Fog
Halloween-inspired poem NOT for children130 total reviews
Comment from Pili Pubul
This is an astounding poem where truth and wisdom is beautifully
expressed. I cannot agree with you more, life has teach me what you said.
Most of us will have good and bad times regardless, and is cruel to put the weight of guilt when is none... Bravo ...
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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This is an astounding poem where truth and wisdom is beautifully
expressed. I cannot agree with you more, life has teach me what you said.
Most of us will have good and bad times regardless, and is cruel to put the weight of guilt when is none... Bravo ...
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Pili, thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
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You are very welcome... ;:-). Pili
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
The picture is stunning. I understand the author notes. Your poem has good flow. I see nothing to suggest changes. I like the last verse with all the things you said about how t life your life. I understand too that being good, as you say, will not exempt one from life's circumstances. I like how you used this idea and fog to tell your story. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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The picture is stunning. I understand the author notes. Your poem has good flow. I see nothing to suggest changes. I like the last verse with all the things you said about how t life your life. I understand too that being good, as you say, will not exempt one from life's circumstances. I like how you used this idea and fog to tell your story. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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thank you so much, jannypan :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
Where one ends is determined the path travels from the beginning. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Where one ends is determined the path travels from the beginning. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Charlie, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from Glasstruth
Fate, is it free will, or a destiny out of our control? As you write in your author notes, religion does not need to be a part of this question. You start this off very interestingly with fog and that no one cares what the screamers did. Like the rhyming, seems a bit different. Very thought provoking. Les
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Fate, is it free will, or a destiny out of our control? As you write in your author notes, religion does not need to be a part of this question. You start this off very interestingly with fog and that no one cares what the screamers did. Like the rhyming, seems a bit different. Very thought provoking. Les
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Les :-) Brooke
Comment from Curly Girly
Another good poem, Brooke. This didn't make sense to me:
Be sinner or be saintly soul,
there is no way to take control
of if you're swallowed or you're not
*Is OF a typo?
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Another good poem, Brooke. This didn't make sense to me:
Be sinner or be saintly soul,
there is no way to take control
of if you're swallowed or you're not
*Is OF a typo?
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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take control of something - it's not a typo :-)
Thanks so much Curly Girl, for your review :-) Brooke
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ok...
Comment from Dawn Munro
First - to your author's notes-KUDOS! I AGREE 100%. Now to your poem (and I didn't need the author's notes to interpret it, but I know EXACTLY why you did it, as you can probably tell by my first two sentences).
Brooke, it's brilliant, and sage advice for anyone who MIGHT listen...(to the metaphoric call of 'beware')
It's entertaining to those who won't get the underlying meaning - mood, drama, tone, all of it (including, of course, the technical aspects).
You're tops in my book, my friend. I'd award six stars to everything you write if I could. *******************!!! (none left again)
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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First - to your author's notes-KUDOS! I AGREE 100%. Now to your poem (and I didn't need the author's notes to interpret it, but I know EXACTLY why you did it, as you can probably tell by my first two sentences).
Brooke, it's brilliant, and sage advice for anyone who MIGHT listen...(to the metaphoric call of 'beware')
It's entertaining to those who won't get the underlying meaning - mood, drama, tone, all of it (including, of course, the technical aspects).
You're tops in my book, my friend. I'd award six stars to everything you write if I could. *******************!!! (none left again)
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Dawn, thank you so much :-) Yep, I wrote the notes to ward off having to hear a dozen folks give me assurances about God and eventual justice. Brooke :-)
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LOL. I would write them too. :) Just wait 'til you see the next chapter of Trouble- OH MAN, I sure hope I'm not opening Pandora's box...(LOL)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
"Be kind, be faithful, and be fair,
but even then you must beware
that fog is never ours to spurn,
nor can a pass from fate be earned." - Love this summation. I got it without the notes as what webs we spin become the way in which tomorrow begins. This is eloquent and deeply meaningful - at least for me. Thank you so much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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"Be kind, be faithful, and be fair,
but even then you must beware
that fog is never ours to spurn,
nor can a pass from fate be earned." - Love this summation. I got it without the notes as what webs we spin become the way in which tomorrow begins. This is eloquent and deeply meaningful - at least for me. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Mystic Angel, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from RodG
I enjoyed your poem and your "little rant," Brooke. As I read your poem, I was thinking of mythology and all the thick fogs great fogs heroes like Jason and Odysseus had to travel through. They, too, had to be reminded of who they were and to be "kind, faithful and good."
"Within the dark the sinners shout as do the brave, bold and stout'" reminds me of Odyseus's trip to Hades where the shades and Achilles shouted at him.
Anyway, I enjoyed the poem very much. Rod
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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I enjoyed your poem and your "little rant," Brooke. As I read your poem, I was thinking of mythology and all the thick fogs great fogs heroes like Jason and Odysseus had to travel through. They, too, had to be reminded of who they were and to be "kind, faithful and good."
"Within the dark the sinners shout as do the brave, bold and stout'" reminds me of Odyseus's trip to Hades where the shades and Achilles shouted at him.
Anyway, I enjoyed the poem very much. Rod
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Rod, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Some of the very best people I have ever met fall victim to terrible diseases
Good poem, first of all. Secondly, your notes are most welcome. I'm not claiming to be one of the best, or even a "good" person, but I am not a smoker and I was physically active and ate right, kept my weight just where it should be... did everything I should have, and I still ended up with emphysema, a death sentence that will rob me of at least ten years of what should have been my life, and it's nearing the final years now. I'm pissed, frankly. Life is so unfair, as your poem states. Not all are caught in the fog, and some avoid it altogether even though they've been smokers and are overweight and sedentary. It's the luck of the draw, and I've never been lucky at gambling.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Some of the very best people I have ever met fall victim to terrible diseases
Good poem, first of all. Secondly, your notes are most welcome. I'm not claiming to be one of the best, or even a "good" person, but I am not a smoker and I was physically active and ate right, kept my weight just where it should be... did everything I should have, and I still ended up with emphysema, a death sentence that will rob me of at least ten years of what should have been my life, and it's nearing the final years now. I'm pissed, frankly. Life is so unfair, as your poem states. Not all are caught in the fog, and some avoid it altogether even though they've been smokers and are overweight and sedentary. It's the luck of the draw, and I've never been lucky at gambling.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Phyllis - yes, I'm sure each and everyone of us knows people who did not "deserve" what happened to them, the list would take up reams of paper. And still, many folks think the good people, the faithful prayers, those who win favor with God, are the ones who are healed, the ones with miracle cures, the ones who don't get on that plane at the last second... My mother died when I was in second grade. What the bleep bleep bleep could I have possibly done to piss God off so that He said no to my prayers, and I prayed lots of them. Well, nothing, which is when it dawned on me, all those years ago, that bad stuff truly does happen randomly, fate, not what people merit or don't merit. Brooke :-)
Comment from Drew Delaney
I agree with you totally, Brooke. And that type of preaching turns people off. My uncle was only 59 when he died from an asthma attack. He sure was tested with not being able to work, losing his carpentry job (due to illness) which was his living.
I am a believer, but more the Mother Theresa type, where you give and not hoard. Her life is my inspiration. Thanks for sharing your rant and lovely poem.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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I agree with you totally, Brooke. And that type of preaching turns people off. My uncle was only 59 when he died from an asthma attack. He sure was tested with not being able to work, losing his carpentry job (due to illness) which was his living.
I am a believer, but more the Mother Theresa type, where you give and not hoard. Her life is my inspiration. Thanks for sharing your rant and lovely poem.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Drew, thank you so much :-) I appreciate your sharing that with me :-) Brooke
