The Night the Lights Went Out
story poem in rhyming couplets131 total reviews
Comment from J.Byers
A fitting poem in the lead up to Halloween. You have woven the eerie feeling of your photo, and the terror of the events described within your poem, together in such a way that I found myself looking up at the sky - despite it being full daylight here - and hoping the light didn't disappear. Eloquently written, your work enters the psyche, and preys on that primal fear of darkness and death. Well done, Brooke.
Blessings,
~ J.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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A fitting poem in the lead up to Halloween. You have woven the eerie feeling of your photo, and the terror of the events described within your poem, together in such a way that I found myself looking up at the sky - despite it being full daylight here - and hoping the light didn't disappear. Eloquently written, your work enters the psyche, and preys on that primal fear of darkness and death. Well done, Brooke.
Blessings,
~ J.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, J, for your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Winslow
Dear Brooke,
Fear can do harm that is for sure. I suppose you could say this is a metaphor for the spread of panic. People don't think they just react and sometimes lose. For it CAN consume both the strong and the weak. Just look at Ebola.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Dear Brooke,
Fear can do harm that is for sure. I suppose you could say this is a metaphor for the spread of panic. People don't think they just react and sometimes lose. For it CAN consume both the strong and the weak. Just look at Ebola.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Winslow, thank you for your insightful reading of this poem
Brooke
Comment from Dawny53
I have to admit I was a bit surprised to see this kind of writing from you.. it's so different from what you usually write. It is creepy.. and leaving the reader wondering exactly what went on is mystifying!
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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I have to admit I was a bit surprised to see this kind of writing from you.. it's so different from what you usually write. It is creepy.. and leaving the reader wondering exactly what went on is mystifying!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Dawny - for six years I have posted dark poems during October - it is my little tradition :-) Brooke
Comment from expressions9
Wow Brooke! This is a brilliant story poem! Great flow with vivid imagery. The panic, suspense, tension and fear can be felt as you take us into the thick of this frightful night with your well-chosen words. It makes me want to read and reread this. Excellent alliteration, rhythm and rhyme as always.
Thanks for sharing :)
Christine
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Wow Brooke! This is a brilliant story poem! Great flow with vivid imagery. The panic, suspense, tension and fear can be felt as you take us into the thick of this frightful night with your well-chosen words. It makes me want to read and reread this. Excellent alliteration, rhythm and rhyme as always.
Thanks for sharing :)
Christine
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Christine, for your insightful review and generous six stars :-) Brooke
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You're welcome! :)
Comment from lizabethrita
But I have been away for a while, and when I returned to the theme story site, I find it completely new poetess. Who knew you could write that? Whatever the sauce the goose stays the same. The cadence is wonderful. And you scared the hell out of me too.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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But I have been away for a while, and when I returned to the theme story site, I find it completely new poetess. Who knew you could write that? Whatever the sauce the goose stays the same. The cadence is wonderful. And you scared the hell out of me too.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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lizabethrita, thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from TKField
B, have you gone over to the dark side? Not a fairy or a dandelion or a Puff the Magic Dragon in sight. Instead, we get piles of corpses, mass killing, panicky mobs, slaughter, people getting stomped on and a generally bleak forecast all around. Now that's what I'm talking about! Too bad it can't be Halloween year round, because I think you just might be the Stephen King of gothic/horror poets. This was diabolically, hair-raisingly, goose-bump inducingly... excellent! I loved it. It reminded me of a really good episode of the Twilight Zone. Some of your best writing. Edgy, morbid, risky, dark (natch), and unrepentant and unredeemed to the end, as it should be. That you rendered this subject matter with such precise and lovely turns of phrase is a wonder.
This definitely works metaphorically, what with lethal viruses, crazed homicidal fanatics of every stripe, general incompetence, free-floating anxiety, stationary anxiety, cynicism, apathy and the rippling lassitude of a meaningless existence in a random, godless, indifferent universe, at the end of which we die and are forgotten. And that's the optimistic view!
The forces of darkness seem to be closing in every second of every day, sometimes. I have an idea for a short story called "The Invasion Of The Brain Snatchers", because everyone appears to have lost their minds lately. Sure, I tell myself; "all we have to fear is fear itself". On the other foot...if you aren't afraid of Ebola and ISIS and Iran getting nuclear weapons and serial killers and child abductors and all the freaking guns out there in the hands of people who shouldn't be allowed to own a salad shooter....then you're either being willfully oblivious or you're not paying attention. Anyway, thanks for the chills. Now, if you'll excuse me...I have a head in the oven.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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B, have you gone over to the dark side? Not a fairy or a dandelion or a Puff the Magic Dragon in sight. Instead, we get piles of corpses, mass killing, panicky mobs, slaughter, people getting stomped on and a generally bleak forecast all around. Now that's what I'm talking about! Too bad it can't be Halloween year round, because I think you just might be the Stephen King of gothic/horror poets. This was diabolically, hair-raisingly, goose-bump inducingly... excellent! I loved it. It reminded me of a really good episode of the Twilight Zone. Some of your best writing. Edgy, morbid, risky, dark (natch), and unrepentant and unredeemed to the end, as it should be. That you rendered this subject matter with such precise and lovely turns of phrase is a wonder.
This definitely works metaphorically, what with lethal viruses, crazed homicidal fanatics of every stripe, general incompetence, free-floating anxiety, stationary anxiety, cynicism, apathy and the rippling lassitude of a meaningless existence in a random, godless, indifferent universe, at the end of which we die and are forgotten. And that's the optimistic view!
The forces of darkness seem to be closing in every second of every day, sometimes. I have an idea for a short story called "The Invasion Of The Brain Snatchers", because everyone appears to have lost their minds lately. Sure, I tell myself; "all we have to fear is fear itself". On the other foot...if you aren't afraid of Ebola and ISIS and Iran getting nuclear weapons and serial killers and child abductors and all the freaking guns out there in the hands of people who shouldn't be allowed to own a salad shooter....then you're either being willfully oblivious or you're not paying attention. Anyway, thanks for the chills. Now, if you'll excuse me...I have a head in the oven.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, TK - for the past six years I have posted pieces that dwell in the dark side during the month of October. :-) I appreciate your insightful reading of the story as more than just a spooky holiday tale and your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from DALLAS01
Sorry I do not have a six left. This is a bit different for you. A rather macabre laying out of death and destruction. It seems to embrace both Halloween and the futility of war. I really liked the imagery, the length, and the art work. Makes me wish you had a flashlight. the dark is sure scary. lol
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Sorry I do not have a six left. This is a bit different for you. A rather macabre laying out of death and destruction. It seems to embrace both Halloween and the futility of war. I really liked the imagery, the length, and the art work. Makes me wish you had a flashlight. the dark is sure scary. lol
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Dallas :-) Brooke
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:.)
Comment from skye
Very different take on horror and death, with no answers except the fact that people are like lemmings, and with no other thought, run in terror, and die in the attempt.
Excellent rhymes, morbid lines, as usual you captured the emotions of your subject.
Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Very different take on horror and death, with no answers except the fact that people are like lemmings, and with no other thought, run in terror, and die in the attempt.
Excellent rhymes, morbid lines, as usual you captured the emotions of your subject.
Well done.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Skye, thank you so much for your insightful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Ninap2
This is a great read.
Very nice rhyme scheme.
A sense of horror pervades throughout.
Great Halloween poem - great picture to match.
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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This is a great read.
Very nice rhyme scheme.
A sense of horror pervades throughout.
Great Halloween poem - great picture to match.
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Nina, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from rod007
An eerie poem with good imagery of these mortals being swallowed by the devilish night. They probably killed each other in their blind terror to flee from the monster. The survivor knew better and hid in the ticket. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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An eerie poem with good imagery of these mortals being swallowed by the devilish night. They probably killed each other in their blind terror to flee from the monster. The survivor knew better and hid in the ticket. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Rod, for your insightful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
