New Leafs, Old Tricks
Turn, turn, turn.48 total reviews
Comment from TKField
Congrats on winning the thing, hump. My piece of crap entry didn't even make the final four. If only I'd had an anecdote about a saintly Grandfather who died of cancer after adopting an Afghan war orphan and three epileptic shelter pets, in my quiver. Oh well.
I thought this was a charming story, full of Norman Rockwell style nostalgia and the awkwardness of youth. It reminded me of a really good episode of Leave It To Beaver, or the narration in "A Christmas Story", or that old Disney flick "Follow Me Boys" with Fred Macmurray. I can see you as the Kurt Russell character.
Anyway, very humorous, with a lesson in honesty thrown in to boot. The "turning over a new leaf" device was quite effective, especially the resonating call-back at the end, even if it did seem a bit made for Hollywood. I mean, what are the odds the old scoutmaster would just happen to use the very terminology that just happened to be your watchwords? Truth is indeed stranger than fiction. Still, it made for a great piece which richly deserved to win.
"I wanted to crawl into a hole, dig a hole in it, and crawl into that." Nice. Mind if I stea...I mean borrow that one?
Speaking of coincidences, I just wrote a short Scouting tale (the tale and the scouts), of my own, "Idle Hands". Admittedly, it's a little more twisted than yours, but the Scouts have always seemed a little Hitler-Jungen to me. What with the snappy uniforms and all. Like English boarding schools, the scouts are potential hotbeds of buggery and other such depravities that adolescent boys are prone to when herded into groups that exclude females and require snappy uniforms. Check it out if you get the notion. It's strictly for laughs and strictly made-up.
In the final analysis, this is a story even Baden Powell would be proud of. Well handled dialogue, as always.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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Congrats on winning the thing, hump. My piece of crap entry didn't even make the final four. If only I'd had an anecdote about a saintly Grandfather who died of cancer after adopting an Afghan war orphan and three epileptic shelter pets, in my quiver. Oh well.
I thought this was a charming story, full of Norman Rockwell style nostalgia and the awkwardness of youth. It reminded me of a really good episode of Leave It To Beaver, or the narration in "A Christmas Story", or that old Disney flick "Follow Me Boys" with Fred Macmurray. I can see you as the Kurt Russell character.
Anyway, very humorous, with a lesson in honesty thrown in to boot. The "turning over a new leaf" device was quite effective, especially the resonating call-back at the end, even if it did seem a bit made for Hollywood. I mean, what are the odds the old scoutmaster would just happen to use the very terminology that just happened to be your watchwords? Truth is indeed stranger than fiction. Still, it made for a great piece which richly deserved to win.
"I wanted to crawl into a hole, dig a hole in it, and crawl into that." Nice. Mind if I stea...I mean borrow that one?
Speaking of coincidences, I just wrote a short Scouting tale (the tale and the scouts), of my own, "Idle Hands". Admittedly, it's a little more twisted than yours, but the Scouts have always seemed a little Hitler-Jungen to me. What with the snappy uniforms and all. Like English boarding schools, the scouts are potential hotbeds of buggery and other such depravities that adolescent boys are prone to when herded into groups that exclude females and require snappy uniforms. Check it out if you get the notion. It's strictly for laughs and strictly made-up.
In the final analysis, this is a story even Baden Powell would be proud of. Well handled dialogue, as always.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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Thank you, TKField. I think. I'm especially pleased that you noticed how I foreshadowed the old scout administrator's admonishment with my opening comments. Good writers do that sort of thing. What are the odds a good writer would do that sort of thing?
I'm delighted you enjoyed my story. Baden Powell? Means nothing to me. Aesop mean anything to you?
Peace, Lee
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Baden Powell was the founder of the Scouting Movement, and yes, I've heard of Aesop. When it came to lesson-teaching fables, no one could touch him. Seriously, he had a skin condition and hated to be touched. Later...TKF
Comment from SkyBluePink
Congratulations on winning the Contest! This is fantastic. I'm a grandmother and I loved it!
I wasn't even a girl scout and I loved it!
You did exceptionally well with getting, me the reader, right into your story and becoming you! How did you ever do that?
LOL
All I can say is I thoroughly enjoyed the whole writing.
Ummmm....I think Merriam-Webster is no longer of the living. Am I right? I totally believe you about LEAFS! See what you've done? I so enjoyed this I am thinking of inviting you over for a CLOVED-HAM dinner.
Well done!
Keep Writing!
Sky
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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Congratulations on winning the Contest! This is fantastic. I'm a grandmother and I loved it!
I wasn't even a girl scout and I loved it!
You did exceptionally well with getting, me the reader, right into your story and becoming you! How did you ever do that?
LOL
All I can say is I thoroughly enjoyed the whole writing.
Ummmm....I think Merriam-Webster is no longer of the living. Am I right? I totally believe you about LEAFS! See what you've done? I so enjoyed this I am thinking of inviting you over for a CLOVED-HAM dinner.
Well done!
Keep Writing!
Sky
Comment Written 04-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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Thank you, SkyBluePink. I always enjoy writing from my 'child' point of view. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Irish Rain
I loved every word of this, and I can certainly see why it won. It held my attention, beginning to end, and I laughed aloud at 'Aye Aye Sir'....great job, congratulations!
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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I loved every word of this, and I can certainly see why it won. It held my attention, beginning to end, and I laughed aloud at 'Aye Aye Sir'....great job, congratulations!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Irish Rain. Just one of the stories I've been meaning to write down. So glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Marisa3
Lee, what a perfectly delightful story. I love the blend of irreverent humor throughout this piece. I found myself laughing out loud in several places and smiling through the entire post.
Turning over new leafs, that certainly hits me where I live. I have filled my share of bushel baskets over the years.
This was a great read on so many levels.
Marisa
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Lee, what a perfectly delightful story. I love the blend of irreverent humor throughout this piece. I found myself laughing out loud in several places and smiling through the entire post.
Turning over new leafs, that certainly hits me where I live. I have filled my share of bushel baskets over the years.
This was a great read on so many levels.
Marisa
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Marisa3. I'm always so pleasantly surprised when I'm told I struck chord with a reviewer. I'm delighted you related, and enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well written story about an average 6th grade boy. Always thinking adults are overly invasive in their life.
It is funny how he thought he was so smart and found out he wasn't.
It is ironic that knots were his undoing when at the beginning of the story he said that his friend who wanted him to join the scouts couldn't tie his shoes.
I was a girl scout for 3 years.
Keep writing.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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This is a well written story about an average 6th grade boy. Always thinking adults are overly invasive in their life.
It is funny how he thought he was so smart and found out he wasn't.
It is ironic that knots were his undoing when at the beginning of the story he said that his friend who wanted him to join the scouts couldn't tie his shoes.
I was a girl scout for 3 years.
Keep writing.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you, dragonpoet. I've been reading through an anthology of O. Henry stories, so I'm hyper attuned to irony right now.
I'm delighted you noticed--and enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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You're welcome, Lee. I find that what you read often inspires what you write.
Joan
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This is so great. Definitely a winner ... upbeat, funny, reflective, superior writing, descriptive, creative and a whole lot of other adjectives that tells you what a great piece it truly is! Loved it. xoxo deborah
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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This is so great. Definitely a winner ... upbeat, funny, reflective, superior writing, descriptive, creative and a whole lot of other adjectives that tells you what a great piece it truly is! Loved it. xoxo deborah
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you again, kiwigirl. I'm humbled. And delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from JBCaine
Hump-
I'm telling ya, 'leafs' is only acceptable in Canada, and I don't give a hoot what the Merry Website or whoever says.
Dang Canucks are destroying the universe,one letter at a time. I should know, I have a whole branch of the fambly tree up there in the frozen north.
Regardless, congrats on the win, for this, and feel free to call if you ever need your clove hitched. Sometime, I can tell you about my Scouting time, like after you chew your nails down to about the third knuckle.
Another good 'un.
JBCaine-
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Hump-
I'm telling ya, 'leafs' is only acceptable in Canada, and I don't give a hoot what the Merry Website or whoever says.
Dang Canucks are destroying the universe,one letter at a time. I should know, I have a whole branch of the fambly tree up there in the frozen north.
Regardless, congrats on the win, for this, and feel free to call if you ever need your clove hitched. Sometime, I can tell you about my Scouting time, like after you chew your nails down to about the third knuckle.
Another good 'un.
JBCaine-
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Hey, JB. Yeah, them Canucks are always screwing with things.
I'm surprised at how many readers have hinted at their own Scout stories. You can have you're clove hitch. I'd rather tie granny. Yipes! I'm sicker than I thought.
Peace, Lee
Comment from Adri7enne
Congratulations on the win, Lee. Is this one of the posts you've been practicing 'cutting it to the bones' on? LOL! Sharp, crisp descriptions of yourself at eleven, and Rich Zsabo's description made me chuckle. "Sweats like a soda bottle." LOL! Reminds me I'm thirsty.
LOL! You really were on a cutting spree. "No cafeteria. Strictly brown bag and warm milk." Has a staccato feel. In my opinion, you can push any rule past its practical use. Just saying.
I write like that when I'm sending someone I know an email. Very informal. No verbs. Quick, choppy sentences. Works fine. But you don't want to discount the beauty of the language either. "and even the KGB had to nap sometime." You're funny, though!
This writing style is an indication of your growing confidence. Terse, clean, nothing extra. Good work, Lee. You earned the win! "Knots were my undoing." Great ending line.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Congratulations on the win, Lee. Is this one of the posts you've been practicing 'cutting it to the bones' on? LOL! Sharp, crisp descriptions of yourself at eleven, and Rich Zsabo's description made me chuckle. "Sweats like a soda bottle." LOL! Reminds me I'm thirsty.
LOL! You really were on a cutting spree. "No cafeteria. Strictly brown bag and warm milk." Has a staccato feel. In my opinion, you can push any rule past its practical use. Just saying.
I write like that when I'm sending someone I know an email. Very informal. No verbs. Quick, choppy sentences. Works fine. But you don't want to discount the beauty of the language either. "and even the KGB had to nap sometime." You're funny, though!
This writing style is an indication of your growing confidence. Terse, clean, nothing extra. Good work, Lee. You earned the win! "Knots were my undoing." Great ending line.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Adrienne. I don't advocate terse and staccato all the time. But it's useful when it comes to changing the pace, or setting the scene. Most people write short stories as if they're writing novels. And I think the over-describe. I believe in keeping short stories moving. I more entertainer than literati.
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Tatarka2
This is funny and poignant and conjures up so many memories of those times and places just like that. It's so well-written; I see exactly why you won the contest! Congratulations on job so very well done!
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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This is funny and poignant and conjures up so many memories of those times and places just like that. It's so well-written; I see exactly why you won the contest! Congratulations on job so very well done!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Tatarka, for the galaxy and the high praise. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from MissMerri
Yes... a winner in every sense of the word, Lee. This is clever, amusing, well written and so much fun to read. It is also a delightful glimpse into the younger life of a highly respected writer that we've all come to love and appreciate. Congratulations on this most deserved win. I really enjoyed this story.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Yes... a winner in every sense of the word, Lee. This is clever, amusing, well written and so much fun to read. It is also a delightful glimpse into the younger life of a highly respected writer that we've all come to love and appreciate. Congratulations on this most deserved win. I really enjoyed this story.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much for the galaxy and the high praise, MissMerri.
I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
