Domestic Violence and Mass Hypocrisy
Let's talk about it.55 total reviews
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
I don't know what kind of responses you got to this, but believe it or not, I as a woman, 100% agree with all that is written here.
It is unfair that Ray Rice was singled out to be the scapegoat for all the DV that has taken place by player in the NFL. Brandon Marshall was arrested 10x! He was never prosecuted and there are no videos, so nothing happened. He has since gotten help and has a foundation to help with DV, which I'm happy about as I like him, he's a great player.
Anyway the one thing that is no doubt the biggest contributor to DV is what? Alcohol of course and who is the biggest advertiser for the NFL? Alcohol right? Funny how that was just ignored. If they really want to make a difference, quit advertising alcohol, quit encouraging fans to get drunk by serving it at games and allowing tailgate parties where fans are already plastered before the games even start.
Mr Rice needs to sue that hotel for releasing the video and the NFL for revising their punishment. As my brother said, You don't give someone a $300 speeding ticket then the next day go back and say, we're raising the fine and putting you in jail for a month.
Something did need to change concerning the DV that goes on in the NFL and I am glad to see it being taken more seriously. But Ray Rice is a scapegoat, if he had been a habitual abuser I'd say okay he deserves this, but there is no evidence that he is and I don't believe him to be.
It's very sad, one really stupid mistake and your whole life is ruined thanks to alcohol. I hope they both stop drinking at least.
Anyway well said. Hope you do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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I don't know what kind of responses you got to this, but believe it or not, I as a woman, 100% agree with all that is written here.
It is unfair that Ray Rice was singled out to be the scapegoat for all the DV that has taken place by player in the NFL. Brandon Marshall was arrested 10x! He was never prosecuted and there are no videos, so nothing happened. He has since gotten help and has a foundation to help with DV, which I'm happy about as I like him, he's a great player.
Anyway the one thing that is no doubt the biggest contributor to DV is what? Alcohol of course and who is the biggest advertiser for the NFL? Alcohol right? Funny how that was just ignored. If they really want to make a difference, quit advertising alcohol, quit encouraging fans to get drunk by serving it at games and allowing tailgate parties where fans are already plastered before the games even start.
Mr Rice needs to sue that hotel for releasing the video and the NFL for revising their punishment. As my brother said, You don't give someone a $300 speeding ticket then the next day go back and say, we're raising the fine and putting you in jail for a month.
Something did need to change concerning the DV that goes on in the NFL and I am glad to see it being taken more seriously. But Ray Rice is a scapegoat, if he had been a habitual abuser I'd say okay he deserves this, but there is no evidence that he is and I don't believe him to be.
It's very sad, one really stupid mistake and your whole life is ruined thanks to alcohol. I hope they both stop drinking at least.
Anyway well said. Hope you do well in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much. It would be interesting to see the NFL or the DV advocacy groups blame and attack Alcohol. I don't think they would get any listeners or even play on the media. Too many people drink. It crosses all borders and types of people.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, lancellot
I think this is an excellent entry for the contest. Your essay is very well arranged to present anecdotal material, personal insights and references that are carefully included in the Author's notes. Not easy to put together a polished essay, but you've done that. So, good luck!
Now to the content. I was a battered child. So, I have had to live with the consequences. My sister, also a battered child, went on to marry a man who did the same. Sometimes the message you are putting out is due to what you think you deserve.
I recently watched a show about an asylum. One of the charge nurses said the most violent wing in the asylum was the women's ward, BY FAR. My own theory is that women have been forced to sublimate and push down their own aggressive feelings for centuries and often exhibit a subversive way of letting that energy out: Classic passive/aggressive.
Finally, I think that the surface reaction to this issue reveals the public still doesn't fully understand the dynamics of why certain people choose others. Again, based on my experience, folks tend to go with what they know.
Bev
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Hi, lancellot
I think this is an excellent entry for the contest. Your essay is very well arranged to present anecdotal material, personal insights and references that are carefully included in the Author's notes. Not easy to put together a polished essay, but you've done that. So, good luck!
Now to the content. I was a battered child. So, I have had to live with the consequences. My sister, also a battered child, went on to marry a man who did the same. Sometimes the message you are putting out is due to what you think you deserve.
I recently watched a show about an asylum. One of the charge nurses said the most violent wing in the asylum was the women's ward, BY FAR. My own theory is that women have been forced to sublimate and push down their own aggressive feelings for centuries and often exhibit a subversive way of letting that energy out: Classic passive/aggressive.
Finally, I think that the surface reaction to this issue reveals the public still doesn't fully understand the dynamics of why certain people choose others. Again, based on my experience, folks tend to go with what they know.
Bev
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much. The female prisons are far more terrible than the male prisons. But, the media, in movies and TV hides this. Emotions are very powerful
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Indeed, they are. You're welcome! :)
Comment from mfowler
This is a strident and very well argued call for justice to be dealt out based on the individual facts of a case. It looks to one case in particular to support the injustice meted out in the case by law, public opinion, and the media. I admire the depth of research and the methodical way in which you've pitched your arguments. Your own experiences are included to support personal opinion, but you don't let that fog the objectivity which you maintain reasonably well considering the verve with which you express yourself. I don't know the case you talk of, but similar high profile sports stars have been involved in cases here. They always polarise opinion and the media feeds off the interest. Unfortunately, such cases caqn taint the course of justice for less prominent people. The issue is also a fluid one, in which morality is often a fashion of the time or the byproduct of media hype. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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This is a strident and very well argued call for justice to be dealt out based on the individual facts of a case. It looks to one case in particular to support the injustice meted out in the case by law, public opinion, and the media. I admire the depth of research and the methodical way in which you've pitched your arguments. Your own experiences are included to support personal opinion, but you don't let that fog the objectivity which you maintain reasonably well considering the verve with which you express yourself. I don't know the case you talk of, but similar high profile sports stars have been involved in cases here. They always polarise opinion and the media feeds off the interest. Unfortunately, such cases caqn taint the course of justice for less prominent people. The issue is also a fluid one, in which morality is often a fashion of the time or the byproduct of media hype. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from pbroussard209
I actually enjoyed this piece. I know many women who provoke men into hitting them, my sister included. She actually hit her husband over the head with a frying pan and he had to go to the hospital. She was not charged, but they did charge him for hitting her back. They are divorced now, which is a good thing they did not bring out the best in each other, lol.
I did have to research Emmett Till, I had never heard of that incident. But then again I'm from California where they tend to sugar coat things so as not to upset the delicate sensibilities of children, They like to maintain their beliefs that all is well in the world even when it is crumbling down around them. I find California to be a cookie cutter state and if something doesn't fit into their perfect mold they discard it. We didn't even learn about the bad things that happened in our own state. (the work camps during the depression, the Japanese camps of WWII or the deplorable conditions of the gold rush towns, and the numerous murders. I learned about all that as an adult reading and on TV. I know, I'm off topic, Sorry.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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I actually enjoyed this piece. I know many women who provoke men into hitting them, my sister included. She actually hit her husband over the head with a frying pan and he had to go to the hospital. She was not charged, but they did charge him for hitting her back. They are divorced now, which is a good thing they did not bring out the best in each other, lol.
I did have to research Emmett Till, I had never heard of that incident. But then again I'm from California where they tend to sugar coat things so as not to upset the delicate sensibilities of children, They like to maintain their beliefs that all is well in the world even when it is crumbling down around them. I find California to be a cookie cutter state and if something doesn't fit into their perfect mold they discard it. We didn't even learn about the bad things that happened in our own state. (the work camps during the depression, the Japanese camps of WWII or the deplorable conditions of the gold rush towns, and the numerous murders. I learned about all that as an adult reading and on TV. I know, I'm off topic, Sorry.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much. Yes, Illinois has a similar problem. The local news is so white washed, it's terrible. I don't think in depth history is even taught in schools here.
Comment from adewpearl
You always make your points with clarity and conviction and it is clear you have thought about and researched your topics, so that while I don't agree with all your points, I do believe you make them well.
And you do make some points I agree with - like avoiding the kind of behavior that puts one in danger. I complain to my daughter all the time about the stupidity of women who get beaten/raped/killed while walking/jogging alone at night - this kind of incident makes the news quite often. Of course no woman deserves to be attacked, but what idiocy is it in this world to jog alone in a park after dark? Recently a young female doctor was attacked while walking home alone from a local pub after spending time with friends - well after midnight. What did she expect would happen?? Nobody has ever hauled off and punched me in an elevator, and I've never gotten into a drunken, name-calling, spitting kind of argument with anyone either. We reach a point of disagreement about whether he is more guilty or not when he punched her with the force of a pro athlete, but I do agree she placed herself in a kind of danger that she really could have avoided. This case is not like the wife who gets punched for burning the dinner. Your essay is thought provoking. Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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You always make your points with clarity and conviction and it is clear you have thought about and researched your topics, so that while I don't agree with all your points, I do believe you make them well.
And you do make some points I agree with - like avoiding the kind of behavior that puts one in danger. I complain to my daughter all the time about the stupidity of women who get beaten/raped/killed while walking/jogging alone at night - this kind of incident makes the news quite often. Of course no woman deserves to be attacked, but what idiocy is it in this world to jog alone in a park after dark? Recently a young female doctor was attacked while walking home alone from a local pub after spending time with friends - well after midnight. What did she expect would happen?? Nobody has ever hauled off and punched me in an elevator, and I've never gotten into a drunken, name-calling, spitting kind of argument with anyone either. We reach a point of disagreement about whether he is more guilty or not when he punched her with the force of a pro athlete, but I do agree she placed herself in a kind of danger that she really could have avoided. This case is not like the wife who gets punched for burning the dinner. Your essay is thought provoking. Brooke
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much, Brooke. I just think it's sad that no one is allowed to say that in the media.
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yeah, they would get skewered, but believe me, my daughter knows her mother will not tolerate her engaging in risky behavior - in the best of all possible worlds a woman could walk naked down a back alley in the dark, but anyone with half the sense they were born with knows this is NOT the best of all possible worlds, so one has to act accordingly
Comment from Kingsland
This is a well written article. Even if I don't agree with most of what it has to say here about this case of domestic violence. A man should never hit a woman, regardless of the fact that the woman hit him. The only good thing to come forth from this thing was an awareness of domestic violence and the enormous problem that it is in this country. A two game suspension was not enough in this incident. Why should the second video matter. Goodell should have know what happened in that elevator. I misspoke there. Goodell did know what happened in the elevator and still treated the incident unjustly. He was attempting to sweep it under the carpet. He had all of the evidence before giving out his unjust sentencing to Ray Rice. Domestic violence needs to be looked at differently than it is now perceived in this country and not just looked at as though it is just a private matter that is non of our business. Goodell acted in an unjust manner. Now remember this not a court of law, so double jeopardy does not come into the picture here. So here's your five stars for a well written article, but I look at this situation in a completely different light than you are looking at it... John
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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This is a well written article. Even if I don't agree with most of what it has to say here about this case of domestic violence. A man should never hit a woman, regardless of the fact that the woman hit him. The only good thing to come forth from this thing was an awareness of domestic violence and the enormous problem that it is in this country. A two game suspension was not enough in this incident. Why should the second video matter. Goodell should have know what happened in that elevator. I misspoke there. Goodell did know what happened in the elevator and still treated the incident unjustly. He was attempting to sweep it under the carpet. He had all of the evidence before giving out his unjust sentencing to Ray Rice. Domestic violence needs to be looked at differently than it is now perceived in this country and not just looked at as though it is just a private matter that is non of our business. Goodell acted in an unjust manner. Now remember this not a court of law, so double jeopardy does not come into the picture here. So here's your five stars for a well written article, but I look at this situation in a completely different light than you are looking at it... John
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you for reading a different point of view, John.
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
Well here I am again. Like it or not. You're right, of course, you usually are (just my opinion), but this common sense thinking is directed by the male point of view, so naturally you're wrong. Women lobby, have political clout, and cling to their historic feminism all while demanding equal rights. We, the saps, don't, and can't do this. We're stuck in t-shirts without pockets. Why should it be the NFL's concern what happens in the players personal lives anyway? Maybe because they're all overpaid from the owners to the last man on the bench. Slaves to money, and money rules. Kenny
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Well here I am again. Like it or not. You're right, of course, you usually are (just my opinion), but this common sense thinking is directed by the male point of view, so naturally you're wrong. Women lobby, have political clout, and cling to their historic feminism all while demanding equal rights. We, the saps, don't, and can't do this. We're stuck in t-shirts without pockets. Why should it be the NFL's concern what happens in the players personal lives anyway? Maybe because they're all overpaid from the owners to the last man on the bench. Slaves to money, and money rules. Kenny
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from N.K. Wagner
You did a good job with this essay, lancellot. It's concise, and well organized and documented.
When Mr. Rice pled guilty, he was convicted of a felony. If that triggered the termination clause in his contract, then that's what it did. The NFL is at fault only in handling the termination clumsily. Contract wording generally gives the NFL the latitude to enforce or not. That's why public opinion made a difference. The NFL makes money from pleasing the public, and it pleased the public that Mr. Rice be let go. The new Mrs. Rice has no beef. She learned about the law of unintended consequences. An expensive lesson. I hope the Rices both learned something about self-control. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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You did a good job with this essay, lancellot. It's concise, and well organized and documented.
When Mr. Rice pled guilty, he was convicted of a felony. If that triggered the termination clause in his contract, then that's what it did. The NFL is at fault only in handling the termination clumsily. Contract wording generally gives the NFL the latitude to enforce or not. That's why public opinion made a difference. The NFL makes money from pleasing the public, and it pleased the public that Mr. Rice be let go. The new Mrs. Rice has no beef. She learned about the law of unintended consequences. An expensive lesson. I hope the Rices both learned something about self-control. :) Nancy
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from michaelcahill
I find myself in agreement on a great deal of this. There isn't a word of this that isn't open for discussion at the very least. It is insane that she wasn't charges as the instigator and for her assault on him. Had it been a man of any size that slapped him and spit in his face, there would be no discussion. So much for equality. It does just bug the hell out of me that she is portrayed as a total victim while he is one of the ogre's of the new millennium. I'm not a fan of what he did and neither is anybody else that raises a voice in his defense. It isn't a defense of what he did, it is a defense of the outrageous penalties for it. John and Mary Public get drunk and have a fight. Mary is a spitfire when drunk, slaps hubby and spits in his face. Drunk hubby reacts in a rage and clocks her. They wake up the next morning apologetic and vowing not to let it happen again. But, nooooo! Sorry John, you may no longer pursue a career in music. You're banned from the only thing you are any good at. Oh, and good luck getting a job anywhere. You are the toast of the world! The new poster boy for an abusive husband. Well, this must be a great article, I'm blathering even more than normal. Very well written and that is important. It makes it hard to dispute when things are laid out and backed up in an intelligent manner like this. Well done. mikey
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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I find myself in agreement on a great deal of this. There isn't a word of this that isn't open for discussion at the very least. It is insane that she wasn't charges as the instigator and for her assault on him. Had it been a man of any size that slapped him and spit in his face, there would be no discussion. So much for equality. It does just bug the hell out of me that she is portrayed as a total victim while he is one of the ogre's of the new millennium. I'm not a fan of what he did and neither is anybody else that raises a voice in his defense. It isn't a defense of what he did, it is a defense of the outrageous penalties for it. John and Mary Public get drunk and have a fight. Mary is a spitfire when drunk, slaps hubby and spits in his face. Drunk hubby reacts in a rage and clocks her. They wake up the next morning apologetic and vowing not to let it happen again. But, nooooo! Sorry John, you may no longer pursue a career in music. You're banned from the only thing you are any good at. Oh, and good luck getting a job anywhere. You are the toast of the world! The new poster boy for an abusive husband. Well, this must be a great article, I'm blathering even more than normal. Very well written and that is important. It makes it hard to dispute when things are laid out and backed up in an intelligent manner like this. Well done. mikey
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from Leigh Ann
You have stated your opinion well, and with the research to back up the information given. I disagree with your stance but agree that this is well written. Five stars.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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You have stated your opinion well, and with the research to back up the information given. I disagree with your stance but agree that this is well written. Five stars.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much
