Sensual Addiction
forgive me24 total reviews
Comment from TheSprite
Mixed emotions. This is beautiful. I don't know whether to cry because he has had to go to this extreme or to sigh because he has gone to this extreme.
I suppose that as a woman I am supposed to be a bit angry at his cheating ass but my heart feels only compassion and sorrow that what he goes home to cannot be as magical to him as Symone.
She feels nothing for him so I don't like her. Good job! :)
His passion and internal torment is probably the only thing that keeps this from being a candidate for Literotica.com. Maybe. Not sure if Literotica has a category that would fit. Maybe they do! :)
Nicely done.
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Mixed emotions. This is beautiful. I don't know whether to cry because he has had to go to this extreme or to sigh because he has gone to this extreme.
I suppose that as a woman I am supposed to be a bit angry at his cheating ass but my heart feels only compassion and sorrow that what he goes home to cannot be as magical to him as Symone.
She feels nothing for him so I don't like her. Good job! :)
His passion and internal torment is probably the only thing that keeps this from being a candidate for Literotica.com. Maybe. Not sure if Literotica has a category that would fit. Maybe they do! :)
Nicely done.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from adewpearl
You get into this guy's lusting mindset effectively
as I can feel his desperate need
once to my shame in wife's bed - in my wife's bed
good descriptive detail of this seductive woman
You convey his conflicted emotions well as he is torn between the need for more sexual release and the deep remorse of a guilty man
Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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You get into this guy's lusting mindset effectively
as I can feel his desperate need
once to my shame in wife's bed - in my wife's bed
good descriptive detail of this seductive woman
You convey his conflicted emotions well as he is torn between the need for more sexual release and the deep remorse of a guilty man
Brooke
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from dennis0530
Not having the strength to stay away is addiction to the core.
One of our human needs is satiation of our wants and desires. Sex, or in this case sensuality is one commodity we men are willing to spend on.
Maybe it is one reason that validates our maleness when we satisfy it. Up to the point of losing our bottom dollar. Maybe to this extreme that we call it something to die for.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Not having the strength to stay away is addiction to the core.
One of our human needs is satiation of our wants and desires. Sex, or in this case sensuality is one commodity we men are willing to spend on.
Maybe it is one reason that validates our maleness when we satisfy it. Up to the point of losing our bottom dollar. Maybe to this extreme that we call it something to die for.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from Leineco
The interesting thing about well written erotica (like this) is that it appeals to both genders on specific levels.
In this case, for the male reader you have appealed to the physical nature of sexuality - the body perfection, the member-centered driving force, the "out-of-my-control" animalism and the ecstasy of ultimate release.
For the female reader you have stroked the desire to be irresistible, the power position of 'puppeteering' (as regards the sex act) and the seductive allure of being helplessly adored.
A powerful concoction! Written with that 'reality suspended' fantasy vibe that makes it visualize-able. Plus, you have used just the right degree of imagery to paint a complete picture, yet done it in a way that allows the reader to overlay their own special details.
Great write :-)
Two quick technical points:
re: a dozens of times before - you need to chose between a dozen times before or dozens of times before (for article/noun grammatical agreement) :-)
re: ...once to my shame in wife's bed, - I believe commas before to and after shame and the insertion my between in and wife's are needed (i.e. ...once, to my shame, in my wife's bed,).
Also, you might consider something like 'in our marriage bed' or 'in the bed vows reserved for my wife' instead of "in my wife's bed" just to reduce the close quarter repetition of my. . .I get the idea of using wife to cover the third leg of the triangle of 'everywhere/anywhere' [my territory (car), neutral territory (hotel rooms) and finally, even her territory (marriage bed) = total surrender] but I think it could be more elegantly stated. Though, as written (per edit), it works smoothly and does not cause reason to pause - it only catches the eye on the extreme close-up of review mode. :-)
I repeat. . .well done :-)
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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The interesting thing about well written erotica (like this) is that it appeals to both genders on specific levels.
In this case, for the male reader you have appealed to the physical nature of sexuality - the body perfection, the member-centered driving force, the "out-of-my-control" animalism and the ecstasy of ultimate release.
For the female reader you have stroked the desire to be irresistible, the power position of 'puppeteering' (as regards the sex act) and the seductive allure of being helplessly adored.
A powerful concoction! Written with that 'reality suspended' fantasy vibe that makes it visualize-able. Plus, you have used just the right degree of imagery to paint a complete picture, yet done it in a way that allows the reader to overlay their own special details.
Great write :-)
Two quick technical points:
re: a dozens of times before - you need to chose between a dozen times before or dozens of times before (for article/noun grammatical agreement) :-)
re: ...once to my shame in wife's bed, - I believe commas before to and after shame and the insertion my between in and wife's are needed (i.e. ...once, to my shame, in my wife's bed,).
Also, you might consider something like 'in our marriage bed' or 'in the bed vows reserved for my wife' instead of "in my wife's bed" just to reduce the close quarter repetition of my. . .I get the idea of using wife to cover the third leg of the triangle of 'everywhere/anywhere' [my territory (car), neutral territory (hotel rooms) and finally, even her territory (marriage bed) = total surrender] but I think it could be more elegantly stated. Though, as written (per edit), it works smoothly and does not cause reason to pause - it only catches the eye on the extreme close-up of review mode. :-)
I repeat. . .well done :-)
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from gailjorben
Whoo! Great description and anticipation to the climax of the story and winding down to the end. I like "a face that a man like me could never kiss for free." I wasn't sure where you were going with the rhymes at the beginning. I thought maybe I was reading a poem. Rhymes were possibly a little distracting. Love the description. Great job.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Whoo! Great description and anticipation to the climax of the story and winding down to the end. I like "a face that a man like me could never kiss for free." I wasn't sure where you were going with the rhymes at the beginning. I thought maybe I was reading a poem. Rhymes were possibly a little distracting. Love the description. Great job.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Adri7enne
Well done, author! Sensual, with its required quota of guilt. What hypocrites we are about sex. You should have a mature warning on this, by the way. LOL! Please God, save me from myself, but just not right now. LOL!
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Well done, author! Sensual, with its required quota of guilt. What hypocrites we are about sex. You should have a mature warning on this, by the way. LOL! Please God, save me from myself, but just not right now. LOL!
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much. Does a Strong Sexual Content warning show on the readers view? If not I will ask Tom about it.
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When you use a mature warning, the reader is warned that the sexual content is for mature readers only and the reader is given a choice of continuing or not. I think if you check the highest number for sexual content the Mature Warning is activated. Anything that describes graphic sexual content probably requires a mature warning.
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The highest box is checked. In the Author's View, I see this over the story, before reading begins:
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of sexual content.
and highest is in bold print.
Is this what the reader sees in their view?
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Yep. That's what the reader sees. I might be wrong in thinking that checking the highest sexual content box will put a Mature warning on a post. There must be another box for that. If you open your post again, under 'edit', and go over all the available choises, you might find one that says "Mature Content Warning." It's been a long time since I've written anything that required it, so I seem to have forgotten how to do it. Sorry!
Comment from drivenbackward
I almost never give six stars for prose. It's just hard to find quality this high. I also think there are only 2-3 writers on this site who can write like this, so I have a pretty good idea who wrote this. And, while past stories I read were very good, this is exceptional. If this doesn't win, I would be shocked. Very engaging. Perfect ending. Well done!
But as my hands reach for her hips, and as I lift her up. I know the truth. -- Comma after 'up'
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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I almost never give six stars for prose. It's just hard to find quality this high. I also think there are only 2-3 writers on this site who can write like this, so I have a pretty good idea who wrote this. And, while past stories I read were very good, this is exceptional. If this doesn't win, I would be shocked. Very engaging. Perfect ending. Well done!
But as my hands reach for her hips, and as I lift her up. I know the truth. -- Comma after 'up'
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from lakeport
Sensual addition, indeed that's a very romantic and sensual story, good luck at the contest. I enjoyed reading it. God bless you.Lakeport,
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Sensual addition, indeed that's a very romantic and sensual story, good luck at the contest. I enjoyed reading it. God bless you.Lakeport,
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
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your welcome.lakeport.
Comment from Benjohnsonjr
A very erotic read. Truth be told this is actually a lot of marriages, which is sad. As far as the story goes it was engaging. I have to say at the beginning I thought we were going to find out that he's fantasising or watching pornography.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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A very erotic read. Truth be told this is actually a lot of marriages, which is sad. As far as the story goes it was engaging. I have to say at the beginning I thought we were going to find out that he's fantasising or watching pornography.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from onebrit
A very erotic read as I'm sure you meant it to be. Part of me feels so sorry for the wife sitting at home waiting for him. But what pleasure he has found, even if he has to pay for it in more ways than one. Well written
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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A very erotic read as I'm sure you meant it to be. Part of me feels so sorry for the wife sitting at home waiting for him. But what pleasure he has found, even if he has to pay for it in more ways than one. Well written
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
