Texas Dream Catcher
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "CHAPTER SIETE; PART DOS"Drug & human trafficking, can romance win?
43 total reviews
Comment from pbroussard209
I really like the informative nature of this chapter. Though in all honesty maybe it was too much information, after everything that just happened would Jim really be concerned about information with what a bison is or would he be more interested in the details of what happened and how they handled it? Maybe write more about what happened and less about what a bison is. This is just my option and others may see it differently. Same goes for my suggestions down below.
suggestions:
Soni slapped her cowgirl hat (I think I would leave off cowgirl and just say hat.) We have already formed a picture of her in our minds so we don't need to be reminded of what kind of hat she wears.
The cowboys have accepted you as the owner and their boss. (again drop the cowboys and change to hands, it sounds more modern. "The hands have accepted you as the owner and their boss.")
I hope this helps.
Trish
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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I really like the informative nature of this chapter. Though in all honesty maybe it was too much information, after everything that just happened would Jim really be concerned about information with what a bison is or would he be more interested in the details of what happened and how they handled it? Maybe write more about what happened and less about what a bison is. This is just my option and others may see it differently. Same goes for my suggestions down below.
suggestions:
Soni slapped her cowgirl hat (I think I would leave off cowgirl and just say hat.) We have already formed a picture of her in our minds so we don't need to be reminded of what kind of hat she wears.
The cowboys have accepted you as the owner and their boss. (again drop the cowboys and change to hands, it sounds more modern. "The hands have accepted you as the owner and their boss.")
I hope this helps.
Trish
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I agree, I have made the changes.
Comment from Joe_P
This is superb writing. The characters and setting are realistic. Wonderful command of language. Easy to read. It held my interest.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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This is superb writing. The characters and setting are realistic. Wonderful command of language. Easy to read. It held my interest.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from JaclynNightbreeze
Very interesting and well written. Its know wonder why its recognized, you did an excellent job of painting a picture for the readers! Keep up the good work, Can't wait to read more, Excellent job!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Very interesting and well written. Its know wonder why its recognized, you did an excellent job of painting a picture for the readers! Keep up the good work, Can't wait to read more, Excellent job!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from abbasjoy
Another chapter with a mystery about to rear its head. It seems ever since Jim got there, it has been one mystery after another, but very few answers.
Well, Soni no longer suspects it's a threat she has the proof.
Not sure if Jim can be a help or a hindrance in this situation. Looking forward to finding out soon.
Well written chapter, Barbara. Enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Another chapter with a mystery about to rear its head. It seems ever since Jim got there, it has been one mystery after another, but very few answers.
Well, Soni no longer suspects it's a threat she has the proof.
Not sure if Jim can be a help or a hindrance in this situation. Looking forward to finding out soon.
Well written chapter, Barbara. Enjoyable read.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barb. So sorry I have missed so much of this new story. I will be back full-time before too long, I think. Your character of Soni seems to be a strong character. I am gatering that much by your descriptive actions and her mindset herein.
Good job as always, Barb. Take care. Bob
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Hi, Barb. So sorry I have missed so much of this new story. I will be back full-time before too long, I think. Your character of Soni seems to be a strong character. I am gatering that much by your descriptive actions and her mindset herein.
Good job as always, Barb. Take care. Bob
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I'm impatiently waiting for one of your riveting novels.
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Hi, Barb. "Fatal Beauty" will be released to book stores on February 26, 2015. I have three chapters done of the second volume, but have not had time to final edit them before I post here on FS. see you soon. Thanks so much. Bob
Comment from Neonewman
Ok, makes sense now Lol. I have not read the others, I am new to fanstory, I can tell you that the writing is awesome. I never fell from the story, just wondered where I was at? Thank you for posting and certainly keep on writing. God Bless!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Ok, makes sense now Lol. I have not read the others, I am new to fanstory, I can tell you that the writing is awesome. I never fell from the story, just wondered where I was at? Thank you for posting and certainly keep on writing. God Bless!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from onebrit
More of this great story, seriously I am learning so much about the American west....and thats a good thing. Excellent (as always) dialogue, and great descriptions.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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More of this great story, seriously I am learning so much about the American west....and thats a good thing. Excellent (as always) dialogue, and great descriptions.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Another very well written chapter. I like the way you end this one with the letter which also confirms the stampede being a warning to Soni. It is always a pleasure to read your work and I thank you very much for sharing it with me.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Another very well written chapter. I like the way you end this one with the letter which also confirms the stampede being a warning to Soni. It is always a pleasure to read your work and I thank you very much for sharing it with me.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from boxergirl
This is an interesting complication to your story. First, the stampede and fire. I liked the info about the buffalo. Now another mystery - a threatening letter. Good stuff. 8-)
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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This is an interesting complication to your story. First, the stampede and fire. I liked the info about the buffalo. Now another mystery - a threatening letter. Good stuff. 8-)
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from lindalcreel
I still have a feeling Miguel may be behind these threats. As if he should talk about being a half-breed, after everything the Mexican people had to endure over the years.. If he's trying to scare Soni, I think he may be barking up the wrong tree. She doesn't seem to be the kind to scare easily.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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I still have a feeling Miguel may be behind these threats. As if he should talk about being a half-breed, after everything the Mexican people had to endure over the years.. If he's trying to scare Soni, I think he may be barking up the wrong tree. She doesn't seem to be the kind to scare easily.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I don't like Miguel either.
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My pleasure:)
