The Fairies of Fernwood Forest
a story poem133 total reviews
Comment from Charlene0513
To adewpearl,
An awesome account of how little pixy's can turn things totally around to suit their purposes.
Enjambments
Twas a time-satori
Lovely creative child's story.
Charlene
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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To adewpearl,
An awesome account of how little pixy's can turn things totally around to suit their purposes.
Enjambments
Twas a time-satori
Lovely creative child's story.
Charlene
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Charlene, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from GWHARGIS
I liked the folk lore feeling to this one. Great enchanted imagery and feeling. I liked the way this moved and left one wondering if the Fairie world would be bleak and dark forever. Great job.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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I liked the folk lore feeling to this one. Great enchanted imagery and feeling. I liked the way this moved and left one wondering if the Fairie world would be bleak and dark forever. Great job.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Gretchen :-) Brooke
Comment from Janet Foor
This is a delightful story poem for children of all ages. Magical and mystical fairies and fairy dust. Ten feet tall toadstools that create a magical picture of Fernwood Forest.
Wonderful rhyme and alliteration throughout. I love it.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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This is a delightful story poem for children of all ages. Magical and mystical fairies and fairy dust. Ten feet tall toadstools that create a magical picture of Fernwood Forest.
Wonderful rhyme and alliteration throughout. I love it.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Janet, thank you so much for your generous and gracious response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from acerisestory
What a wonderful story you've written here, Brooke! What makes it even more powerful is to read it aloud. Even though you've written your poem in the form of a fairytale, it feels as if it could be about today. Things will get better . . . . really!
If you've wondered if light can triumph
in a world cloaked in clouds of fear,
ask the Fairies of Fernwood Forest,
who from dark made new light appear.
Nice!
Your meter, alliteration and rhyming are perfection, and the enjambment you've used makes the words flow beautifully.
I can give you nothing less than a six! Alana
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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What a wonderful story you've written here, Brooke! What makes it even more powerful is to read it aloud. Even though you've written your poem in the form of a fairytale, it feels as if it could be about today. Things will get better . . . . really!
If you've wondered if light can triumph
in a world cloaked in clouds of fear,
ask the Fairies of Fernwood Forest,
who from dark made new light appear.
Nice!
Your meter, alliteration and rhyming are perfection, and the enjambment you've used makes the words flow beautifully.
I can give you nothing less than a six! Alana
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Alana, thank you so very much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from rama devi
Another charming write with fluid flow and an amazing abundance of artistic alliterative affect (effect, I know...but I wanted the A there!) I especially liked reading this aloud with all the poetic devices woven in...sounds super! Fine rhyming too, as usual. Especially enjoyed the first stanza aloud, and this one as well:
At the hour when the world would waken
to the tune of the trilling lark,
not one soul in the wood was stirring,
for the sky had turned bleak and dark.
and also this:
From the thick of the tangled timbers
rose the song of the trilling lark
as the light of the fairies' making
filled more space with each tiny spark.
love this image and subtle personification:
and the stars in their congregation
hid the difference 'twixt day and night.
This stanza is not as polished and fluid as the others to my ear--read aloud--though it is perfectly acceptable:
No more stars in their congregation
made the night seem as bright as day,
and a cloud black as raven's feathers
swept the light of the sun away.
Well voiced...and nice assonance of O in home,note and doe:
In the home of the Fernwood Fairies
not one note of the lark was heard,
not one doe stirred to feed her children,
not one sound came from fox nor bird.
*
It was then that the Queen of Fairies
called her subjects to congregate,
I paused here on the use of congregate, since the star congregation was used twice already. I recommend using a synonymous verb there...just my two cents.
*this is fine as is, but I can't help thinking the read would be even smoother with a different punctuation choice (my opinion). What do you think of:
She commanded each sprite she'd summoned,
"Take a handful of fairy dust."
And they did as their Queen had ordered,
for their monarch was wise and just.
Pitch perfect closing:
If you've wondered if light can triumph
in a world cloaked in clouds of fear,
ask the Fairies of Fernwood Forest,
who from dark made new light appear.
I love the tone and tenor of this and the storytelling style. With some fine tuning, this would border on a six for me...good job, dear B. Bravo
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Another charming write with fluid flow and an amazing abundance of artistic alliterative affect (effect, I know...but I wanted the A there!) I especially liked reading this aloud with all the poetic devices woven in...sounds super! Fine rhyming too, as usual. Especially enjoyed the first stanza aloud, and this one as well:
At the hour when the world would waken
to the tune of the trilling lark,
not one soul in the wood was stirring,
for the sky had turned bleak and dark.
and also this:
From the thick of the tangled timbers
rose the song of the trilling lark
as the light of the fairies' making
filled more space with each tiny spark.
love this image and subtle personification:
and the stars in their congregation
hid the difference 'twixt day and night.
This stanza is not as polished and fluid as the others to my ear--read aloud--though it is perfectly acceptable:
No more stars in their congregation
made the night seem as bright as day,
and a cloud black as raven's feathers
swept the light of the sun away.
Well voiced...and nice assonance of O in home,note and doe:
In the home of the Fernwood Fairies
not one note of the lark was heard,
not one doe stirred to feed her children,
not one sound came from fox nor bird.
*
It was then that the Queen of Fairies
called her subjects to congregate,
I paused here on the use of congregate, since the star congregation was used twice already. I recommend using a synonymous verb there...just my two cents.
*this is fine as is, but I can't help thinking the read would be even smoother with a different punctuation choice (my opinion). What do you think of:
She commanded each sprite she'd summoned,
"Take a handful of fairy dust."
And they did as their Queen had ordered,
for their monarch was wise and just.
Pitch perfect closing:
If you've wondered if light can triumph
in a world cloaked in clouds of fear,
ask the Fairies of Fernwood Forest,
who from dark made new light appear.
I love the tone and tenor of this and the storytelling style. With some fine tuning, this would border on a six for me...good job, dear B. Bravo
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your feedback, rd Brooke
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:-)
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
If I had a six I would give you it but I have none . A great poem and very well written. The poem gave me pleasure and I love the way you can write so many words and verse.Never mind maybe one day you can teach me one to one. A pleasure to read. Take care. Mary
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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If I had a six I would give you it but I have none . A great poem and very well written. The poem gave me pleasure and I love the way you can write so many words and verse.Never mind maybe one day you can teach me one to one. A pleasure to read. Take care. Mary
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Mary, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Emily George
I begin by wanting to live in this idyllic place but then danger arrives.You have created eerie suspense here.
This beautiful flowing tale was spell binding in its eloquent wording and style.
The message clear especially in the powerful ending of the last verse.
I like that light conquers dark and the reference to congregations.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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I begin by wanting to live in this idyllic place but then danger arrives.You have created eerie suspense here.
This beautiful flowing tale was spell binding in its eloquent wording and style.
The message clear especially in the powerful ending of the last verse.
I like that light conquers dark and the reference to congregations.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Emily George, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Craigitar
Nice story poem, Brooke. This reads well with good rhythm and rhyme and has a sprinkling of alliteration throughout to keep reader's interest. Good message: light and happiness is something we control. Good job.
Craig
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Nice story poem, Brooke. This reads well with good rhythm and rhyme and has a sprinkling of alliteration throughout to keep reader's interest. Good message: light and happiness is something we control. Good job.
Craig
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Craig, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Genya
A well deserved six. This was amazing. Fairies, toadstools, fairy dust, I love it. Such a beautiful story poem that both children and adults would love. Magical and mystical which makes me wish I was standing there watching this magical moment unfold. Brilliant. Genya
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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A well deserved six. This was amazing. Fairies, toadstools, fairy dust, I love it. Such a beautiful story poem that both children and adults would love. Magical and mystical which makes me wish I was standing there watching this magical moment unfold. Brilliant. Genya
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Genya, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is amazing and so filled with the poetic tools that make a write more than a delight, but an experience in a sacred moment of magic. When I grow up I want to be just like you LOL. Nicely done and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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This is amazing and so filled with the poetic tools that make a write more than a delight, but an experience in a sacred moment of magic. When I grow up I want to be just like you LOL. Nicely done and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Mystic Angel, thank you so very much for your generous and gracious response to my poem :-) Brooke
