Reviews from

senryu (smiles of ill children)

Dedicated to all those who are suffering...

88 total reviews 
Comment from mauial
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think this is a great senyu because it makes a satirical statement about self pity which most times is as you end this is insignificant compared real problems.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Thank you, mauial, and you've nailed my meaning, right on the money. Our personal problems seem very small and insignificant if when we take a stroll through a cancer ward in a children's hospital.

    Thanks so much for your encouraging review. The way the voting is going, I needed it! :}
Comment from emrpoems
Excellent
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A wonderful poem about a sensitive topic. It is sad to see children suffer when there is a cure for cancer that is being suppressed by the Big Pharmaceutical companies.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Yes, it really bothers me to see anyone suffer, emrpoems, much less innocent children. Cancer is such a cruel disease, and effects the lives of so many.

    I appreciate your very supportive review and comments, my friend. :}
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Excellent
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This poem touches me because I have a special place in my heart for children who have cancer, and for their parents who suffer along with them. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Thanks, Jeanie, and by the looks of things and the way the voting is going, I am going to need all of the luck that I can get, my friend. Your review is very encouraging however, and I appreciate it immensely. :}
Comment from skye
Excellent
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Smiles of brave children
render our own self-pity
insignificant.

There is something inherently wrong about disease and children. There should be a law that says children cannot get sick, die, be hurt, but only be happy and play, learn, and grow.
Excellent.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Amen to that, skye, and I completely agree with you, of course. I hate to see anyone suffering, but it seems especially terrible when it is the suffering of children.

    Thanks for your thoughtful and supportive review.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The kids with cancer seem to be much braver than many adults. Wonderful senryu in perfect form. Good luck in the contest.
teresa

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Thanks very much, Teresa. Their bravery rivals that of men in battle, I'll tell you true!

    I sincerely appreciate your encouraging review.
Comment from thee-name
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good Senryn poem. Understandable poem.
SMILES OF BRAVE CHILDREN
RENDER OUR OWN SELF- PITY
INSIGNIFICANT

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Thanks, thee-name, and being understandable is always a plus, especially when it comes to senryu.

    Thanks...:}
reply by thee-name on 23-Oct-2014
    THANK YOU!
Comment from rjuselius
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"Smiles of brave children
render our own self-pity
insignificant."
the pure hope children have for the future is unique! we tend to think nothing may ever harm us when we are young and then the real world hits in.. children live for the day.
thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Yeah, when you walk through the cancer ward of a children's hospital, it makes all the problems you might have in your own life seem to minute, and very small.

    Thanks so much for reading, Rebekka. I appreciate your kind comments.
Comment from MickeyV
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great job. Such powerful words that hold so much truth. Let's hope and pray the children who suffer are all cured of their illnesses!!!

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Amen to that, Mickey. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on the senryu for me, and for the exceptional rating as well. It's doing quite poorly in the voting booths right now, but there's still plenty of time.

    Much obliged, my friend! :}
reply by MickeyV on 23-Oct-2014
    Well deserved! Good luck in contest!
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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thoughtful pairing of photo and poem, which is in good 5/7/5 syllable count
good use of enjambment to make this one continuous statement
I prefer senryu that have an ironic/satiric commentary on human foibles, but the contest directions are woefully incomplete, which is not your fault :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Thanks, Brooke. I made some changes based on your comments.
Comment from dennis0530
Excellent
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This is very true as I recall my first similar experience.

Years ago I worked as a healthcare professional in a big general hospital (1000 beds). One day, following a request from a colleague I visited the Pediatric ward to follow-up something. It must have been playtime as I saw kids running around, playing hide-and-seek. I noticed a bald boy more active than the rest.

Out of curiosity, I asked the staff about him and learned he had Leukemia and was under chemotherapy. I was aghast to learn this and said "How can he be so active and full of life?" One staff replied that is how he was until the next attack.

I went back to my ward still thinking about the kid. I was thinking how wonderful is the human body when coping. No matter how seriously something ails us, the desire to be happy and gregarious is always there. The truth in this senryu's lines might be because of a resilient youth. But always I have noticed that behind a genuinely smiling face there is a happy disposition which in itself is already an element in the healing.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Very true, Dennis. Healing needs to come from the inside as well as out, and trying to maintain a positive demeanor can certainly help in that cause.

    The bravery of such children would rival that of men in battle.

    Thanks so much for sharing your story, and for the thoughtful comments as well.:}