The Amazing Ideal of Infinite Love
Stemming from a spiritual source...97 total reviews
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Rama, you've penned a wonderful poem inspired by your "hugging saint". She is a beautiful woman, apparently inside and out.
"...all windows to hatred slam shut..." (We all live for this day, don't we?)
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Rama, you've penned a wonderful poem inspired by your "hugging saint". She is a beautiful woman, apparently inside and out.
"...all windows to hatred slam shut..." (We all live for this day, don't we?)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thanks for your kind comments, dear M! Indeed, we live for that day! Love and hugs, rd
PS How's your next book coming along?
Comment from Leineco
I like that your title includes the word "Ideal" - acknowledging (in most cases) the attempt at perfection, but accepting the value of striving.
The opening 9 lines -
When
supreme love
enters
the fiber
of one's being,
all windows
to hatred
slam shut.
Not a single crack's left open
beautifully set the sketch you are about to round out in "fleshy" detail (and incidentally, immediately brought to mind the Mother Theresa model, for me)
The following 8 lines
[supreme love leaves no room]
. . .to anything other than
compassion, forgiveness,
patience and affection
as generous,
copious and
vital
as Kerala monsoon
rains.
adds heft and weight to the concept . . .and exalts its wonder to a nirvana-esque level.
The heart of the poem lies in third stanza
When divine devotion dawns,
doors of sorrow shut forever
and every single moment
is laced with grace.
In a way, I kind of want the poem to end there. . .it is such a powerful summation :-)
The following 3 stanzas do offer more "details, and serve a decorative function, but I found the consonance of the "p" and "j" sounds felt less inspired than the opening outpouring of reverence. (though I must admit I loved the line even shadows dance in bliss, for it's imagery as well as its "reminder" that shadows will still exist - but that they too will be subdued by Infinite Love).
Overall. . .my suggestion entails closing with the power of that 4th stanza
Darkness dies
inside of light.
:-) I think it says what you wanted to express so brilliantly - the rest seems more poetic convention than the jewel you intend to display :-)
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
|
I like that your title includes the word "Ideal" - acknowledging (in most cases) the attempt at perfection, but accepting the value of striving.
The opening 9 lines -
When
supreme love
enters
the fiber
of one's being,
all windows
to hatred
slam shut.
Not a single crack's left open
beautifully set the sketch you are about to round out in "fleshy" detail (and incidentally, immediately brought to mind the Mother Theresa model, for me)
The following 8 lines
[supreme love leaves no room]
. . .to anything other than
compassion, forgiveness,
patience and affection
as generous,
copious and
vital
as Kerala monsoon
rains.
adds heft and weight to the concept . . .and exalts its wonder to a nirvana-esque level.
The heart of the poem lies in third stanza
When divine devotion dawns,
doors of sorrow shut forever
and every single moment
is laced with grace.
In a way, I kind of want the poem to end there. . .it is such a powerful summation :-)
The following 3 stanzas do offer more "details, and serve a decorative function, but I found the consonance of the "p" and "j" sounds felt less inspired than the opening outpouring of reverence. (though I must admit I loved the line even shadows dance in bliss, for it's imagery as well as its "reminder" that shadows will still exist - but that they too will be subdued by Infinite Love).
Overall. . .my suggestion entails closing with the power of that 4th stanza
Darkness dies
inside of light.
:-) I think it says what you wanted to express so brilliantly - the rest seems more poetic convention than the jewel you intend to display :-)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Hi dear friend. I love your thoughtful review and also especially feel happy about your first comment regarding ideal. That was exactly my intent in including the word in the title.
Love this; and exalts its wonder to a nirvana-esque level. ~
Also thought about Mother Theresa writing this!
You're the second of my respected reviewing friends who felt the ending was redundant...so I will be strongly considering your feedback. I like to get some distance from a work before making the trims and tightening...but will revisit this soon.
Lots of Love, rd
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I took your advice and altered the poem to end on that line! Made some other revisions too. Would love your opinion on the new draft, please! Wish I had another review vote to give you. Hugs and Love, rd
Comment from bard owl
Your poem is laced with profound thoughts. I do believe that infinite, unconditional love can purge all forms of darkness in the soul. What a glorious state in which to dwell. This work comes from a serene source where negativity is banished. I wish the entire world could be washed in such gentle beauty. What an excellent, no exceptional creation. Best of luck in the contest. Blessings and love, Linda
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Your poem is laced with profound thoughts. I do believe that infinite, unconditional love can purge all forms of darkness in the soul. What a glorious state in which to dwell. This work comes from a serene source where negativity is banished. I wish the entire world could be washed in such gentle beauty. What an excellent, no exceptional creation. Best of luck in the contest. Blessings and love, Linda
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thanks for your beautiful comments and flowing rating, dear Linda. How lovely to hear from you. Your words gave me goosebumps, dear. Blessings and Love, rd
Comment from amada
How beautiful..."and every single moment
is laced with grace." Lovely and enticing thoughts of love, compassion and mercy for all. A pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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How beautiful..."and every single moment
is laced with grace." Lovely and enticing thoughts of love, compassion and mercy for all. A pleasure to read.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thanks, sweet friend. So pleased this resonated with you. Love, rd
Comment from thee-name
A nice free verse poem. A light feeling to it.
LOVE PRESENCE PREVAILS ...
PROMPTING POTENT
JUBILANT
JOY
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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A nice free verse poem. A light feeling to it.
LOVE PRESENCE PREVAILS ...
PROMPTING POTENT
JUBILANT
JOY
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed. Warmly, rd
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THANK YOU!
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Hi rd, I have been away for a bit and missed your lovely pieces filled with contemplative caresses for the soul. You asked and so I will offer my two cents worth. The $1.11 you are paying is probably too much in my case.
The first stanza is breathtaking, opening the mind to the lessons that follow.
In the second, I would drop the contraction and simply say, "not a single crack open." I think vital is the most important of the three descriptions and so would order the words vital, generous, then (because it made me smile and I love a bit of humor) copious as Karala monsoon rains.
"every single moment" is weaker than other phrases. I love laced with grace, but maybe every sip of life, or every breath. . .
Lots of "P" in the ending two, which is practically perfect except - purged means entirely cleared or removed so the word "all" is redundant and interrupted the flow as I felt it.
"Keeping negativity exiled from each new present." Not a big fan of the word negativity, but that is just personal. But I would drop "Keeping" as it starts the sentence one way and then jerks it back with the word "exiled." Perhaps as negativity is exiled from each new present."
Just my not always humble opinion, but I am a huge fan of your beautiful words and thoughts and rarely find anything to quibble with in the presentation. Probably a bit too pushy here . . . -Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Hi rd, I have been away for a bit and missed your lovely pieces filled with contemplative caresses for the soul. You asked and so I will offer my two cents worth. The $1.11 you are paying is probably too much in my case.
The first stanza is breathtaking, opening the mind to the lessons that follow.
In the second, I would drop the contraction and simply say, "not a single crack open." I think vital is the most important of the three descriptions and so would order the words vital, generous, then (because it made me smile and I love a bit of humor) copious as Karala monsoon rains.
"every single moment" is weaker than other phrases. I love laced with grace, but maybe every sip of life, or every breath. . .
Lots of "P" in the ending two, which is practically perfect except - purged means entirely cleared or removed so the word "all" is redundant and interrupted the flow as I felt it.
"Keeping negativity exiled from each new present." Not a big fan of the word negativity, but that is just personal. But I would drop "Keeping" as it starts the sentence one way and then jerks it back with the word "exiled." Perhaps as negativity is exiled from each new present."
Just my not always humble opinion, but I am a huge fan of your beautiful words and thoughts and rarely find anything to quibble with in the presentation. Probably a bit too pushy here . . . -Wendy
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much for your wonderful review, Wendy. I love your suggestion on that second stanza. I changed it to 'not a single crack opens'. Love your suggestion as well to move VITAL. Did it! Much better...and the copious Kerala phonetics sound good too right next to each other.
I also love EVERY SIP OF LIFE. So glad for your perceptive reading to notice how weak the every single moment line is. I love your suggestion so am borrowing it. THANKS!
Your review and a few others have promoted me to trim the last part as well as to move it to the middle section so that the poem ends on the darkness-light line.
Not too pushy at all, dear. I love reviews like this. Hope I have a thumb left for you!
Hugs and smiles, rd
Comment from livelylinda
rama devi: so much truth within your words of this lively and peaceful poem. It made me stop and think and realize that only with love, in abundance, shall our aching planet survive. Go in peace. livelylinda
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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rama devi: so much truth within your words of this lively and peaceful poem. It made me stop and think and realize that only with love, in abundance, shall our aching planet survive. Go in peace. livelylinda
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thanks for your lovely and thoughtful comments, LivelyLinda! :) Gad you enjoyed. Warm Smiles, rd
Comment from robina1978
Nice photo that complements your poem. All you say is true about love, and there is plenty of alliteration to call it a free verse. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Nice photo that complements your poem. All you say is true about love, and there is plenty of alliteration to call it a free verse. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thanks Ine. Nice to hear from you. Warmly, rd
Comment from kiwijenny
Darkness dies ...inside of light. I love that image and it is true.
I love the alliteration..love's presence prevails..promoting potent..jubilant joy..I love that and I will be striving to express joy jubilant today.
Love your poem.it helped me
God bless
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Darkness dies ...inside of light. I love that image and it is true.
I love the alliteration..love's presence prevails..promoting potent..jubilant joy..I love that and I will be striving to express joy jubilant today.
Love your poem.it helped me
God bless
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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So pleased this inspired, dear KJ...hope the jubilant joy flows daily! God Bless, rd
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I teach at a pre school with 70 little darling children. Jubilant joy abounds. :o)
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How wonderful! :)
Comment from onebrit
The only unconditional love I have ever felt has been for my children as I'm afraid that adults always let you down. Husbands leave, fathers walk out, it's all too much to process. Too many broken people have given their hearts and been let down. Nothing changes. I am glad you are joyful.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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The only unconditional love I have ever felt has been for my children as I'm afraid that adults always let you down. Husbands leave, fathers walk out, it's all too much to process. Too many broken people have given their hearts and been let down. Nothing changes. I am glad you are joyful.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Sorry to hear of your disappointments in love but glad you've got your children. Unconditional divine love is no personal. It is like the sun--it shines equally on all. We just need to come out of shadows to allow it in.
Warmly, rd
