Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Ah, Young love. My 16 year old grandson is going through this. Some teen age girls can be so thoughtless. LOL Well done. Love the English accent, Steve. Well done.
Nancy:)

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020

Hi, Nancy. Looks like you've been poking around in my portfolio. Be careful! You never know what you may find in there!

In any case, many thanks for the review. Yes there is some sadness here at the naivete of young love and it's interesting you make the connection to your grandson. A broken heart at that age is perhaps more recoverable...

Steve

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

I just want to congratulate you on your win with Mystic angel you both deserved to win as two great entries deserved the numerous votes.

Mary

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2014

Thanks, Mary.

It was pretty exciting for a two-horse race!

Steve

Comment from granny goes viral

Excellent

Oh, this is so cute. Especially with the accent. Quick charming read. Good job. That's it, there ain't no more.
Yada, yada, yada, yada, and yada.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014

Thanks, Granny.

I am still scratching my head how some reviewers found this to be quite deep and meaningful - it took all of ten minutes to write and is purely for fun!

Steve

reply by granny goes viral on 05-Oct-2014

Really? No kidding? I have a feeling they aren't really reading...ummm. Just looking for FAKE MONEY. I thought it was funny. Funny is better 'n money.

Comment from PatVallesMangan

Excellent

I like the way that you kept to the format of the Rondeau. It is a unique form and reading this make me want to attempt one! For a teenager and an experienced woman, this poem spells it out. The picture does as well. The language changes as he shows more of who he really is and his true age. That is a nice device to show him becoming real again. Maybe it's me, a teacher, but I think "WIV" might take the point a bit too far. Might you want to rethink that word. It takes something from an otherwise nice poem about a teenager who has bee used by that experienced older woman. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014

Thanks, Pat.

I am a teacher too and I would be happy to see a student creative enough to include an indication of a cockney accent in a piece of writing. Of course I would want to be certain that he did know how to spell 'with' first!

In this case I am not worried about the reality of the poem - it is just a piece of humour tossed off in about 5 minutes...

Steve

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Oh! It can never feel good to be played for a fool and your heart broken.
Perfect Rondeau format and excellent choice of repeated lines.
Very thoughtful and well written.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

What an absolutely charming poem! The dialect really works, and the whole premise is adorable. I especially liked the protagonist calling his lady love a bit of fluff. (*smiling broadly*)

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014

Only one reviewer found 'a bit of fluff' a bit yucky. It's not me, it's the character!

Thanks for the warm review.

Steve

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi,

Spot on artwork for your poem. Gives the reader for a feel of the era. She appears to be a 'player' with a man's emotion.

Good story poem. Nicely presented. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2014

Thanks, Jax!

Steve

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

A fun story about your bit of fluff running off and leaving you behind--and after you spend all your hard earned money, too. It is hard to complete with El Cid, though. He probably had tons more money. Excellent rondeau form. Goof luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2014

Ah, that El Cid, he is one mean hombre!

Thanks for the warm words.

Steve

Comment from CHIGYSISKI

Excellent

Nice entry for the contest.My favorite lines were:

And now she's bloody gone and hid.
When I found out I flipped my lid.
I tell yer, this is jolly rough.
She said she loved me...
Best of luck!

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2014

Thanks for the kind review.

Steve

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

Ahh, yes, every lad meets at least on gold-digging user. This is a funny poem set to the Rondeau standard and brings to mind many situations of such a misuse of a young man's heart.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014

Thanks for the kind words.