Time Travel
Contest Entry: Sonnet about 'Time'44 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
What a great entry for this sonnet about time writing prompt. I do believe this will be a top contender, good luck and God Bless!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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What a great entry for this sonnet about time writing prompt. I do believe this will be a top contender, good luck and God Bless!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Neonewman. I'm not sure that I share your optimism on that!
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Well, we are our worst critiques LOL!
Comment from Eric1
Hi Tony, this is a wonderful bang up to date entry for this sonnet contest my friend, sonnets are mostly set in the past so this is quite refreshing, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Hi Tony, this is a wonderful bang up to date entry for this sonnet contest my friend, sonnets are mostly set in the past so this is quite refreshing, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Eric. Just a bit of nonsense to lighten the contest!
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Good nonsense though Tony.
Comment from Irish Rain
Ha ha...Good one! I never thought of that, as I don't travel much, but losing a day like that would be so strange! darn phone, ha ha!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Ha ha...Good one! I never thought of that, as I don't travel much, but losing a day like that would be so strange! darn phone, ha ha!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Irish Rain. Just a bit of nonsense to lighten the contest!
Comment from mjac777
Quite humorous..... crossing back and forth across the IDL to escape the ravages of time. Perfect rhyme and meter give this work a nice flow making for an enjoyable read.
Good luck in the contest - a strong contender, no doubt.
Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Quite humorous..... crossing back and forth across the IDL to escape the ravages of time. Perfect rhyme and meter give this work a nice flow making for an enjoyable read.
Good luck in the contest - a strong contender, no doubt.
Well done.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, mjac. I'm not sure that I share your optimism on that!
Comment from krys123
Tony;
I sure did find is very humorous my friend and you are definitely misconstrued about the international date line, for sure: "Just then the captain came along the aisle "Hi Jack," I said. "We need to turn around." Deep held at that and quickly lost his smile. Before I knew it, I was tightly bound." He probably thought you were crazy, now I thought that was very funny. Chuckle!
Your meter and tempo helped your rhythm so well in major rhythm flows smoothly throughout your writing.
Your rhyming also helped with your rhythmic flow and was neither forced nor labored.
The imagery was very distinct and clearly written as it was very descriptive and expressive throughout your writing. As it conveyed your situation on the boat and your confusion about the time being probably a date earlier a day late.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting and good luck in the contest for this is a formidable entry.
Alex
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Tony;
I sure did find is very humorous my friend and you are definitely misconstrued about the international date line, for sure: "Just then the captain came along the aisle "Hi Jack," I said. "We need to turn around." Deep held at that and quickly lost his smile. Before I knew it, I was tightly bound." He probably thought you were crazy, now I thought that was very funny. Chuckle!
Your meter and tempo helped your rhythm so well in major rhythm flows smoothly throughout your writing.
Your rhyming also helped with your rhythmic flow and was neither forced nor labored.
The imagery was very distinct and clearly written as it was very descriptive and expressive throughout your writing. As it conveyed your situation on the boat and your confusion about the time being probably a date earlier a day late.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting and good luck in the contest for this is a formidable entry.
Alex
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Alex. Just a bit of nonsense to lighten the contest!
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You are so welcome Tony
Comment from rjpurdy
Clever and fun.The poem flowed with good rhytm and cadence. The progression was good. Your poem gave me more than a mere chuckle. As always fine work Tony. Rod
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Clever and fun.The poem flowed with good rhytm and cadence. The progression was good. Your poem gave me more than a mere chuckle. As always fine work Tony. Rod
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Rod.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is an amusing, whimsical sonnet that fantasizes (I assume) about the nightmare of being trapped in time by going back and forth across the International Date Line. The sonnet form is done well, with perfect iambic pentameter, correct rhyme scheme, the proper turn at line nine, and a great rhyming couplet at the end. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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This is an amusing, whimsical sonnet that fantasizes (I assume) about the nightmare of being trapped in time by going back and forth across the International Date Line. The sonnet form is done well, with perfect iambic pentameter, correct rhyme scheme, the proper turn at line nine, and a great rhyming couplet at the end. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Jeanie.
Comment from fayesh
Your concept was clever, but my question: "Is it normal to address the captain as "Jack"? Also, the internal periods really are distracting and unconventional for a sonnet.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Your concept was clever, but my question: "Is it normal to address the captain as "Jack"? Also, the internal periods really are distracting and unconventional for a sonnet.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Faye. Probably not - just a bit of Aussie informality creeping in there - and how else could I hijack the aircraft? Groan. Not your average sonnet, I admit. Choppiness due to clear air turbulence. Sorry it had you reaching for your sick bag.
Comment from Lighthouse Keeper
Nice job. I really fun poem with a light skip to the flow. Good job in fitting the theme and finding a way to deal with it in a unique way. SOme of the flow I stumble on which distracts a bit but over all a really enjoyable piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Nice job. I really fun poem with a light skip to the flow. Good job in fitting the theme and finding a way to deal with it in a unique way. SOme of the flow I stumble on which distracts a bit but over all a really enjoyable piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Lighthouse Keeper. Choppiness due to clear air turbulence. Sorry it had you reaching for your sick bag.
Comment from Glasstruth
LOL. Rules and regulations are everything today. Forgetting that an iPhone is a cause of concern as to how you use it, is something we'll have to get used to. Very cleverly written. Les
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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LOL. Rules and regulations are everything today. Forgetting that an iPhone is a cause of concern as to how you use it, is something we'll have to get used to. Very cleverly written. Les
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Les. Life was much simpler before mobile phones and flying.
