Haiku (Storm of snow)
Contest entry62 total reviews
Comment from Drew Delaney
Congratulations on winning this contest, Neonewman. I thought you did a great job and the picture is spectacular. I just love polar bears and any kind of wild life. Keep it up, my friend.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Congratulations on winning this contest, Neonewman. I thought you did a great job and the picture is spectacular. I just love polar bears and any kind of wild life. Keep it up, my friend.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Thank you Drew, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this piece and have found myself entering and doing well (to my surprise LOL) in the little contests. I hope you will continue to read my work as you have commented on many of them in the past. I appreciate you deeply. God Bless!
Comment from heyjude
Right on with your syllable count of 17.
I like that thought of polar bears dance.
You found a great picture to go with it.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Right on with your syllable count of 17.
I like that thought of polar bears dance.
You found a great picture to go with it.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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thank you heyjude (Only my favorite songs by the beetles) for the excellent review and stars. I am very excited to say, the contest has ended and I was awarded first place. God Bless!
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Wonderful. Congratulations. Judy
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Thank you young lady! God Bless!
Comment from N.K. Wagner
It's perfect. Not a wasted syllable in this traditional 17 syllable haiku. I love the dancing polar bears satori. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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It's perfect. Not a wasted syllable in this traditional 17 syllable haiku. I love the dancing polar bears satori. :) Nancy
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you again Nancy for this incredibly exceptional review. God Bless!
Comment from Cedar
This is a perfect entry for this particular type of contest. The picture that you have selected matches
your words perfectly. I wish you good luck in the contest. Bill
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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This is a perfect entry for this particular type of contest. The picture that you have selected matches
your words perfectly. I wish you good luck in the contest. Bill
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you Bill for the awesome review and excellent stars. God Bless!
Comment from Aussie
Good luck with your contest entry; Polar bears dancing make it real. I liked your Haiku about a snowstorm. It reminded me of kids kicking water in a puddle after the rains have been. I liked the picture that you painted with the bears frolicking in their environment and having fun dancing.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Good luck with your contest entry; Polar bears dancing make it real. I liked your Haiku about a snowstorm. It reminded me of kids kicking water in a puddle after the rains have been. I liked the picture that you painted with the bears frolicking in their environment and having fun dancing.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much Aussie for the excellent review and generous stars. I am so happy that this piece brought happiness to your thoughts. God Bless!
Comment from elizvinod
Beautiful poem. Through your poem you have described neatly the picture of snow and the beautiful nature. Life in snow is the one which seldom remembered. Very good imagination. Keep it Up.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Beautiful poem. Through your poem you have described neatly the picture of snow and the beautiful nature. Life in snow is the one which seldom remembered. Very good imagination. Keep it Up.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you elizvinod for the awesome review and excellent stars. God Bless!
Comment from jackpeg
Have the rules been changed about Haikus? Your syllable count is the required 17, but the traditional form is 5-7-5, not 3-10-4. Beautiful white-lightening photo of the bears going at it. They would be worth a poem of a few more syllables. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Have the rules been changed about Haikus? Your syllable count is the required 17, but the traditional form is 5-7-5, not 3-10-4. Beautiful white-lightening photo of the bears going at it. They would be worth a poem of a few more syllables. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you jackpeg for the review and kind stars. the instructions for this particular Haiku was not 5-7-5 just 17 syllables or less. They stated it did not matter the form or even if it rhymed. God Bless!
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That explains it. I wish they wouldn't monkey around with traditional forms.
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I am relatively new in this site and absolutely love it. I have grown tremendously from the feedback from the family that is fanstory. I honestly did not know what a Haiku was let alone its proper form until your feedback. I appreciate that from you and any other feedback I may receive, this only adds to my growth in my writing abilities. I am happy to say that I can in first with this piece and now have begun to study the true form. God Bless!
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Thanks for the update. Haiku and tanka are interesting forms. Here's one of mine that won a prize locally:
The dry leaves whisper
Telling stories to themselves
In a gust of wind.
Nice chatting with you.
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That is Awesome Jackpeg, this relative to what we are experiencing as fall has arrived. Tanka I will have to look up! I really like the flow of your Haiku at the 5-7-5. I can understand the differences now. God Bless!
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Thanks for giving it a read, Neo, but look up the official definition of the form. Some of the subtle nuances of the art I do not put into mine. Too hard for me.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
This would be a super cute video if there's on youtube or something, hmmm maybe there is. You did a great job with this and I wish you all the best in the contest
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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This would be a super cute video if there's on youtube or something, hmmm maybe there is. You did a great job with this and I wish you all the best in the contest
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you ExperiencingLiphe for the excellent review and stars. I hope there is a video like this out there. God bless!
Comment from Diny
This style of poetry is still a mystery to me I tried my hand at it and really had to concentrate on the whole thing way harder than it seems- three small lines that stump the best of us- good luck! Di
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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This style of poetry is still a mystery to me I tried my hand at it and really had to concentrate on the whole thing way harder than it seems- three small lines that stump the best of us- good luck! Di
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you Diny for the excellent review and stars. Don't give up on this, these little pieces are derived to help us hone our writing skills. God Bless!
Comment from yarnteller
Wintry mix and dancing bears make a good combo for your haiku. Good descriptive wording and syllable count are in order. Well done and good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Wintry mix and dancing bears make a good combo for your haiku. Good descriptive wording and syllable count are in order. Well done and good luck.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you yarnteller for the excellent review and stars. God Bless!
