Reviews from

Ball and Chain

spiritual free verse

36 total reviews 
Comment from padumachitta
Excellent
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Hi Teresa. Well, it would make a good bluegrass kind of thing. Needs a bit of a bluesy feel, I think. But, hey ...I am a poet not a musicain. Sounds like a good bit of thinking though.
hope allis well.
padumachitta

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    thanks. i
    'm good. had shoulder surgery last week. using only left hand. very tired but back to work part time. all well with you?
reply by padumachitta on 30-Sep-2014
    Hey, shoulder OP, ouch. I hope it helps down the line. And back at work, wow, iron gal:-)
    Yeah ok, a bit disillusioned with the Site, but it comes and goes...
    Life here is a bit tough at the mo...so, maybe it is just all projection...but it will change...everyday is new.
    padumachitta
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    sorry about tough time. good way to look at it. you still looking for a house? take care.
reply by padumachitta on 30-Sep-2014
    Hi Oh ya, house hunting, job hunting..word hunting...
    I will light a candle for your health , if that is okay...padumachitta
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    thank you:)
Comment from José Ángel


 
Excellent
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I liked your poem, the way you approach the issue of sin, the blame and like everyone has an outlet. Interesting work, well done and good expressed forms. Congratulations for your work, a hug from Chile.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    thanks so much:)
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hey, Teresa....

AWESOME...six star worthy.

One minor tweak I observed by reading this like a song. It could just be me, BUT, (It) in the last line kind of throws the rhythm off in my head.

This ball and chain
has been laid down
it has been laid down

Instead, I'd just repeat the line
--- has been laid down ---

Another approach is you could keep rhythm by adding a couple of words ---

it has been laid down.
oh, yes, it has been laid down

For what it is worth, so use or lose, kiddo. Great job either way.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    Thsnks for the six!!! i had it that way originally. I do agree as i read it again. thanks:)
Comment from Neonewman
Excellent
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Outstanding and proven to be true, I would love to hear the music behind this amazing creation. Jesus is the answer and is always by your side. God Bless!

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    Thanks:)
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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Yes, writer these could be song lyrics. The words flow in such a way that they sing to me. As a person of faith and knowing how much Jesus did for me when He took my sin upon Himself I am awed. I want to praise Him and to do the best I can to bring honor to Him. Keep writing, Blessings, Pat

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 Comment Written 30-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    thank you pat:)
reply by patcelaw on 30-Sep-2014
    My life story has been made into a radio drama and is to start airing on Oct 5th (part 1)and Oct 12 (part2) at this link
    www.oneplace.com/ministries/unshackled
    God bless, Patricia lawrence
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
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spiritual free verse 'Ball and Chain.' This is a great spiritual poem you have managed to create here. More words have been used as inspiration from the Bible, than any other source on earth. Well done.

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 Comment Written 30-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
    thank you:)
reply by chasennov on 01-Oct-2014
    You are welcome.