Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "At the Cemetery"A collection of poems on these themes
74 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
You have found the right format and the right length to tell this sad and beautiful tale. The beauty of your description is somewhat of a panacea to the tragedy of loss revealed in the last verse. Your wonderful, descriptive language made this a joy to read and absorb. My favourite part:
Do you remember how, on such a morn,
we marvelled at the view and, holding hands
as lovers do, we watched the world reborn?
The sun ignite the pines to burning brands?
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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You have found the right format and the right length to tell this sad and beautiful tale. The beauty of your description is somewhat of a panacea to the tragedy of loss revealed in the last verse. Your wonderful, descriptive language made this a joy to read and absorb. My favourite part:
Do you remember how, on such a morn,
we marvelled at the view and, holding hands
as lovers do, we watched the world reborn?
The sun ignite the pines to burning brands?
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the thoughtful comments.
Length is interesting - I worked out some time ago that I tend to write more than necessary so have made a conscious effort to cut back - it's a fault I see in others too.
Steve
Comment from scd41
Your poem in ABAB rhyme scheme on a poignant topic is well written. The minimum rules specified have been followed without compromising on the emotional content. Narrating the scenic place where the lovers used to walk hand in hand and now missing those occasions at the cemetary, your poem saddens the heart. Good luck for the contest.
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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Your poem in ABAB rhyme scheme on a poignant topic is well written. The minimum rules specified have been followed without compromising on the emotional content. Narrating the scenic place where the lovers used to walk hand in hand and now missing those occasions at the cemetary, your poem saddens the heart. Good luck for the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Ah, those dreaded well-trimmed lines. You paint a vivid
picture in you words of light and hue.
It's always language and discipline that set
your poems apart.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Ah, those dreaded well-trimmed lines. You paint a vivid
picture in you words of light and hue.
It's always language and discipline that set
your poems apart.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Lee
Looks like being a tough contest.
Steve
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent poetic words and phrases in this excellent observant write packed with imagery, Steve.
Difficult ABAB rhyme mastered with aplomb.
Top alliteration without being over the top.
Top pentameter for a very smooth and entertaining read.
Excellent.
Cheers, Ray.
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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
|
Excellent poetic words and phrases in this excellent observant write packed with imagery, Steve.
Difficult ABAB rhyme mastered with aplomb.
Top alliteration without being over the top.
Top pentameter for a very smooth and entertaining read.
Excellent.
Cheers, Ray.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Ray.
I might whip up an entry for other contests in half an hour, but these cash-prize ones deserve a bit of care and attention....
Steve
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'half an hour' is FAR too long to spend on some of these rubbish contests, Steve. If it takes me more than ten minutes to write a 575 or other shortie, then I don't bother.
Cheers, Ray.
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'half an hour' is FAR too long to spend on some of these rubbish contests, Steve. If it takes me more than ten minutes to write a 575 or other shortie, then I don't bother.
Cheers, Ray.
