Blue Flu Blues
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Glove Soft Like Leather"A P.I. works with the cops
4 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
fallen off of the couch - fallen off the couch
you set the stage well in the opening lines
and describe the state of the narrator effectively
grunge off of my teeth - grunge off my
good use of natural-sounding dialogue, which also imparts information about what is going on well
Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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fallen off of the couch - fallen off the couch
you set the stage well in the opening lines
and describe the state of the narrator effectively
grunge off of my teeth - grunge off my
good use of natural-sounding dialogue, which also imparts information about what is going on well
Brooke
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thank you for pointing out that mistake. I've changed it.
Thank you also for your feedback and continued support.
Comment from onebrit
Poor guy, that horrific early morning look in the mirror is never easy! We have all been there done that. Story is starting to heat up now, moving quickly. Terse conversation. Enjoying it.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Poor guy, that horrific early morning look in the mirror is never easy! We have all been there done that. Story is starting to heat up now, moving quickly. Terse conversation. Enjoying it.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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I can be quite a shock at time can't it Thank you for reading and for your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Jay Squires
The chapter is progressing well, but there were a few more spags than I usually find. I had to deduct a star, but will be happy to give it back to you when you let me know the corrections have been made.
I realized I had fallen off of the couch ["of" is not needed in this sentence.]
"I've got some information on a location for our favorite guy". [The period is INSIDE the closed quote.]
Marge turned to me and asked, "I think we both have the same idea about what happened there. [Marge didn't ask a question. Also, there's no closed quote at the end of her dialogue.]
Thank God for small mercies, huh? [No closed quote]
The radio suddenly crackled to life. "Car 47, [Paragraph space needed.]
I DO like this novel though.
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There are still two places you have them outside the quote:
"Sounds like a plan".
Let me know when you fix it.
"Car 47, we're in position, waiting for your command to proceed".
You got it! Catch!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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The chapter is progressing well, but there were a few more spags than I usually find. I had to deduct a star, but will be happy to give it back to you when you let me know the corrections have been made.
I realized I had fallen off of the couch ["of" is not needed in this sentence.]
"I've got some information on a location for our favorite guy". [The period is INSIDE the closed quote.]
Marge turned to me and asked, "I think we both have the same idea about what happened there. [Marge didn't ask a question. Also, there's no closed quote at the end of her dialogue.]
Thank God for small mercies, huh? [No closed quote]
The radio suddenly crackled to life. "Car 47, [Paragraph space needed.]
I DO like this novel though.
***********************************************************
There are still two places you have them outside the quote:
"Sounds like a plan".
Let me know when you fix it.
"Car 47, we're in position, waiting for your command to proceed".
You got it! Catch!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Hi, I'm Mary. I type for Bob (Ward) and I am responsible for pretty much most of what you just caught. I really didn't feel like typing this up today and I guess it shows huh? I'll go back and fix it tomorrow. Thank you for your help.
B.t.w. I'm never sure, does the punctuation go outside or inside the end quotes?
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The punctuation goes inside the quote, Mary. Please let me know when the changes have been made so I can return the star.
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Hi Jay,
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Hi Jay,
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Oops! I'll try again. Hi jay. I think I fixed the problems you pointed out. Could you please re-read it and see if I missed anything? Thank, Mary
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I thought it should go inside since it is part of what one is saying. I mistype it sometimes though. Usually when I type too fast and don't go back and proofread. Thank you for your help.
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Look at the end of my last review. I pointed out two places of misplaced punctuation.
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O.k. I've go those taken care of. Usually at least one other person will point out my punctuation mistakes. So far, you are the only one to do so. Maybe this type is harder to notice. It may be easier to just skim over this without noticing because we're not looking for it. Kind of like those trick messages that will have the the or some such deliberate error and very few catch it.
Thank you once again for the help.
Mary
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Ouch! Hey, a little more warning next time!
Thanks again for the help.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Ward,
Another enjoyable chapter. I like reading you, because the flow is smooth, easy-going and flows off the tongue naturally, not scripted.
Well done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*>*)
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Hi Ward,
Another enjoyable chapter. I like reading you, because the flow is smooth, easy-going and flows off the tongue naturally, not scripted.
Well done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*>*)
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thank you for continuing to read and offer your helpful feedback.
