicts what you've described that it's just wonderful.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you Steve and the further rewards keep coming in these wonderful reviews. There have been so many that I can't seem to keep up LOL. God Bless!
Comment from judiverse
Beautifully done, and congratulations on winning the prompt. Wonderful explanation of the sands giving birth to a new island. Excellent alliteration with the S sounds. Great third line. I love the thought of trespassing allowed. It is wonderful to find places where you can be welcome, no questions asked. judi
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Beautifully done, and congratulations on winning the prompt. Wonderful explanation of the sands giving birth to a new island. Excellent alliteration with the S sounds. Great third line. I love the thought of trespassing allowed. It is wonderful to find places where you can be welcome, no questions asked. judi
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Absolutely Judi, everyone is always welcome on the island. Thank you for the most inspiring review. God bless!
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It sounds lovely. judi
Comment from DR DIP
well the picture and accompanying words say it all..in just 3 lines for 3 lines and this beautiful image is all that is required.
thanks for sharing
dip
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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well the picture and accompanying words say it all..in just 3 lines for 3 lines and this beautiful image is all that is required.
thanks for sharing
dip
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you DR DIP for the awesome review. God bless!
Comment from dennis0530
In the real sense, this is picturing something coming out of nothing. The "virgin birth" of an island coming out of the sea is a product of geological sequence. And the next step to this is a sprouting of life, both animal and vegetation. Where there is something to support a foothold, organisms will come and thrive.
I see "trespassing allowed" as passing though or passing by to whatever chances upon this place for rest or residency.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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In the real sense, this is picturing something coming out of nothing. The "virgin birth" of an island coming out of the sea is a product of geological sequence. And the next step to this is a sprouting of life, both animal and vegetation. Where there is something to support a foothold, organisms will come and thrive.
I see "trespassing allowed" as passing though or passing by to whatever chances upon this place for rest or residency.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you Dennis for the excellent review and you have nailed my thoughts correctly. God bless!
Comment from PoeticXscape
I wanted to give this a 5 but I'm afraid I struggled. The title is strange and I couldn't get my head around it. As I read this I thought reality. Sand does not multiply by itself, Islands are created by either dropping sea level or erosion? I'm not a scientist but pretty sure sand can not give birth lol.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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I wanted to give this a 5 but I'm afraid I struggled. The title is strange and I couldn't get my head around it. As I read this I thought reality. Sand does not multiply by itself, Islands are created by either dropping sea level or erosion? I'm not a scientist but pretty sure sand can not give birth lol.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Hi PoeticXscape, I joined this site for one reason and that is for the feedback. Not everyone sees certain pieces through the same eyes. This was an entry for a contest which specified the title to be the first line of the piece. I am proud to say that I won and I am delighted for I am very new at this. In my mind I was seeing the sand as virgin at first as it gathers on the little island. Then becoming the womb that gave life to the vegetation and possibly baby turtles, this is where I came up with sprouting life. Then of course trespassing welcome is for an other creatures or man to step foot on this new territory. Islands may also be formed by volcanic action and earthquakes which in turn is giving birth to the island in my eyes. I absolutely appreciate your feedback and generous stars and certainly hope to have you read more of my work, this is how I grow. God Bless!
Comment from MizKat
Hi Neonewman,
You Haiku - Island poem is very well written and is also an interesting read. Congratulations in winning the contest. Your wonderful poem deserved to win.
Kat
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Hi Neonewman,
You Haiku - Island poem is very well written and is also an interesting read. Congratulations in winning the contest. Your wonderful poem deserved to win.
Kat
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Thank you MizKat for the awesome review. God Bless!
