Lost Key
flash fiction contest entry 'Lost'26 total reviews
Comment from Tatarka2
I thought this was wonderful and I don't know why it didn't win. You have described such a common condition with such beautiful empathy and concern. Congratulations on writing an important piece! I know many will read it and relate to the characters and the situation described.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
  |
I thought this was wonderful and I don't know why it didn't win. You have described such a common condition with such beautiful empathy and concern. Congratulations on writing an important piece! I know many will read it and relate to the characters and the situation described.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
-
Hello. Thank you for the golden star. I enjoyed your comments. I really appreciate it.
padumachitta
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with great imagery, The story is well written and although it's sad to see a member of your family suffering with Alzheimer's. No changes needed.I suffer with Parkinson's and sometimes can't remember things. Mary
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
 |
A good write with great imagery, The story is well written and although it's sad to see a member of your family suffering with Alzheimer's. No changes needed.I suffer with Parkinson's and sometimes can't remember things. Mary
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
-
hi Mary. Thank you. padumachitta
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Padumachitta,
What a touching story. Such a crippling and horrifying illness to face. Having had family members on my dad's side to have to deal with it really puts thing into perspective to enjoy each other -- remember when the bad happens that it's the disease and not the person.
Great work of dedication. Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
|
Hi, Padumachitta,
What a touching story. Such a crippling and horrifying illness to face. Having had family members on my dad's side to have to deal with it really puts thing into perspective to enjoy each other -- remember when the bad happens that it's the disease and not the person.
Great work of dedication. Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
-
hey Jax thanks foe the lovely review. I am sorry that it has taken so long to get back. I am away and computer access bis limited. Padumachitta
Comment from jpduck
Thank you for this and congratulations on the so well deserved recognition. I found it intensely moving, particularly so, perhaps, because dementia is something that worries me excessively, even though I have just been tested and passed with flying colours!
I spotted one small typo - in para 7, line 3 'her and mind' should be 'and her mind'.
You have a wonderful way with words. For example:
'loses himself in the complexity of weave, fiber, and stillness.'
'She trembles as the pain of all that has gone, bullet trains through her mind.'
'they tandem up the stairs and go to bed.'
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
Thank you for this and congratulations on the so well deserved recognition. I found it intensely moving, particularly so, perhaps, because dementia is something that worries me excessively, even though I have just been tested and passed with flying colours!
I spotted one small typo - in para 7, line 3 'her and mind' should be 'and her mind'.
You have a wonderful way with words. For example:
'loses himself in the complexity of weave, fiber, and stillness.'
'She trembles as the pain of all that has gone, bullet trains through her mind.'
'they tandem up the stairs and go to bed.'
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Hi. Thanks for the golden review. Thanks for catching the typo!
I really like that you said the lines you liked.
padumachitta
-
And thank *you* for your six stars. In the light of that, would you feel inclined to click on the thumbs up for the review. I think I could be in line for the reviewer of the month, which would be nice!
-
Hey no problem, how do you do it after the review is through?
pc
-
Click on:
My Profile/Comments/Reviews Received/View all Comments/Thumbs up should do it.
Many thanks.
Comment from LadyCosgrove
Such a sad closing on their idyllic life - Makes me realise that being alone at the end might be no bad thing, after all.
I love that you manage to place yourself into another's very personal space and share the experience.
LC
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
|
Such a sad closing on their idyllic life - Makes me realise that being alone at the end might be no bad thing, after all.
I love that you manage to place yourself into another's very personal space and share the experience.
LC
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
-
Hey LC Ya, I don't know about it all. Both my partner and myself have dementia in the genes...we shall see...they say learning a foreign language after 40 helps...
Thank gains
padumachitta
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a touching story you've penned, my friend. I love the way you have Jack being a hero to his beloved wife, making the decision to move into nursing care, and also how you again use a "key" - a clever twist.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
|
What a touching story you've penned, my friend. I love the way you have Jack being a hero to his beloved wife, making the decision to move into nursing care, and also how you again use a "key" - a clever twist.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
-
Hi. Thank you for this revirew. I am glad you see Jack as the hero, padumachitta
Comment from Mastery
Hi, straanger. How have you been? Sorry I have missed so much of your work. My novel will be released on February 26 of 2015. I have been hard at work preping for book signings etc. This is a very well written Flash Fiction and deserves to win. (sad topic, but real nonetheless) Blessings. Bob
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
|
Hi, straanger. How have you been? Sorry I have missed so much of your work. My novel will be released on February 26 of 2015. I have been hard at work preping for book signings etc. This is a very well written Flash Fiction and deserves to win. (sad topic, but real nonetheless) Blessings. Bob
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
-
Hi Bob. Thanks for this golden review:-)
Nice to have you back, if even for a short visit!
Good luck in getting everything sorted, it must be so exciting.
padumachitta
-
It truly is very exciting. Thank you so much. Bob
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
This is an excellent entry for this prompt. I liked the story very much and the fact that it captured the pain of both the Alzheimer patient and their loved ones. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
|
This is an excellent entry for this prompt. I liked the story very much and the fact that it captured the pain of both the Alzheimer patient and their loved ones. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
-
Hi. Thanks for the review and well wishes.
padumachitta
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wow, padu. This story really hit home for me like a sledgehammer. You may or may not know, my own dad was recently diagnosed with the early stages of Alzhiemer's Disease, and I dread when he gets bad enough that my mom has to go through something like Mary in your realistic and wonderfully written story has to go through. She's a strong willed woman, but everyone had their breaking poing, their limits to what they can and cannot endure. I honestly don't believe she could take being hit or punched. Not Mom.
Ayhow, sorry to ramble on so, but as I said, this one really got to me.
Hence, the six star rating.
Thanks so much for wirting it...
~Dean
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
|
Wow, padu. This story really hit home for me like a sledgehammer. You may or may not know, my own dad was recently diagnosed with the early stages of Alzhiemer's Disease, and I dread when he gets bad enough that my mom has to go through something like Mary in your realistic and wonderfully written story has to go through. She's a strong willed woman, but everyone had their breaking poing, their limits to what they can and cannot endure. I honestly don't believe she could take being hit or punched. Not Mom.
Ayhow, sorry to ramble on so, but as I said, this one really got to me.
Hence, the six star rating.
Thanks so much for wirting it...
~Dean
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
-
Hey Dean Thanks for a golden review on this. It made me cry when I wrote it. I appreciate your support with this one.
padumachitta
-
You're very welcome, padu.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Though I've read a lot of stories about Alzheimer's, yours really touched me, Padu. I felt Mary's pain as if it was my own. This is a great FF contest entry. Your use of strong verbs and powerful descriptions make it the one to beat in my mind.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
|
Though I've read a lot of stories about Alzheimer's, yours really touched me, Padu. I felt Mary's pain as if it was my own. This is a great FF contest entry. Your use of strong verbs and powerful descriptions make it the one to beat in my mind.
:) Bev
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
-
Hi Bev Thank you for your review. I appreciated the comments, especially that it touched you.
padumachitta
-
You're very welcome, Padu. :) Bev
