The Long War
The old story of women, bicycles and zombies3 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
Whew! Kept me on edge all the way through. Good horror thread throughout. Good character choices - tough women. It even made sense, in a weird psuedo-science sort of way. Submit it for sure, snod. I think it's brilliantly gruesome.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Whew! Kept me on edge all the way through. Good horror thread throughout. Good character choices - tough women. It even made sense, in a weird psuedo-science sort of way. Submit it for sure, snod. I think it's brilliantly gruesome.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks. You know it's not really about zombies, right? But I never really got the whole zombie thing. Never got how a dead body could animate without a nervous system and circulation. Glad I bluffed my way through this succesfully.
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LOL! You're like me. It's got to make sense scientifically. LOL! It's limiting, unless you have a darn good imagination. You did well! Scary.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, snodlander, I am not a fan of zombie genre but I enjoyed reading this story. because it was about the hunters and not so much the zombies..
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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this is an excellent write, snodlander, I am not a fan of zombie genre but I enjoyed reading this story. because it was about the hunters and not so much the zombies..
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you. I have real problems with zombies, because I just can't get my head around the physics of how they can work, so this wasn't a 'real' zombie at all. Glad it worked for you
Comment from Jay Squires
For certain you have an engaging style. Your fiction seems rather in short-hand. It's sparse, with the barest of cues. Of course the mind fills in the gaps where it can. It's quite modern in that respect.
I would like to see a few more dialogue tags. The reader shouldn't have to check back over previous dialogue, saying ,"Okay, if Lisa said this, and Angie said that, then that would mean it's Lisa's turn here." It yanks the reader out of the "moment". See below:
"You ever had an intellectual conversation with one? [You have three characters. It's difficult to know who's speaking without a tag or leading activity by the character.
This is an excellent example of modern fiction.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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For certain you have an engaging style. Your fiction seems rather in short-hand. It's sparse, with the barest of cues. Of course the mind fills in the gaps where it can. It's quite modern in that respect.
I would like to see a few more dialogue tags. The reader shouldn't have to check back over previous dialogue, saying ,"Okay, if Lisa said this, and Angie said that, then that would mean it's Lisa's turn here." It yanks the reader out of the "moment". See below:
"You ever had an intellectual conversation with one? [You have three characters. It's difficult to know who's speaking without a tag or leading activity by the character.
This is an excellent example of modern fiction.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks. I thought I had two characters, which may well prove your point. I'll revisit it.
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You had Anne and Angie. I thought it was strange you had to characters with such similar names. Now, I've got to go back and make sure I wasn't seeing things. It happens!
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Angie turned back to her companion. Anne screwed up her face [Anne, not Annie] and it did seem strange that Anne had only that one part and no lines.
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Doh! Thanks for that
