Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "She said..."A collection of poems on these themes
23 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
This is a delightful old fashioned poem in good rondeau form. I always enjoy this style. I liked the mood established early and carried consistently through to the end. A sad tale but somehow lightly told as seems appropriate for a youthful man with plenty of fish in the sea. Good writing.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
  |
This is a delightful old fashioned poem in good rondeau form. I always enjoy this style. I liked the mood established early and carried consistently through to the end. A sad tale but somehow lightly told as seems appropriate for a youthful man with plenty of fish in the sea. Good writing.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed this piece of fun. I'm still wondering where other reviewers found deep thought and a strong message...
-
HaHaHa... we have to wonder sometimes, don't we?
Comment from kiwijenny
I love the accent...but the term for a woman as a it of fluff is yucky to me...
Went off with El CID I think you should be glad she did
So you are no longer one broke bloke
God bless
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
I love the accent...but the term for a woman as a it of fluff is yucky to me...
Went off with El CID I think you should be glad she did
So you are no longer one broke bloke
God bless
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thanks, Jenny
Perhaps the whole 'affair' was a bit yucky.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I enjoyed the intentional misspellings and accents to accentuate your protagonists voice in this rondeau entry, Mystery Poet. I felt it lent an air of authenticity to the piece, and I didn't find it a distraction in the least. The crush of a teenage heart, when broken, feels as real to those who go through it as does any form of unrequited love.
Well done, and best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
I enjoyed the intentional misspellings and accents to accentuate your protagonists voice in this rondeau entry, Mystery Poet. I felt it lent an air of authenticity to the piece, and I didn't find it a distraction in the least. The crush of a teenage heart, when broken, feels as real to those who go through it as does any form of unrequited love.
Well done, and best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thanks, Dean.
I remember it well!
-
You're welcome, and so do I! :(
Comment from mauial
She said she loved me, yes, she did
and so I did as I was bid.
I bought her baubles, precious stuff,
It seemed she couldn't get enough.
I must have spent, ohh.... fifty quid.
That's what happens when you wear rose colored glasses. All you see is what you want to see and so you do things accordingly.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
She said she loved me, yes, she did
and so I did as I was bid.
I bought her baubles, precious stuff,
It seemed she couldn't get enough.
I must have spent, ohh.... fifty quid.
That's what happens when you wear rose colored glasses. All you see is what you want to see and so you do things accordingly.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thank you.
Yup, I'm ditching those glasses tomorrow!
Comment from tbacha58
An excellent poem! This poem is heart felt and deep. The author's words are strong, creative and thought provoking.
The reader pondered on the words of this poem. The artwork is perfect and reflects the feelings conveyed throughout this poem. Good luck. Terry
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
An excellent poem! This poem is heart felt and deep. The author's words are strong, creative and thought provoking.
The reader pondered on the words of this poem. The artwork is perfect and reflects the feelings conveyed throughout this poem. Good luck. Terry
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thanks, Terry, glad you enjoyed.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your picture is perfect with your words. I like the large print (no I do not need glasses). I like the rhyme pattern. I am guessing that "wiv" means with. Personally I would change that word. However, that is the way this person in the poem probably speaks. So no change really needed. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
Your picture is perfect with your words. I like the large print (no I do not need glasses). I like the rhyme pattern. I am guessing that "wiv" means with. Personally I would change that word. However, that is the way this person in the poem probably speaks. So no change really needed. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Dawny53
Excellent write.. so nice to see these entries that are truly worth reading. The rondeau is a little tricky in my opinion but you certainly pulled it off well. I really enjoyed reading it, nice work, and good luck to you..
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
Excellent write.. so nice to see these entries that are truly worth reading. The rondeau is a little tricky in my opinion but you certainly pulled it off well. I really enjoyed reading it, nice work, and good luck to you..
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thanks, Dawny - glad you enjoyed.
Comment from James Dooney
Ah yes the womans trick !!! Get you to buy all and sundry for them and then they dump u !!! There is a lesson to be learned there huh !
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
Ah yes the womans trick !!! Get you to buy all and sundry for them and then they dump u !!! There is a lesson to be learned there huh !
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Accidental misogyny for the sake of the poem. All women are wonderful creatures really.
Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from mikemagine
Quite a poem. heartbroken teen, eh? Well, if she's THAT beautiful, it's no wonder! Crushes are rough. Too often I've had them. Crushes on teachers. This HS English teacher...She was stunning! And quite married:(
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
Quite a poem. heartbroken teen, eh? Well, if she's THAT beautiful, it's no wonder! Crushes are rough. Too often I've had them. Crushes on teachers. This HS English teacher...She was stunning! And quite married:(
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thank you!
I had a gorgeous French teacher - single too. And then she went and married the bloody PE teacher who didn't have a single good quality to recommend him!
-
Whoa! That...is not good. But, don't we know this world is so often not fair.
Peace,
Mike
Comment from Keith Argyle
A very well executed poem for the contest entry. It flowed well and the mood came over very well. It also makes one relate to the crazy things we do when we think someone loves us then you find out that you were being used. I have been there, it's not very nice and kills your ego a little. It flowed very well and I think it could do well. Keith.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
|
A very well executed poem for the contest entry. It flowed well and the mood came over very well. It also makes one relate to the crazy things we do when we think someone loves us then you find out that you were being used. I have been there, it's not very nice and kills your ego a little. It flowed very well and I think it could do well. Keith.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
-
Thank you.
Just a bit of fun, really.
-
You are welcome, keep going. Keith.
