Birds of a Feather
Love poem at 50 plus30 total reviews
Comment from mauial
and
crow lines
merge us.
That is really great that we should merge as we age with our mate and not separate because of some flight of fancy.
Like the last part, about the farthest shore is here.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
  |
and
crow lines
merge us.
That is really great that we should merge as we age with our mate and not separate because of some flight of fancy.
Like the last part, about the farthest shore is here.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
-
Thank you for the beautiful comments on "flight of fancy." Lovely.
Comment from l.raven
HI Amada, growing old doesn't look so great...but you can still be sensual...and with someone who loves you...you always look good...very well written...and I love the picture...luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
|
HI Amada, growing old doesn't look so great...but you can still be sensual...and with someone who loves you...you always look good...very well written...and I love the picture...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
-
Hi Linda, thank you so much for the lovely comments.
-
you are so very welcome...xxoo
Comment from kiwijenny
I am fifty three...so this appealed to me.....and crow lines merge us..speaks to me of crows feet when we smile at each other....
When love is older it's often meeting of the mind
God bless
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
|
I am fifty three...so this appealed to me.....and crow lines merge us..speaks to me of crows feet when we smile at each other....
When love is older it's often meeting of the mind
God bless
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
-
Thank you for the great remarks and the bless.
Comment from adewpearl
good assonance in lips/kiss
good rhyme of fine/wine/refined and others later on
strong sensory and sensual appeal
excellent imagery in delivering your message about aging and the staying power of sensuality
Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
|
good assonance in lips/kiss
good rhyme of fine/wine/refined and others later on
strong sensory and sensual appeal
excellent imagery in delivering your message about aging and the staying power of sensuality
Brooke
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
-
Thank you for lovely remarks, Brooke.
Comment from reconciled
Hey Happy feet....-smile-....exceptional poem of love's endless need for more....um...that cologne...Axe...? I've seen the commercials...-headshake-... think i'll switch...I believe they mix feramoans or hormones in with the potion...its like one whiff and woman need...ya know More... haha...just pulling you're happy foot...always love Michael
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
|
Hey Happy feet....-smile-....exceptional poem of love's endless need for more....um...that cologne...Axe...? I've seen the commercials...-headshake-... think i'll switch...I believe they mix feramoans or hormones in with the potion...its like one whiff and woman need...ya know More... haha...just pulling you're happy foot...always love Michael
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
Hi happy friend, I am delighted by your comments, all the time. Oh yes, those lotions with potions... the more the better. Love.
Comment from jackpeg
Seems to tell a tale of a growing romance in short clips. I don't think "sun's scraps wrap us" works well because it is almost like a tongue twister. "crow lines merge us" on the other hand works well in this 50 plus piece, indicating crow's feet around the eyes. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
 |
Seems to tell a tale of a growing romance in short clips. I don't think "sun's scraps wrap us" works well because it is almost like a tongue twister. "crow lines merge us" on the other hand works well in this 50 plus piece, indicating crow's feet around the eyes. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
Thank you Jackpeg for reading my work and highlighting the tongue twister. On consideration.
Comment from livelylinda
amada: you go, girl! A very simple yet seductive without any dirty words, beautiful poem. Should be a good contender in the contest. Good luck with it! livelylinda
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
|
amada: you go, girl! A very simple yet seductive without any dirty words, beautiful poem. Should be a good contender in the contest. Good luck with it! livelylinda
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
Thank you for your good thoughts about this work.
Comment from Karen B.
So true that age changes us and the passion changes but remains.
"..As long as
sun's scraps
wrap us
and
crow lines
merge us.
Such vivid imagery in these words. Love it!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
 |
So true that age changes us and the passion changes but remains.
"..As long as
sun's scraps
wrap us
and
crow lines
merge us.
Such vivid imagery in these words. Love it!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
Thank you for reading my work and the set of stars. It means a lot to me.
Comment from krys123
Amaada;
I truly do not quite understand the totality of this writing, so I will try to make what I get out of it in these next words.
The setting is quite clear the tantalizing lips in the wine That is divine, sets the stage for a romantic encounter. What word set me astray are: "...As long as sun's scraps wrap us." The ones that I understand completely defining in a metaphorical way our old age are: "and crow lines merge us." That is quite definitive. The rest of the poem is is is easy as the last two that I have explained and that is love is just as great or even better after 50.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord be with you always, Amada.
Alex
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
|
Amaada;
I truly do not quite understand the totality of this writing, so I will try to make what I get out of it in these next words.
The setting is quite clear the tantalizing lips in the wine That is divine, sets the stage for a romantic encounter. What word set me astray are: "...As long as sun's scraps wrap us." The ones that I understand completely defining in a metaphorical way our old age are: "and crow lines merge us." That is quite definitive. The rest of the poem is is is easy as the last two that I have explained and that is love is just as great or even better after 50.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord be with you always, Amada.
Alex
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
Thank you Alex, such a treat that you read and examined my lines with such care. It means a lot to me. Thanks!work so
-
You are so welcome
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Amada - A good poem for the mature (and not so mature) - love when it comes is great whatever the age and it doesn't matter how old you are. I like the alliteration in 'sun's scraps wrap us' - sounds good with all the s's. Nice use of metaphor in 'crow lines merge' - Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
|
Hi Amada - A good poem for the mature (and not so mature) - love when it comes is great whatever the age and it doesn't matter how old you are. I like the alliteration in 'sun's scraps wrap us' - sounds good with all the s's. Nice use of metaphor in 'crow lines merge' - Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
Thank you,Dorothy for your review and I'm pleased you enjoyed it!
