Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Bravo! Great sensible and intriguing, Bev. Well doned all the way. I wish I had time to check out each and every one of your postings, my friend. Take care, my friend. X Bob

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2014

Thanks, Bob. It's a slice of life in our small town though I have to be careful to conceal that. Thanks so much for reading and sending along this encouraging review. XXOO Bev

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

I owned salons for over twenty-five years, and I have to say, it never gets any easier to find good, dependable help. The best stylists take the most liberties, and who wants the worst. Thanks for an entertaining chapter. :-)

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

I've heard from a lot of business owners who say it's hard to get and keep good help. Thanks for stopping by to read and review. :)

Comment from Antoine Charlemaine

Exceptional

Great read, Bev. Brought back many memories of my own time in business - 15 staff and 15 problems, I used to say. Oh well. Such is life.

I thought this was a great start to a new reading experience. You have a wonderful ability to paint character montages so effectively. I could picture the eatery girl perfectly, and Nikki's discomfit is very real and heartfelt.

'.. when the only thing warming up is a pair of gloves lying across a heater...' Great simile!

Thanks for a great read, Bev.

Anthony

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Hi, Anthony. Thank you so very much for this so-gracious and generous review. It's really tough being in business these days. There are some good young workers out there, but not necessarily the majority. Your insights and compliments mean a lot to me.

Warm regards, Bev

reply by Antoine Charlemaine on 01-Oct-2014

You're welcome, Bev.

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

Is this a start of a new book, Bev? I just love the character of Nikki, and her personality it's wonderful. Your descriptions, as always, grab me into the story.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
exit my condo.. (Extra period)

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Thank you, my friend, for taking time to read. I'm posting this as a short story for now. I'm especially gratified that you like Nikki. I've used this character in two previous short stories and she seems to want to have the limelight again:). I've got a little twist in mind, so may go on for a bit.

I really appreciate your encouragement and support, Karyn. Also, your sharp eye!

:) Bev

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

So we've met the salon owner and indirectly met her awful employee. But this is a mystery, so I guess we'll have to wait to find out what the mystery is. I think you could have cut about half of this out, frankly. The first few pages of a novel should grab the reader with at least a hint of something to make you want to read more, but there's no hook in here anywhere, just a play-by-play tale of a woman's day, even including coffee and bagel. Very slow start, imo. Well written, however.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Interesting perspective considering a fair number of people have found the story otherwise. BTW, it's not a novel.

Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens

Excellent

I liked your story. And even more than that, I relate to it. Having been a salon owner/operator for years, and a cosmetology school owner for longer, I found it amazing how many staff members would take any opportunity to be self serving. I will be interested in knowing how you handle this, although I already have an idea.
(I retired from the school industry in 2000)
Good job, easy to portray, could almost smell the flowers .
:-) Carolyn

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Hi, notesandmore. Thank you for taking time to read and review so kindly. I really appreciate it. :) Bev

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Lovely first part, in which I think you chose the salon to be the subject and tell the story. Nice balance in dialogue and narrative. I look forward to the next part.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Thank you so much, Ine. I appreciate the kind review and your support. :) Bev

Comment from JW

Excellent

This is a well written beginning and it makes one wonder where are you going with this.

No spags were found - no even when checking it with my Whitesmoke grammar checking - which I should have done before posting my own work recently. :-)

Thanks for sharing this, Bev. JW

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Jonathon, thank you for your supportive and encouraging review. I appreciate it! :) Bev

Comment from comanalbert

Excellent

Sorry for the previous dull comment.
You are something to wonder at stare at in awe. Your style and talent will haunt me forever and a day. Below is why:
"....to swell our local population ten-fold".
"...you've got loco in motion." (ABBA?-the Swedish pop-band)
"...ring it up on the register" ( so sound-full.

You are so good, I feel at home with your writing...I swear I will not miss any other posts. Promise.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Hi, Albert. Thanks so much for taking time to read and review my short story. I really appreciate both your encouragement and support. Kindest regards, Bev

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, writingfundimension, this sounds like it's going to be filled with delightful characters and more twists then a perm, lol.....I love the picture. I keep wanting to write something about it but that first line won't come to me

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014

Hi, Sweet. Thank you for your really kind and encouraging review. I appreciate both! :) Bev

P.S. Wish I'd thought of the line: more twists than a perm LoL.