Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Private Talks & Persian Sightings"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
22 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
Another good chapter, it will be interesting to see how the priest and the Dr come to terms with each other. Interesting philosophical discussions. Great story, most enjoyable. Faye
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Another good chapter, it will be interesting to see how the priest and the Dr come to terms with each other. Interesting philosophical discussions. Great story, most enjoyable. Faye
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from Loren (7)
Isn't it interesting how a dialogue between two people can lead to profound revelations. i.e., between Rastavius and Leopold. Although I still need to do some thinking about ending a life simply because of "pain" or not being able to perform ... I'm so compassionate and empathetic in this way.
Thought Cassius was very clever indeed:) Loren
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Isn't it interesting how a dialogue between two people can lead to profound revelations. i.e., between Rastavius and Leopold. Although I still need to do some thinking about ending a life simply because of "pain" or not being able to perform ... I'm so compassionate and empathetic in this way.
Thought Cassius was very clever indeed:) Loren
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from onebrit
Beautiful picture, its very medieval looking in a way. I really enjoyed this chapter. The dialogue, both internal thoughts and external vocalizations are great. Well developed, believable characters. That Julia is quite the girl!
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Beautiful picture, its very medieval looking in a way. I really enjoyed this chapter. The dialogue, both internal thoughts and external vocalizations are great. Well developed, believable characters. That Julia is quite the girl!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
It's obvious you're paying special attention to this story, Mikey. For the second time in a row, I didn't find one error. Furthermore, I honestly got lost in the chapter (in a good way), feeling like I was holding the book of a professional author. Very well done.
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It's obvious you're paying special attention to this story, Mikey. For the second time in a row, I didn't find one error. Furthermore, I honestly got lost in the chapter (in a good way), feeling like I was holding the book of a professional author. Very well done.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from Sankey
Good chapter sort of sort of ha. Can see some connections with the other story a while back. Keep up the good work. No spags this time surprise surprise!
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Good chapter sort of sort of ha. Can see some connections with the other story a while back. Keep up the good work. No spags this time surprise surprise!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
So many of this type of occurrence daily and science proceeds to try to explain it all away. Children who can play an instrument masterfully from the time they can walk, children who have nightmares about actual events in the past, children who can speak a foreign language when they learn to talk. It is amazing so many refuse to believe in reincarnation. Your story is marvelous to me. I've never read one tracking lives back so many centuries. It will be interesting to see how much trouble Leopold can cause for Valerius and Julia. Nice work, mikey.
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So many of this type of occurrence daily and science proceeds to try to explain it all away. Children who can play an instrument masterfully from the time they can walk, children who have nightmares about actual events in the past, children who can speak a foreign language when they learn to talk. It is amazing so many refuse to believe in reincarnation. Your story is marvelous to me. I've never read one tracking lives back so many centuries. It will be interesting to see how much trouble Leopold can cause for Valerius and Julia. Nice work, mikey.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from adewpearl
Interesting comparison with the horse who can no longer be a horse
Woman and children, brother - Women
eyed him with distrust and scrutiny - good use of non-verbal communication to enhance this emotionally-charged conversation
Brooke
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Interesting comparison with the horse who can no longer be a horse
Woman and children, brother - Women
eyed him with distrust and scrutiny - good use of non-verbal communication to enhance this emotionally-charged conversation
Brooke
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Another chapter of excellent detailed dialogue. So much revealed about the characters as well as the general way of thinking bsck then. A great story wrapped in a history lesson strengthened with a philosophical debate. Yeah!!!
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Another chapter of excellent detailed dialogue. So much revealed about the characters as well as the general way of thinking bsck then. A great story wrapped in a history lesson strengthened with a philosophical debate. Yeah!!!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
CLose one. Julia knows Cassius is lying. That's good, I guess. But what can SHE do? She's just a girl, and if Leopold gets to her... tense stuff here! DON'T HURT HER, please. :)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2014
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CLose one. Julia knows Cassius is lying. That's good, I guess. But what can SHE do? She's just a girl, and if Leopold gets to her... tense stuff here! DON'T HURT HER, please. :)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2014
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Her position in society just bugs me to death!!! Women have always been wrongly kept down and I hate it. But, I still have to keep the story real. I don't think she'll get hurt. Most of the nice female characters are based on women I've been madly in love with, so it's difficult for me to let harm come to them!! But then, she goes straight to Heaven and is always just fine... until the next miserable existence I give her. Hahaha.
Comment from Jay Squires
They are won't to repair [They are WONT to repair >> no apostrophe.]
there is little content for it as well. [I don't know that "content" is the best word. Perhaps "quality" or something showing the type of content.]
"Yes, of course, it is a most human and compassionate act. [a most HUMANE...]
thought of a cure or a miracle treatment may cloud their thinking." [may cloud HIS thinking.]
finding it unreasonable and not to their liking. [not to HIS liking >> the subject is A CHILD.]
must see to it that Valerius receive education [see to it that Valerius RECEIVES education >> Valerius is subject, receives the object.]
horse that has rode in its last battle. [has RIDDEN in its last battle.]
How interesting! Julia speaks Persian and seems to be knowledgeable about slavery. Velly Intrestink!
Hey, Mikey. sorry about the deduction, but I have to be consistent in my reviewing. Your content is among the best on Fan Story, but there seemed to be more carelessness today in how you executed it. However, I'll do what I do for anyone else I deduct a star from: as soon as you let me know the changes have been made, I'll return the star. Fair enough? And, thanks for understanding.
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Here, catch Mikey! I do understand the human/humane angle.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2014
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They are won't to repair [They are WONT to repair >> no apostrophe.]
there is little content for it as well. [I don't know that "content" is the best word. Perhaps "quality" or something showing the type of content.]
"Yes, of course, it is a most human and compassionate act. [a most HUMANE...]
thought of a cure or a miracle treatment may cloud their thinking." [may cloud HIS thinking.]
finding it unreasonable and not to their liking. [not to HIS liking >> the subject is A CHILD.]
must see to it that Valerius receive education [see to it that Valerius RECEIVES education >> Valerius is subject, receives the object.]
horse that has rode in its last battle. [has RIDDEN in its last battle.]
How interesting! Julia speaks Persian and seems to be knowledgeable about slavery. Velly Intrestink!
Hey, Mikey. sorry about the deduction, but I have to be consistent in my reviewing. Your content is among the best on Fan Story, but there seemed to be more carelessness today in how you executed it. However, I'll do what I do for anyone else I deduct a star from: as soon as you let me know the changes have been made, I'll return the star. Fair enough? And, thanks for understanding.
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Here, catch Mikey! I do understand the human/humane angle.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2014
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No problem at all. I think I may be going overboard trying to emulate speech in 500 AD. I'll be going to "edit" shortly. I appreciate the corrections. You should have seen how poor my SPAG was when I started. I'm so pleased that I have actually come this far. I never thought I would make any headway. Giving the reasons like you do is SOOOO appreciated. That helps it stick! I think that maybe "humane" might not be a word that was available in 500AD. Yes? Agree with ridden even though it is dialogue. She does have a lot of knowledge of past lives etc. She would speak correctly. I am delighted you like the content. That would bring a smile even if you gave me a one!! Thanks again, mikey
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I made all of those changes. I did feel that "human" was a better choice than "humane" though. "Humane" just seems modern for some reason. Could be me. If I get a couple more mentions perhaps I'll reconsider. mikey
