My Backyard
Home Sweet Home74 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hah! I remember my kids having one of those, and you better believe I was right out there with them, slippin' and slidin' away! They're a blast!
This was very well rhymed, and read smoothly.
I enjoyed it very much. :)
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Hah! I remember my kids having one of those, and you better believe I was right out there with them, slippin' and slidin' away! They're a blast!
This was very well rhymed, and read smoothly.
I enjoyed it very much. :)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you Dean for your thoughtful and encouraging review. They really are fun for the kids and adults too.
Janet
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My pleasure, Janet. They sure are! :)
Comment from drivenbackward
Good poem, jmf. I have only used Slip N Slide once, I think, but I loved it. It's a lot of fun. A kid would much prefer that than sitting by the ocean, steam, or elsewhere. Nice delivery.
Title (and in poem): Backyard (one word)
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Good poem, jmf. I have only used Slip N Slide once, I think, but I loved it. It's a lot of fun. A kid would much prefer that than sitting by the ocean, steam, or elsewhere. Nice delivery.
Title (and in poem): Backyard (one word)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. Thank you too for the kind correction. Greatly appreciated.
Janet
Comment from James Dooney
And your poem accompanying this also brings on the joys of summer time too ! I love what you have done here with this ! Keep it up !
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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And your poem accompanying this also brings on the joys of summer time too ! I love what you have done here with this ! Keep it up !
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Janet
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I like the carefree nature of your poem. The picture is perfect for your words. No changes. We all need to enjoy life. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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I like the carefree nature of your poem. The picture is perfect for your words. No changes. We all need to enjoy life. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Janet
Comment from tdragonfly
How much fun is that! Kids really enjoy the slip and slides . Love the poem it takes you different places to enjoy the water. Pure innocent fun. Nice ABAB form. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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How much fun is that! Kids really enjoy the slip and slides . Love the poem it takes you different places to enjoy the water. Pure innocent fun. Nice ABAB form. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Janet
Comment from mfowler
This is an excellent poem about children's play and imagination. Using 'I'd like ..' as your opening words in each of the first three stanzas allows the reader into the child's world immediately. You can see and connect to the imaginative musings of childhood. We've all been there. I loved the summary verse when the voice tells us that the back yard suffices to meet his adventurous spirit's needs.
Lovely, smooth verses carry the reader along in a way that allows the concepts to take shape in the imagination. Loved:
I'd love to sit beside a stream
and smell the freshness of the air
to climb o'er boulders, rocks and beams
with icy crystals everywhere.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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This is an excellent poem about children's play and imagination. Using 'I'd like ..' as your opening words in each of the first three stanzas allows the reader into the child's world immediately. You can see and connect to the imaginative musings of childhood. We've all been there. I loved the summary verse when the voice tells us that the back yard suffices to meet his adventurous spirit's needs.
Lovely, smooth verses carry the reader along in a way that allows the concepts to take shape in the imagination. Loved:
I'd love to sit beside a stream
and smell the freshness of the air
to climb o'er boulders, rocks and beams
with icy crystals everywhere.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review. I'm so pleased that you liked this one.
Janet
Comment from adewpearl
what a great family photo!!
good use of abab rhyming
excellent use of enjambment
good alliteration in phrases like watch the waves and perfect place
breakers' view - add apostrophe for plural possessive
good parallel construction in the I love stanzas
what an adorable closing
vivid detail with strong sensory appeal throughout :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014
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what a great family photo!!
good use of abab rhyming
excellent use of enjambment
good alliteration in phrases like watch the waves and perfect place
breakers' view - add apostrophe for plural possessive
good parallel construction in the I love stanzas
what an adorable closing
vivid detail with strong sensory appeal throughout :-) Brooke
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much Brooke for your encouraging review. I changed the punctuation immediately after reading.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from DR DIP
a sweet little verse of the innocence and simple fun of being a child. It made me reflect on my own childhood and the simple things in life that made me feel good ..well before X BOX and computer games numbed our new kids lives!!
dip
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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a sweet little verse of the innocence and simple fun of being a child. It made me reflect on my own childhood and the simple things in life that made me feel good ..well before X BOX and computer games numbed our new kids lives!!
dip
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Janet
Comment from mikemagine
You shoulda played in my backyard! :( the slip and slide was comprised of several hundred and it went downhill at an 80 degree angle. Once it stopped my heart and now I've got heart pump made out of the exact same material as the slip and slide. The paramedics cut some out and took it to the hospital for the doctor to create a pump! :(
The next I was forced, at gun point, to do the slip and slide and that time I wound up in a pool of piranhas on pot. they just didn't bite nearly as much. It was terrifying! :(
THE MAIN PROBLEM - the reason I had to endure all this is because my dad really was an android! After his heart attack, a team of experts in robotics and topflight surgeons worked on my dad. They saw that he had brain damage too, so he also received a small computer in his head! :( I just wasn't fair that I had to experience ALL that!!!!
KIDDING. I had a wonderful time in my backyard as kid between the ages of 39 and 47. Went cruising on my yacht. Held parties, need I go on???
Your backyard story is dang good!! Readers get to relive THEIR childhoods!
KEEP WRITING!
Mike
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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You shoulda played in my backyard! :( the slip and slide was comprised of several hundred and it went downhill at an 80 degree angle. Once it stopped my heart and now I've got heart pump made out of the exact same material as the slip and slide. The paramedics cut some out and took it to the hospital for the doctor to create a pump! :(
The next I was forced, at gun point, to do the slip and slide and that time I wound up in a pool of piranhas on pot. they just didn't bite nearly as much. It was terrifying! :(
THE MAIN PROBLEM - the reason I had to endure all this is because my dad really was an android! After his heart attack, a team of experts in robotics and topflight surgeons worked on my dad. They saw that he had brain damage too, so he also received a small computer in his head! :( I just wasn't fair that I had to experience ALL that!!!!
KIDDING. I had a wonderful time in my backyard as kid between the ages of 39 and 47. Went cruising on my yacht. Held parties, need I go on???
Your backyard story is dang good!! Readers get to relive THEIR childhoods!
KEEP WRITING!
Mike
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you Mike for your fun filled review. Lol fun. :-)
Janet
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You bet, my friend. Never had yacht:) A model of the Titanic, though:( Received it for Christmas and I didn't even ask for it!! So, during the first thaw, I took it to a creek, put an M-80 firecracker in it:)
But...My parents bought another one...They found out what I did:( So, one night I snuck some black hash and put it in my parents' meals. Man, were they high! When I smashed the model in front of them, they cackled until they were out of breath!
The next day though...Yeah! Another model of it - and one of the Lusitania!! I mean, WHY???
I ran away, joined Skid Row, lived there for several years. Then I came back!! At bee bee gun point(my parents were too dumb to know the difference!), I made them eat multiple cans of dog food:) They'd vomit and I'd make them eat MORE!
THOSE were the days!!
Kidding:)
Mike
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You are a hoot. You make me lol. Have a great weekend and behave - if that's possible.
Janet
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Behaaave??? WHY?? There are so many opportunities for creating chaos(well, NOT the kind that's been in the news, lately...). There are openings for some great jokes/pranks.
Well, in truth, I HAVE to behave:( I'm in restraints(I've got an orderly typing this)for hunting Canadian geese a couple months ago:( So unfair! I need to EAT!! They're almost as tasty as Asian Carp! Yum!
I used a bb gun, for crying out loud. Then too, when questioned by police, I was orientated times one. I knew who I was - nothing else. So??? And just because I heard the geese talking, they took me to the loony bin!!!
Hopefully, I'll be out soon. That is, out of goofiness:)
Mike
Comment from Eric1
Hi janet, What a beautifully expressed and wonderful poem my friend, the description and imagery within are outstanding, your rhyming helps toward a lovely rhythm and a nice smooth flow, great picture!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Hi janet, What a beautifully expressed and wonderful poem my friend, the description and imagery within are outstanding, your rhyming helps toward a lovely rhythm and a nice smooth flow, great picture!
Comment Written 01-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Janet
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Janet, it really was a pleasure to read your poem, thank you for writing it.
