The Old Violin
Anapestic Tetrameter contest entry82 total reviews
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Tremendous poem, my friend. This has an ancient feel and tone to it. I could "hear" this as I read it. I could feel it. It moved me. Subject matter and all, I was absorbed into the elements of this construction. Almost, as if traveling back in time. Amazing work. Bruce.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
  |
Tremendous poem, my friend. This has an ancient feel and tone to it. I could "hear" this as I read it. I could feel it. It moved me. Subject matter and all, I was absorbed into the elements of this construction. Almost, as if traveling back in time. Amazing work. Bruce.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Bruce, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Dean Kuch
I know little about the real mechanics of poetry, their applications and the specifics of the terms and what they mean. However, I do know what sounds good, eloquent and flows well (I think?) simply by writing lots of poetry of my own.
I've gone over the specifics of Rose's contest, and your entry seems to meet all of the requirements, and quite well at that, Tony.
Your poetic offering of an enchanting gypsy violin and the enchantress who's dancing to it was lovely.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
 |
I know little about the real mechanics of poetry, their applications and the specifics of the terms and what they mean. However, I do know what sounds good, eloquent and flows well (I think?) simply by writing lots of poetry of my own.
I've gone over the specifics of Rose's contest, and your entry seems to meet all of the requirements, and quite well at that, Tony.
Your poetic offering of an enchanting gypsy violin and the enchantress who's dancing to it was lovely.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Dean, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
-
It's always a pleasure, Tony. You're very welcome.:}
~Dean
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
I can just hear and see the music and dance of this poem, aided by the flowing anapestic tetrameter. I love the wildness of the violin, and of the gypsies as well. Perfect meter, rhyme and flow. And the presentation is gorgeous as well. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
I can just hear and see the music and dance of this poem, aided by the flowing anapestic tetrameter. I love the wildness of the violin, and of the gypsies as well. Perfect meter, rhyme and flow. And the presentation is gorgeous as well. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Jeanie, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from pattipac
Excellent word choice and rhyme-scheme make your poem of man kinds fall to the allures of sex is poignant. Like how you tell your story by playing an old violent for a tantalizing gypsy dancer.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
Excellent word choice and rhyme-scheme make your poem of man kinds fall to the allures of sex is poignant. Like how you tell your story by playing an old violent for a tantalizing gypsy dancer.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, pattipac, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it! You were one of very few who caught the double meaning throughout.
Comment from Genya
Alas I have no sixes left, I am so sorry as this deserved them. Amazing poem bringing the music alive as we listen to the old violin, the tambourine and the castanets. So full of imagery, the words bring to life the gypsy girl dancing to the strings of an old violin. Music goes hand in hand with poetry and you have captured this brilliantly. Such a pleasure to read this. Genya
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
Alas I have no sixes left, I am so sorry as this deserved them. Amazing poem bringing the music alive as we listen to the old violin, the tambourine and the castanets. So full of imagery, the words bring to life the gypsy girl dancing to the strings of an old violin. Music goes hand in hand with poetry and you have captured this brilliantly. Such a pleasure to read this. Genya
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Genya, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six virtual stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from RYME4U
The anapests are perfect in this poem. You have done an excellent job using this style. It flows and rhymes well. I really enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
The anapests are perfect in this poem. You have done an excellent job using this style. It flows and rhymes well. I really enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Rhyme4u, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from vapros
This is great poetry. You have described the music of the old gypsy instruments and the dancing of the girl with excellent imagination and depiction. You have expertly set the scene of the gypsy life that we have long imagined. Well done.
v
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
This is great poetry. You have described the music of the old gypsy instruments and the dancing of the girl with excellent imagination and depiction. You have expertly set the scene of the gypsy life that we have long imagined. Well done.
v
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Vapros, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from tdragonfly
The fun the merriment, lust and love continues through out the years. It is passed down from one generation to the next. It is all part of who we are. the rhyme flowed well.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
The fun the merriment, lust and love continues through out the years. It is passed down from one generation to the next. It is all part of who we are. the rhyme flowed well.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, tdragonfly, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Just2Write
Excellent submission to the contest, Tony. The anapestic cadence works so well throughout the poem. Loved the word-visuals - so full with life. Powerful use of multi-syllable words that wove themselves into the poem's meter with perfection.
Of a swift gypsy [gypsy's?] dance, as she sways to and fro
S3L3 - There are a number of words in that line that would normally be stressed:
IN their DREAMS, WHILST in TURN, BRAVE new BEAUX take their PLACE.
I feel that The Anapest meter is still there, but is not as prevalent as it is in other lines and the enjambment from S3L2 is not as easy as it is throughout the rest of the poem.
Rose.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
Excellent submission to the contest, Tony. The anapestic cadence works so well throughout the poem. Loved the word-visuals - so full with life. Powerful use of multi-syllable words that wove themselves into the poem's meter with perfection.
Of a swift gypsy [gypsy's?] dance, as she sways to and fro
S3L3 - There are a number of words in that line that would normally be stressed:
IN their DREAMS, WHILST in TURN, BRAVE new BEAUX take their PLACE.
I feel that The Anapest meter is still there, but is not as prevalent as it is in other lines and the enjambment from S3L2 is not as easy as it is throughout the rest of the poem.
Rose.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Rose, for reviewing my poem. Glad you enjoyed it! I was using 'gypsy' as an adjective there, describing the dance. I've had another look at S3L3 and see what you mean. I have now changed 'brave new beaux' to 'younger beaux' to help improve the flow a bit. The enjambment from S3L2 is deliberately a little awkward to create a pause laying stress on the fact that the old folk are now only sinning 'in their dreams'. Your helpful comments are very much appreciated. Thanks!
Comment from Erik McGinley
Lol, well I won't be calling you a romantic after that one.
Very nice piece of lyric, though, and I hope you put some effort in to trying to get a good folk group to sing it.
Bawdy, raucous and with lament would be my choice. Very nice wording :D
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
Lol, well I won't be calling you a romantic after that one.
Very nice piece of lyric, though, and I hope you put some effort in to trying to get a good folk group to sing it.
Bawdy, raucous and with lament would be my choice. Very nice wording :D
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Many thanks, Erik, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
