Faded Soul
A broken soul falling into darkness2 total reviews
Comment from Linda England Bonam
I liked your poem, and it says a lot, but it is not a 5-7-5 poem. So you have entered the wrong contest. A five, seven, five poem consists of only 17 syllables.
This would be a good entry in another contest, though, possibly one about addiction or something. Also, in the line that starts Come down OFF THIS CLOUD, instead of 'of' this cloud! Good poem, great choice of wording, and good rhyming.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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I liked your poem, and it says a lot, but it is not a 5-7-5 poem. So you have entered the wrong contest. A five, seven, five poem consists of only 17 syllables.
This would be a good entry in another contest, though, possibly one about addiction or something. Also, in the line that starts Come down OFF THIS CLOUD, instead of 'of' this cloud! Good poem, great choice of wording, and good rhyming.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your feedback its greatly appreciated.
Comment from Domino 2
This contest requires just THREE lines of 5 syllables, then 7, then 5, so your entry will be disqualified. Maybe you have time to re-work it before deadline.
Apart from that, you need to break this into separate stanzas, with line spaces, and shorter lines, as it's a formidable and unattractive read as it stands, with respect.
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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This contest requires just THREE lines of 5 syllables, then 7, then 5, so your entry will be disqualified. Maybe you have time to re-work it before deadline.
Apart from that, you need to break this into separate stanzas, with line spaces, and shorter lines, as it's a formidable and unattractive read as it stands, with respect.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your feedback.
