Comment from Saucey

Excellent

I don't know about you now but this is a beautiful pic and the words to match, now as far as the 5-7-5 it's not, maybe if you rewrite along these lines to put in the position to win in the contest at least, just a suggestion only,

A heart that is pure (5 Syllables)
Light that shines bright from her eyes (7 Syllables)
That girl once was me. (5 Syllables)

Thanks for sharing though they are strict when it comes to contest rules and much competition, but you can do it.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014

I'eve been out of school for a while so I mastiff gotten it wrong just decided to give it a try its my first day here. I truly appreciate your review though, very much, thank you. Will continue trying. :)
PS. I am african and not 100% with my english but not too bad either I hope

reply by Saucey on 26-Sep-2014

Nothing was wrong with your English or the wording it's the Syllable count that's why I gave you an example using your wording.

reply by Saucey on 26-Sep-2014

5-7-5 means the 1st line 5 syllables, the 2nd line 7 syllables, 3rd line 5 syllables. I hope this helps you, I believe you will be fine.

Comment from onebrit

Excellent

Yes, it's true we were all young, pure of heart, innocent, anxious to make our way in the world, make the world a better place....what happened to our youthful selves.....I guess life got in the way of our idealism, and we grew a little thicker skin. Thank you for the reminder.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2014

thank you for the appreciation :)