Reviews from

A Functional Drunk

A character study

24 total reviews 
Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well written, enjoyable story, Quite ironic really that his family liked him better when he was a drunk and were totally unaware that he was teetotal. Well narrated, good dialogue, good strong story line and interesting characters. Faye

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Thanks so much.
Comment from sibhus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yep, I don't know which end of the stick you were on the alcoholic, or the family memeber, but you really got this down pat. Excellent description that really show the stuation, I don't know how many times I have seen families break up after Daddy gets somber and isn't any fun anymore, or is not predictable anymore. At times i have thought about writng my own experiences down, but i have always thought no one would be interested in that crap, but this proves me wrong. This was a very interesting, well written story that was entertaing.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Everyone should write their own story. While this isn't mine, the underlying emotions are not strangers.
Comment from donaldww
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Reflections of a crotchety drunk, sober enough, at the moment, to share his thoughts. Thus the title "Functional Drunk."

But the narrator quickly proves his functionality to be unreliable "I'm in the middle of an intervention and not one of these bastards realize I've been sober for forty days and forty nights."

He has no insight into why he needs intervention. The forty nights quip shows he has a Jesus complex.

"Who was I kidding? I've been self-medicating for decades--and it worked--for everybody. And sober--it's not working for anyone."

More faulty logic. Obviously he has no inkling of what everyone around him was going through.

"You're an asshole, Jerry." seems to sum him up quite nicely.

Excellent job!

Cheers,
DW


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    You seem to have some experience with this world. This character suffers deep and chronic depression and has hidden it for years, especially from himself. Sobreity doesn't give him a second chance. Thanks.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I loved this because it was real. The whole 'it's not working for anyone' that was genius. Jerry's voice was true and I could picture everything about him. Thirteen year olds are hard to take and I could empathize with him. This was one of your best and that's saying something. Great work. Gretchen

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Thank you for the many stars and kind words. I decided to get inside the heads of a few characters that might show up in future stories, and take stock of who they are.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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This is an extremely sad story. His brave effort went un-noticed by his family. His wife seemed to like him drunk better than sober. What a shame she didn't support him. I take it at the end he has decided to take his own life in the garage. He was a very unhappy man. Good story. Nancy

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Many thanks for the kind words, especially for a sad story.
Comment from emrpoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You certainly gave an excellent account of an alcoholic's life. It is amazing how people never take the time to assess anything. They fall into a habit just like the drunk does, only theirs is the habit of ridicule. With a little acknowledgement of his improvement things could have moved forward in the right direction. Well written and held my attention throughout

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Thanks so much for all those stars. I appreciate the read.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellently penned! What a surprise; a man finally gets sober and no one likes his sober personality. No longer anesthesized, he says what's on his mind, alienating everyone. You do such a great job of portraying a disappointing marriage and life. The cheating teenager; funny and sad all at once. A wonderfully complete story in an economy of words. Very well done!

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Sobreity might work for person, but often doesn't really work for those around him that don't like the new guy. Thanks for the stars and the read.
Comment from gypsycaravan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow. What a fabulous piece of writing. Absolutely NO spag to distract the reading. Metaphors and clever descriptions scattered liberally throughout the entire piece. The first two paragraphs are classic-terrific writing. I have an alcoholic stepson (recently deceased from alcohol at age 57) who was the same. His sober periods were so lonely because no one liked his personality then, so his drinking became necessary to him in order to fit in and be personally acceptable to others. So sad. I am in awe of the writing.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    It happens more often than not that the sober individual has no common ground with people who have only known him drunk. Thanks for the generous stars.
reply by gypsycaravan on 12-Oct-2014
    You are quite welcome and deserving.
Comment from Diny
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

No that was sad.... I can imagine it to be truth for someone, and your observations were exquisitely expressed. Bravo!
I had to go back and look if it was a contest piece - Nope just good solid prose!

Write on my pleasure to have stumbled upon this one tonight-
Di

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Yes, it is a sad story, but more common than most people can imagine. Thanks.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You've done a great job of getting inside the head of a man who gives up the drinking that's made his life almost tolerable to find life is worse when he's sober. Suicide is the logical next step and he's about to take it.

Your narration and dialog shift through time and space flawlessly. Professional stuff, Ingrid. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
    Thanks so much for the generous stars. Enjoy the beach.