The Night the Lights Went Out
story poem in rhyming couplets131 total reviews
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a very dark and brooding poem that the author has created with this piece of work. This is an interesting change of pace and it is very well done indeed.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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This is a very dark and brooding poem that the author has created with this piece of work. This is an interesting change of pace and it is very well done indeed.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Tomes, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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My pleasure
Comment from Pili Pubul
This is as terrifying as the news, what is astounding is your talent
to write , dark or light . No doubt this is chilling bones dark. Great style and images difficult to forget. Pili
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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This is as terrifying as the news, what is astounding is your talent
to write , dark or light . No doubt this is chilling bones dark. Great style and images difficult to forget. Pili
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thank you so very much, Pili, for your generous six stars and for your most encouraging comments :-) Brooke
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You are most welcome. Pili
Comment from kiwisteveh
This is genuinely spooky. Darkness lends itself to morbid thoughts and unexplained darkness even more so I imagine.
In fact the whole thing is a bit mysterious - what caused the slaughter and will the killer return? Adding to the mystery, we don't really know who the narrator is or what the setting is.
Rhyme and meter strong as always and this carries the story along nicely.
Steve
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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This is genuinely spooky. Darkness lends itself to morbid thoughts and unexplained darkness even more so I imagine.
In fact the whole thing is a bit mysterious - what caused the slaughter and will the killer return? Adding to the mystery, we don't really know who the narrator is or what the setting is.
Rhyme and meter strong as always and this carries the story along nicely.
Steve
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Steve, thank you for your thoughtful review. :-) Brooke
Comment from flamingstar
A story about survivor's guilt! This is a bit dark - a departure for you? I was expecting the word "zombies" to pop up, but tangled corpses were just as bad. They filmed some of that stupid Z Nation series at our hospital so zombies are the talk of the town!
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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A story about survivor's guilt! This is a bit dark - a departure for you? I was expecting the word "zombies" to pop up, but tangled corpses were just as bad. They filmed some of that stupid Z Nation series at our hospital so zombies are the talk of the town!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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thank you, flamingstar. For the past six years I have posted darker works each October - this is part of that tradition. Brooke
Comment from IndianaIrish
You do have the ability to write great horror poetry, Brooke. I know several people who are terrified of the dark and your poem would make their skin crawl. Great descriptions with strong words that gave me an eerie feeling of gloom.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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You do have the ability to write great horror poetry, Brooke. I know several people who are terrified of the dark and your poem would make their skin crawl. Great descriptions with strong words that gave me an eerie feeling of gloom.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Karyn :-) Brooke
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Excellently written profound poem. Gripping graphic imagery evoked. I liked the lines below best.
they stomped on the weak who would get in their way -
till they were the weak who were stomped by the strong,
and so none were left to be right or be wrong.
I found not one soul, as in silence I wept.
That night I was spared but have never learned why,
After death from conflicts,no one is indeed left to be right or wrong. Indeed sometimes we are spared from life's storms for reasons we may never really know.
Well done!
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Excellently written profound poem. Gripping graphic imagery evoked. I liked the lines below best.
they stomped on the weak who would get in their way -
till they were the weak who were stomped by the strong,
and so none were left to be right or be wrong.
I found not one soul, as in silence I wept.
That night I was spared but have never learned why,
After death from conflicts,no one is indeed left to be right or wrong. Indeed sometimes we are spared from life's storms for reasons we may never really know.
Well done!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Chi, thank you so much for your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Acquired Taste
Brooke - terrific dark work on this one. Am glad it is Halloween and you are giving us a taste of your dark side. Now, I suspect Dean will take this poem and go a step further - okay, he'll jump off a cliff with it. I think it is grand! Jean
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Brooke - terrific dark work on this one. Am glad it is Halloween and you are giving us a taste of your dark side. Now, I suspect Dean will take this poem and go a step further - okay, he'll jump off a cliff with it. I think it is grand! Jean
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your review, Jean :-) Dean will just have to write his own poems. :-) Brooke
Comment from nomi338
You have done a very good job of creating a terrifying story that is perfect for the current season. This would be a good template for a horror story. Good job Brooke.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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You have done a very good job of creating a terrifying story that is perfect for the current season. This would be a good template for a horror story. Good job Brooke.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, nomi :-) Brooke
Comment from krys123
Brooke;
I must congratulate you on scaring the daylights out of me and making me impressed by years sensational writing skills.
Your rhyming was indeed neither forced nor labored and helped with the rhythmic flow that seem to flow smoothly throughout your writing with excellent meter and tempo.
The imagery was enough to frighten a stone and was so terrifyingly descriptive and horribly expressive throughout your writing: "When nothing but bodies were piled on the path, the sun slowly rose on the nights aftermath, and I from the hiding emerged from that place
that let me see horizontal never erase." What an infectuous portrayal of horror that is truly explained so well.
Even your picture that you have chosen represented your poem so well.
I'm reading this at about 11 PM Eastern standard Time and I'm just about to go to bed hoping that I won't have nightmares.
Thank you for an exceptional piece of writing and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Brooke;
I must congratulate you on scaring the daylights out of me and making me impressed by years sensational writing skills.
Your rhyming was indeed neither forced nor labored and helped with the rhythmic flow that seem to flow smoothly throughout your writing with excellent meter and tempo.
The imagery was enough to frighten a stone and was so terrifyingly descriptive and horribly expressive throughout your writing: "When nothing but bodies were piled on the path, the sun slowly rose on the nights aftermath, and I from the hiding emerged from that place
that let me see horizontal never erase." What an infectuous portrayal of horror that is truly explained so well.
Even your picture that you have chosen represented your poem so well.
I'm reading this at about 11 PM Eastern standard Time and I'm just about to go to bed hoping that I won't have nightmares.
Thank you for an exceptional piece of writing and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Alex, thank you so much for your generous six stars. I do hope you had no nightmares, though secretly it would delight me if my words could do that. LOL :-) Brooke
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You are so sincerely welcome Brooke.
I figure poem for my niece for Halloween.
I'm sure were frighten her.
Alex
Comment from Donya Quijote
What an entertaining piece of darkness and mayhem! All in good fun and for the season at hand. You are most amazing when you go rogue and dark.
The poem moves along at a quickening pace and the fear and the horror increase in each stanza. A nice effect there. Visually evocative and cleverly describe. Exactly what the terror was other than the dark and the march of Death in the end is left to the reader. Clever, appealing, and tantalizing. It forced me to read again and again and each time a new horror crept into my mind.
On thought came to me the very first read and that is the one I will share with you. Have you ever seen the Night of the Living Dead, the version from the 1960s? It should be black and white. Anyway, the zombies are ravaging the world and people who wouldn't ordinarily have much to do with each other have to learn to depended on each other in order to survive the night. One guy, a black man, is instrumental in keeping everyone alive. But, as fate would have it, as the dawn arrives he is killed by a bunch of white men, who were killing zombies. I guess that was my tired old brain trying to define the horror that drove you to your thicket. Imagining witnessing that. The white dudes knew the black guy wasn't a zombie, they just advantage of the situation. I hope you don't mind this digression. I really need some sleep, and now your poem may just be another factor keeping me up late. LOL.
Another fantastic poem. Love it when you go dark...
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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What an entertaining piece of darkness and mayhem! All in good fun and for the season at hand. You are most amazing when you go rogue and dark.
The poem moves along at a quickening pace and the fear and the horror increase in each stanza. A nice effect there. Visually evocative and cleverly describe. Exactly what the terror was other than the dark and the march of Death in the end is left to the reader. Clever, appealing, and tantalizing. It forced me to read again and again and each time a new horror crept into my mind.
On thought came to me the very first read and that is the one I will share with you. Have you ever seen the Night of the Living Dead, the version from the 1960s? It should be black and white. Anyway, the zombies are ravaging the world and people who wouldn't ordinarily have much to do with each other have to learn to depended on each other in order to survive the night. One guy, a black man, is instrumental in keeping everyone alive. But, as fate would have it, as the dawn arrives he is killed by a bunch of white men, who were killing zombies. I guess that was my tired old brain trying to define the horror that drove you to your thicket. Imagining witnessing that. The white dudes knew the black guy wasn't a zombie, they just advantage of the situation. I hope you don't mind this digression. I really need some sleep, and now your poem may just be another factor keeping me up late. LOL.
Another fantastic poem. Love it when you go dark...
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Donya, for your generous six stars and for sharing your thoughtful response to this poem. I do think I saw the movie, but long ago. Brooke
